Okay, so I've seen quite a few movies! And of course I have opinions on
pretty much all of them, so I decided to amuse myself by writing up reviews for
a bunch of them. These are my "new movie" reviews. I guess that category kind of starts with Robert Redford for me. If any of these help somebody else, that's GREAT. I'd love to
hear about it, too. And, if you disagree or disaprove, you can write me and
get it off your chest. I try to not only let you know what kind of objectional
material is in each flick, but also what the quality of the creative work
itself is, as well as any particular bonuses (or "the good") in the film. My
rating system is at the bottom. Basically, 1 is bad, 5 is good. Have
fun! And by the way, not that I think anybody would bother, but don't steal any
of my reviews, okay? They're all copyrighted to me. I happen to like to keep my
work to myself. Thanks!
Quick reference:
Go to J-P or R-Z
"A GUY THING" (PG-13; 2002) Stars: Julia Stiles, Jason Lee, Selma Blair, James Brolin
This was misadvertised, I think. It's a straight-up wacky physical comedy, with several moments of gross-out comedy and a happy ending thrown in. Funny moments are there, but not outstanding. Rating: **
"A KNIGHT'S TALE" (PG-13; 2001) Stars: Heath Ledger, Paul Bettany)
This is a GOOD movie. I'm one of those Heath-Ledger-is-a-real-hottie chicks, but it's not like that's the ONLY reason I liked this movie (and 10 Things and The Patriot...), although he does help it along (so does this nobody Paul Bettany..talk about charisma! and I adore the little group of guys they have going there!) I love the parallels they draw between modern day and "way back then"..they aren't even subtle about it, but why should they be? They're just out to have a good time. See the movie. Seriously. Male posterior nudity, language, violence. Rating: ****
"A WALK TO REMEMBER" (PG; 2002) Stars: Mandy Moore, Shane West
This movie is better than I expected it to be. You might as well know right now -it *is* from a Nicholas Sparks novel, so it's gonna be sad. It's also very well acted and very atypical (see an almost unrecognizable Mandy Moore and Daryl Hannah in roles they *inhabit*). The religion of the reverand and his daughter is tragic, and I would have liked to hear an answer about the sex thing, but oh well. Rating: **1/2
"THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY & BULLWINKLE" (PG) Stars: Robert de Niro, Rene Russon, Jason Alexander, Piper Parebo, and about a zillion cameos (it's an ensemble)
Well, it's silly, yes, but it's not exactly a kiddy-kids movie. I was never a "Rocky & Bullwinkle" fan, but the cartoon's humor was always more mature than the average animated piece, and the movie stays true to that form. The only thing that didn't go straight over the childrens heads was that it was completely wacky. I loved how they made fun of themselves even while treating themselves with respect. (i.e. Narrarator: "The years of reruns had caused even Rocky & Bullwinkle's wordplay to deteriorate..." Bullwinkle: "No, it was always like that.") The "releasing the inner child" storyline didn't always work, but it's still a fun family (yet tongue-in-cheek) movie. Rating: **1/2
"ALL THE PRETTY HORSES" (PG-13) Stars: Matt Damon, Penelope Cruz, Lucas Black
They sold this movie, naturally, as a romance, the principle characters being Matt Damon and Penelope Cruz. It really came as no surprise to me that it was one of the farthest things from a romance movie to ever be sold as a romance movie. Penelope Cruz is barely in it, for one thing. You could be a Matt Damon fan, a western fan (actually, it's set mostly in Mexico, and partially in a prison, so that's 2 variations of a western), and a slow-paced movie fan, and still not like this movie. I was going to be nice and say there was a glimmer of intelligence buried in the story somewhere, but no, there really wasn't. Rating: *
"ALMOST AN ANGEL" (PG; 1990) Stars: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski
Okay, there are a lot of flaws in this movie, but Paul Hogan is really, really sweet in it. He's always pretty fun to watch (I think he played the same character in all his movies, personally), and there are some cute moments (as well as a cute theme) in this movie. It's good for a family like mine. There's mild language. Rating: ***
"AMERICAN OUTLAWS" (PG-13; 2001) Stars: Colin Farrell, Timothy Dalton, Ali Larter, Scott Caan, Gregory Smith
I really wanted to like this movie. With proven talent like Timothy Dalton and Kathy Bates in it, it should have been practically a foregone conclusion. Plus, besides being a cutie, Colin Farrell looks to have a lot of potential, and I know Ali Larter (who is also quite pretty) can be good. Unfortunately, the crappy, juvenile writing just about ruins the whole thing. The only possible point of redemption is that the movie takes a 100% up-turn an hour into it. Unfortunately, this doesn't change the fact that the emotional side of the characters is so poorly developed that they end up having no visible reason for making any of the decisions they make, the romance has no basis, I could care less about most of the gang, and why doesn't Cole get a little more punishment? I also have a hard time believing Jesse James was some kind of western Robin Hood, although admittedly, I know very little of his story (pathetic, since I practically grew up in Liberty, MO). I suppose one other upside is that there's only a tiny bit of violence and ditto on the language. Rating: *** (if you're bored)
"AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS" (PG-13; 2001) Stars: Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Billy Crystal, John Cusack
This is a very fun movie. It does make fun of diva-like celebrities and the movie biz, but they don't take it too far. Julia Roberts is excellent in this movie, and she and Catherine are really cute together. I think they really tried to give this movie the feel of, well, more actual movie (since it's about the movie business) than real-life story, and it really works for it. It almost gives the impression of an oldie. I do have to agree with the old lady who walked out of the theater ahead of me, however --"there wasn't a WHOLE lot of plot to that, was there?" It was more character-driven, and the characters were good. Oh and for any other Seth Green lovers..he's in here, too, only he looks a little like Kermit the Frog --still funny though! (I don't think he can be anything but..lol) There's sexual implications, drug use implications, adultery/divorce situations. Rating: ***1/2
"ANNA AND THE KING" (PG-13) Stars: Jodie Foster, Chow Yung-Fat
Well, it was pretty interesting, and the acting was good. Obviously, not a musical like the first one, and no, they don't over-romanticise the story. But it was really long, and I got rather bored with it, and it's not exactly satisfying, and it's definitely not funny...at all. There's some violence and, well, implications of a harem. lol Rating: **
"THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT" (PG-13; 1995) Stars: Michael Douglas, Annette Bening,
Michael J. Fox, Martin Sheen
Okay, first off, I just didn't see a whole lot of chemistry between Michael and
Annette. Second, this movie was done by the same guy (Aaron Sorkin) that
does "The West Wing" and it has the same political message, this is a
Democratic president, the Republican candidate is the "bad guy", and there's a
bunch of junk about gun control and Global Warming in there. The agenda wasn't
quite as strong in this movie as it is on that TV show, fortunately, which at
least makes it bearable. There were some cute moments, but many of them were
cut short or fell flat. It could have been much, much better. Besides what I
already warned you about, there's sexual content and language. Rating: **1/2
"ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD" (PG) Stars: Danny Glover
Here's a baseball film for you! A little boy prays that the Angels team will
start winning and out come the angels to help out! Not completely Biblical of
course, and there's a lot of language. Rating: ***
"ANTZ" (PG) Stars: the voices of Woody Allan, Sharon Stone, Jennifer Lopez,
Sylvestor Stalone, and Christopher Walken
Okay, this is the movie everybody has been comparing to "A Bug's Life". My main
complaint with this one was that it had way too much bad language to be a
decent kid's movie. I'm sure they put in all the adult themes and stuff to make
it one of those "movies the whole family can enjoy", but it was quite
unnecessary. There were also a few scenes with some pretty intense action that
might not be suitable for very young children. If it weren't for the language,
however, this movie (considering the cute characters and fairly interesting
plot) would probably be cuter (and more grown-up, obviously) than "A Bug's
Life". Just take heed, there's way too much bad language for kids. Rating:
***
"ANYWHERE BUT HERE" (PG-13) Stars: Natalie Portman, Susan Sarandon
I found this movie depressing. SOME people think it's sweet. I thought it
portrayed a rather hopeless life style, and a dead-end relationship. It was
full of that senseless tragedy everybody knows I hate with a vengeance! But
hey, it was good acting. And a great soundtrack. lol There's sexual content,
and it's pretty dark, if ya know what I mean. Rating: ** 1/2
"ARMAGEDDON" (PG-13; 1998) Stars: Ben Affleck, Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, Billy
Bob Thornton
I do love this movie. It's exciting and sweet and funny and heroic and it made
me cry at least the first 4 times. lol The acting is great, the story is
interesting -maybe even a little scary. Liv Tyler does an excellent job working
your emotions from "down on earth" as the girl who has a lot to lose. There's
language, violence, adult themes, implied sexuality...there's a scene in a
strip bar, too. The rating is quite deserved. Rating: *****
"AS GOOD AS IT GETS" (PG-13; 1997) Stars: Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, Greg
Kinnear
Okay, there's a gay guy, a grumpy guy, a single mother, some language, sexual
implications, and partial and implied nudity, but this is a really sweet movie.
There's some great lines, too. It didn't win awards for nothing. It's a little
bit of an "old people romance"...but I think anybody can enjoy it. I mean,
you're not gonna fall in love with the love interest, obviously, and there's
nobody else that cute either (I mean, Greg's nice and all, but he's gay in
this!), unless you like the dog, but still, this is just a great movie...I
can't explain the charm! Rating: ****
"AT FIRST SIGHT" (PG-13) Stars: Val Kilmer
Blind guy gets his sight back and has to adjust. That's the point of this
movie. There are twists and turns, it's quite realistic (and, in that alone,
interesting), and there's quite a bit of more-than-implied sex (you know the
kind, not quite "everything" but more than enough). It kind of drags, and need
I tell you there is a lot of angst and sexual undertones? I didn't care for
the
ending much, either. There weren't a lot of redeeming qualities. I watched it
because I was curious, and hey, if you want to do that too, no problem. Rating:
**
"ATTACK OF THE CLONES -Star Wars: Episode Two" (PG; 2002) Stars: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen
The obvious first thing to say about this movie is "well, it's better than Episode One", which is true: it moves faster, Hayden Christensen is a lot more fun to watch than Jake Lloyd (even if Anakin is still a little brat), and there are more indications of what is to come. The acting isn't above average, but these are still 3 talented actors, so it's not bad; the writing is not superb (writing really isn't George Lucas' gift), but at least there's an actual plot and a whole lot less Jar Jar. It seems that Star Wars movies are impossible to judge by the same standards as "regular" movies, especially since this one ends in a bit of a cliffhanger and we all know everything will be resolved in the next, third, and [supposedly] last one, but thinking back on this movie leaves me with a few tingly "ImaStarWarsfan" feelings, and with hope for the next one. (I could leave it at that, but I have a few completely irrelevant complaints. First, I was shocked at the previews they have running with this movie. Star Wars or not, it's still PG, and they were showing R-rated movies with it! [Matrix Reloaded, MIB2, Minority Report] I was with kids, and I was horrified. But back to the actual movie, here we thought Ex-Queen/Now-Senator Padme Amidala was actually a sensible girl. How could she "fall in love" with the obviously unstable Anakin, and knowingly take on his destruction as a Jedi by breaking the rule about attachments? Whatever. We can see the writing on the wall. George Lucas isn't exactly subtle. One other thing, I love Ewan McGregor (hate the beard, but am understanding) and want to make sure everyone noticed Anakin's attitude isn't all his (Obi-Wan's) failure -obviously, Senator/Supreme Chancellor/Emperor-to-be Palpatine has kept an eye -in order to corrupt with his influence- on Anakin). Rating: ***1/2
"THE BACHELOR" (PG-13) Stars: Chris O'Donnell
This movie is short on plot...very short actually. Has some cute parts, but
it's mostly forgettable, and besides we have to listen to all the BACHELORS
prattle on about getting "roped" into marriage, etc. Language, lots of it.
Rating: ** (if you're desperate...)
"BANDITS" (PG-13; 2001) Stars: Billy Bob Thornton, Bruce Willis, Cate Blanchett
This is one of 2001's best movies. Excellent acting, of course (how could this cast go wrong?), great, unique script, beautiful filmography (surprising), and even an interesting, quirky sountrack. Plus, how amazing is Cate Blanchett? She actually looks beautiful in this movie (I'm sorry, I just never would have guessed). See the movie, it's funny (I laughed outloud -loudly- at at least two scenes), but it's not just comedy. There is language, and the only reason it's not getting a 5-star is because it IS still basically just fluff. Rating: ****
"BATMAN" (PG-13; 1989) Stars: Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger
This is the first "real" Batman movie, at least as far as I know. In this one
Batman is basically a phenomenon in Gotham City; nobody knows who he is and
they're basically afraid of him. It's pretty interesting! Oh and the Batmobile
is especially cool in this one. It was a good movie, some sexual implications
and violence. If you like Batman I'm sure you'd enjoy it. Rating: *** 1/2
"BATMAN & ROBIN" (PG-13) Stars: George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Alicia
Silverstone, Uma Thurman, Arnold Schwartzenegger
This is the most recent Batman movie, as well as the worst. The jokes are stale
and predictable, the acting is below-average, and the adventure is laughable. I
had a hard time getting through this movie even the first time, and it's too
bad, too, because it has an incredible cast. Uma Thurman's performance
as "Poison Ivy" is the most interesting role, but none of these actors
displayed the talent they have shown in *any* of their other films. Rating:
**
"BATMAN FOREVER" (PG-13) Stars: Val Kilmer, Chris O'Donnell, Nicole Kidman, Jim
Carrey
Originally, this was my favorite Batman movie. As I became more of a Batman fan through the comics, I started to appreciate this film less. It's cartoon-y and manic. I don't like the casting of Val Kilmer or Chris O'Donnell, though I did and do enjoy Nic Kidman. Mostly, I dislike the way Batman's "issues" are treated. I thought it was neat and original the first time I saw the movie (years ago), but Batman's motives don't quite jive with those many (including myself) see in the comic book character, and his reactions to Robin are out-of-character on that basis. Look out for some violence (of course) and the Riddler is, um, pretty weird!
Rating: ***
"BATMAN RETURNS" (PG-13) Stars: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer
This is like the worst Batman movie, if you ask me. (It gives "Batman & Robin a
run for it's money, anyway.) I love Danny DeVito, but as
the Penguin, he's just gross. This was just a "dark" movie, with a lot of
violence, blood, and harsh themes. The whole thing with "Cat Woman" was pretty
strange, too. Rating: **
"BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM" (1993) Stars: the voices of Kevin Conroy, Dana Delany, Mark Hamill
If you're looking for a Batman movie, you won't be disappointed with this one. It has The Joker (v. important to the relative enjoyment of Batman cartoons, I've discovered), a love interest for Bruce Wayne (who, thanks to the wonderfulness of kid-oriented cartoons, is not at all schmoopy but *is* dealt with in an adult storyline), and Alfred on the top of his game (I love Alfred). Batman movies are meant to be dramatic, with dark overtones. This one doesn't disappoint; consider that the opening credits run with operatic music booming from your speakers. Mmm.(Animated)
"BATMAN: MYSTERY OF THE BATWOMAN" (PG; 2003)
Stars: the usual voices: Kevin Conroy, Tara Strong, Efrem Zimbalist Jr, Bob Hastings, David Ogden Stiers, Hector Elizondo, Kelly Ripa, Kimberly Brooks, Elisa Pensler-Gabrielli, Kyra Sedgwick
Another animated Batman made-for-DVD movie that I enjoyed a lot. This was a Batman Lite type movie, and in this one I particularly enjoyed the Batman(Bruce)/Robin(Tim) interaction. The music was great, and I liked all 4 of the original female characters (which is a wow). And Batwoman had pink accents on her uniform--just gotta like a bold move like that. If you pick up the DVD, be sure not to miss the bonus featurette "Chase Me". Some of the behind-the-scenes material is worth watching, also.
"BATMAN BEYOND: RETURN OF THE JOKER" (director's cut: PG-13; 2000) Stars: the voices of Will Friedle, Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, Angie Harmon
Even though it's a completely different Batman than we're used to, this is an enjoyable movie. It's a complete story, including flashbacks and our favorite old villain. The characters are fleshed out and entertaining (the Dee-Dee twins, Terry, Harley Quinn). The action is exciting for kids and adults. (Animated.)
"BATMAN & MR FREEZE: SUBZERO" (1998; animated)
Fun. Great animation, some cute lines, as usual. A good Robin. But most importantly, this animated version of the Mr. Freeze story is a hundred times better than the real people movie (Batman & Robin, see above).
"THE BATMAN SUPERMAN MOVIE" (1998; animated) Stars: the voices of Tim Daly, Kevin Conroy, Dana Delany, Mark Hamill, Clancy Brown, Arleen Sorkin, etc.
I am so in love with this movie. Superman, Batman, Clark, Bruce, Lois, Lex, Joker, Harley, Mercy... Delicious. Cute lines, great animation. The interaction is a lot of fun to watch.
"A BEAUTIFUL MIND" (PG-13; 2001) Stars: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ed Harris, Paul Bettany
I liked it more than I expected. Russell Crowe is truly amazing in his role. Ron Howard is a *great* director. They're right when they say this is... realistic. Very well done. Rating: ***
"BEDAZZLED" (PG-13; 2000: Stars: Elizabeth Hurley, Brendan Fraser
I wanted to see this because the ads looked fun...for some reason I don't remember (I'm not a Brendan Fraser fan). Elizabeth Hurley is hot in this movie, and it's probably perfect for a certain kind of guy. Have fun. Rating: *
"BED OF ROSES" (PG; 1996) Stars: Christian Slater, Mary Stuart Masterson
Okay, they said this movie was something like "Sleepless in Seattle", so I
thought, "Hey, gotta try it!"...well, it definitely wasn't as good as that
classic! lol But hey, they tried hard. If you're really, really bored, you
might go for this. It's about a woman with some really strange issues, and her
secret admirer...who has some issues himself. Okay, so at least it ends happy!
Course, you can see it coming...all of it...from a mile away. Rating: **
"BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Parminder K. Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers
Funny parts. Cute parts. But overall, fairly dull. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers was a cutie, and I like the girls. But that doesn't make me like the movie. Rating: **
"BIG DADDY" (PG-13; 1999) Stars: Adam Sandler and a little boy that's way too
cute to
be in an Adam Sandler movie!
Okay, I had hoped to never see another Sandler movie after "The Waterboy", but
I did, and this one was much better, so I decided to rate "The Waterboy" after
all, 'cause obviously it wasn't just me, it really WAS horrible. There's a lot
of inappropriate humor and language and sex in this movie, so I do NOT
recommend it. Rating: * 1/2 (If you think that's mistake after I said it was
much better than "The Waterboy", you're way wrong. lol)
"BLAST FROM THE PAST" (PG-13) Stars: Brendan Fraser, Alicia Silverstone,
Christopher Walken
Okay, you probably saw Brendan Fraser (of "George of the Jungle" and other
equally retarded movies) and thought NO WAY DUDE, but, hey, this was actually
an interesting movie. If you noticed that Christopher Walken was in it as well,
you probably realized that it couldn't be a slapstick comedy, and it isn't. The
first half is boring, there aren't any really GREAT parts, but it's a pretty
well done movie. It's about this guy with looney parents (one of which is Chris
Walken) that live in a bomb shelter for 35 years, which results in Mr. Never-
Been-to-Ground-Level having a major culture clash: raised with an isolated,
60's mentality, and facing a 90's world when he goes up for food and supplies.
They didn't do a very good job of showing how he was a better person for having
a stronger morality code in this movie, and the romance part wasn't REAL
believable (something like the Tarzan meets City Chick thing in "George..."),
but you might check this movie out if you're bored or curious. Rating: ** 1/2
"BOUNCE" (PG-13; 2000) Stars: Ben Affleck, Gwenyth Paltrow
Okay, so it was pretty predictable (make that more than predictable) for a love
story. And I gotta say I think the whole concept of falling in love with the
guy who practically killed your husband is kinda..weird (hey I just made you
want to see it I bet!), but it was a decent movie. Everybody's been saying it's Ben's
best work as an actor..I don't agree; I thought it was pretty much the usual,
but then he's always pretty good. There's some sexual implications, language,
drinking problems, death of course (and some of how the family deals with it,
though not a WHOLE lot) and a gay character. Rating: ***
"THE BOURNE IDENTITY" (PG-13; 2002) Stars: Matt Damon, Franka Potente
Matt Damon was fine in his part as action star. As far as my personal preferences goes, I don't like Damon and I do like Franka Potente, but my opinion on either of them is the same- fine for their roles. Franka's character, the gypsy, going on the run with Matt as a lark, was intriguing but not well developed. Rating: *** (entertaining, but probably only once)
"BOYS & GIRLS" (PG-13) Stars: Freddie Prinz Jr, Claire Forlani, Jason Biggs
This movie could have earned quick points with me by NOT using the tag line (it's all over the movie!) "Warning: Sex Changes Everything!" It's not even the point of the movie, but if the makers thought it was, that's a pretty sad commentary. This is kind of a "When Harry Met Sally" spin-off, only not as philosophical (and not as well done). It was alright, and for those of us who enjoy Freddie's collection of prom-star teen flicks, I'm sure it's as good as the last. But otherwise, it's a little boring, a little disjointed, and not exactly satisfying. There's sex, language, and light references to homosexuality. Rating: **
"BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Steve Martin, Queen Latifa, Jean Smart
Wow. Really not one of Steve Martin's better movies. I didn't find it funny, but then the only reason I watched it in the first place was for Michael Rosenbaum's very small role. Rating: **
"BRING IT ON" (PG-13; 2000) Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku
Basically, the only reason I wanted to see this movie was for Eliza, but I'm not sorry I did. It's a very high-energy movie, which I happen to like. It was a fun night's entertainment, at least. It's kind of strange, on the surface it might seem pretty to be a pretty shallow story, but it's actually very well done. Music is great, too. There's language and sexual and homosexual implications, and yes, a lot of sexuality and bikini-flashing..lol Rating: ***
"BROKEDOWN PALACE" (PG-13; 1999) Stars: Claire Danes, Bill Pullman, Kate Beckinsale
I finally got to see this movie! It was worth watching, too (always a relief). It was kind of mysterious, but not over-done in the frusterating way. The end made me cry, in a sweet way, especially since the movie-reaction wasn't over-emotional. (I know that sounds weird, but you'll have to watch it to understand!) Plus, bonus, the soundtrack is great. The story was actually terrifyingly possible, although I thought they were a little too calm about the situation during certain parts. Still, it was well done and very interesting too watch. It's about these two American girls who get thrown into a Thai jail, basically. Sounds pretty intriguing, hmm? There's sexual content, some violence and violent situations, and a little language (some brief harsh stuff). Rating: ***
"BUDDY" (PG; 1997) Stars: Rene Russo, Robbie Coltrane
As animal-rights movies go, this one ...did poorly for a reason. It drags on
for barely an hour and a half, with no redeeming features whatsoever. Besides
that, the end was way too suspenseful/violent for kids, and why any adult would
want to sit this out is beyond me. You're not missing anything by not seeing
this movie. Rating: *
"BYE BYE LOVE" (PG-13) Stars: Paul Reiser, Matthew Modine, Dennis Quaid, Eliza
Dushku, Amber Benson
If this movie didn't have Eliza Dushku (and playing a good girl..for the most
part...for once) in it, I never would have watched it. The whole theme is
divorce, and although I could relate to some of it, and it did end up with a
fairly objective viewpoint, I still don't really find it necessary to sit
around watching all the angst and arguments. There were some cute parts, but
nothing that really stood out. There is a bit of teen drinking, sexual
implications, and some language. Rating: ***
"CAN'T HARDLY WAIT" (PG-13; 1998) Stars: Seth Green, Seth Green, Seth Green..oh
yah
and people like Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ethan Embry...
Loved this movie. It gets a little tedious the second time around (all except
for the parts with Kenny, who is played by SETH GREEN, obviously! lol he's a
great actor!) but it's hysterical the first time!! Okay, so it doesn't really
have a point (although the characters are quite well-portayed and they show the
shallowness of public high school VERY well) and there's LOTS of bad stuff in
it --language, sex, teen drinking, innuendo, but hey no actual acts of....lol
Anyway, it's about a party celebrating the end of high school. There's an
AMAZING ensemble cast (like every other person will be somebody you know from
something else), and, well, there's Seth Green! lol However, watch out, the
rating is definitely deserved. Rating: **** (At least the first time!)
"CAST AWAY" (PG-13) Stars: Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt is in it a little...and then there's Wilson...
My friend Hollie says this movie only got so much hype because of Tom Hanks. ANYTHING with him in it would get attention, she says. I think she's right, because it's NOT that great a movie. Interesting in a boring way, maybe, if that makes sense! It was very long, very quiet, and I didn't like the end at all. (Frankly, if I was him, I would have started swimming back to my island.) Rating: **
"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN" (PG-13; 2002) Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen
The story of Frank Abagnale Jr. is fairly entertaining in itself. (The special features on the DVD are very interesting.) The movie has an excellent score and the feel of a really classy movie from time to time. It's well done and well acted, covering the issue(s) at hand extremely realistically. Basically, it's a really good *story*, and there just *aren't* enough of those in the mainstream movie business these days, so the movie gets my vote. On one hand, I'll be thinking about the concept for awhile. On the other hand, I wasn't entertained enough to watch it again. There's sexual implications (a lot) and some language.
Rating: ***
"CATS & DOGS" (PG; 2001) Stars: the voices of Tobey Maguire, Alec Baldwin, Sean Hayes, Susan Sarandon
If your family loves animals and is running low on movies to watch together, go ahead and try this one. The concept is pretty cute and there are some fun parts, but it's not the most intelligent movie of it's genre (if you don't care, than ignore me). Rating: **
"CENTER STAGE" (PG-13) Stars: Peter Gallagher and a bunch of ballerinas (are guy ballet dancers called ballerinas by the way?)
This movie actually has a lot of similarities to movies like "Bring it On" or "Coyote Ugly", for example. It's quite enjoyable for certain purposes, generally one-night-stand use only, unless you're a big ballet buff (it treats the ballet with real love). Anyway, the first time you watch it, it'll keep you going, with intermittent loud-music, high-excitement choreographed scenes, and there's a decent plot thrown in to boot. Only problem is it's rather boring the second time around. There's sensuality, sexual implications, language, homosexuality in a character. Rating: ***
"CHARLIE'S ANGELS" (PG-13; 2000) Stars: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy
Liu
Well, of course it's very different from the TV show (except that they still
show a lot of skin!), but they kept a sense of humor about themselves --and,
without getting into slapstick! There were a lot of slow-motion scenes, but the
action was exciting, fairly realistic, and still dramatic. It was very much a
chick movie, what with the female superhero scenerio, and yet I think a guy
could enjoy it (what's not to like, the girls were of course fashionably
attired at all times). There's sexual innuendo, obviously some violence but
nothing bloody, and I'm sure some language. I enjoyed it...it does get a little old if you watch it a few times. BTW, it was pointed out to me later
that the girls rely on kung fu, because they don't carry guns, so there is a
bit of a politically correct message there after all! Rating: ***1/2
"CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy
Liu
I'm bummed. The first Charlie's Angels movie was campy, pretty, action-fun. I thought, surely that silly "Full Throttle" business doesn't mean anything. The start of the movie made me wonder if they'd crossed the line with the camp. The rest of the movie didn't get any better. The plot, if there is any to speak of, was ludicrous. Demi Moore was horrendous. The cameos were ridiculous. It even got jarringly violent in some places. Bill Murray got out while the getting was good. The best thing I can say about this is: I love Natalie ("It's just #1!"). Rating: **
"CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN" (2003; PG) Stars: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Tom Welling, Hilary Duff, Kevin Schmidt
Love this. Of course, my first motive was Tom Welling (big fan of his Clark Kent role), but he actually adds very little to this movie. It stands on its own, which also dismisses the contribution of the 1950 version. The only things that stay the same between the two movies are the number of children and the title of the movie itself. Even the family name is different. The dad, by the way, does *not* die, which I think is important to know if you're looking for a family movie. And this *is* a family movie, of the kind I didn't think Hollywood made anymore. I think it's one of Steve Martin's best in years, I'm in love with Bonnie Hunt--she was the perfect devoted mother and she totally *glowed* and she was just visibly happy *being* a mom--the kids were perfect, and even the sort of sideline story with Piper and Ashton Kutcher was neat. Plus, movies like this just don't get made enough. Putting family first, being satisfied with brothers and sisters as friends, keeping priorities straight--that's not exactly a PC message nowadays. Rating: ****
"CHICAGO" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Queen Latifa, Richard Gere
RZ and CZJ have mad skills. They really seem like classic actresses in this movie. They're beautiful, and they have a *lot* of "stage" presence, and they can sing! The formatting of the film, also, was unique and interesting, and plainly entertaining. Even though I'm a little bitter about the amount of attention this movie got versus Moulin Rouge, it *is* a good film. Well-done. Rating: ****
"CHICKEN RUN" (G; 2000) Stars: the voice of Mel Gibson
I went and saw this with...5 kids, and my mother, so I would say I
have a pretty varied viewpoint to review it on. I know everybody is saying it's
a great family film, and yes, there are some cute parts. There is some great
interaction between Rocky and Ginger (still, I was desperately wondering HOW
exactly do chickens kiss? guess that's why they didn't show that part, huh...),
some cute one-liners. A lot of people say it offers something for every age,
but is still a kids flick, but there are a couple small things you will
probably find yourself hoping your kids DON'T catch on to. Still, it's an
England-set flick, and I'm a sucker for those. The best part about it is Rocky
(Mel Gibson does a good job), but he's actually not that well developed. All
the characters are very stereotyped. (Okay, so they're chickens, but still!) Oh
yah and since when do chicken have teeth? I admit that I was rather distracted
by the way the characters mouths moved, and I'm not really crazy about the clay-
mation deal. It was far from life-like. Anyway, all in all, not an outstanding
film, but it's okay if you're looking for a cutesy family film in a pinch. It's
not very lively, and the 8-year-old boy category could be bored with it. (Hey,
I was a little bored myself. My mom just thought it was silly.) There is a
rather dark scene in the beginning that could be too much for the youngest
kids. And as for it turning you off chicken, give me a break. Some people are
just too easily affected. (I'm gonna be sneaky and rate this one cause,
technically, it's NOT animation..lol) Rating: ***
"CHILDREN OF DUNE" (2003) Stars: Alec Newman, Julie Cox, Edward Atterton, Ian McNeice, Barbora Kodetová, Steven Berkoff, Daniela Amavia, P.H. Moriarty, James McAvoy, Jessica Brooks
I read Dune Messiah (this movie covers that book as well as CoD) and watched SciFi channel's 2000 version of Dune before I watched this miniseries. That might have *enhanced* my enjoyment, but I don't think the movie is confusing by itself. I love Alec Newman as Maud'Dib, and I adore the Leto II/Ghanima interaction. The special effects and visual imagery are stunning, of course. Technically I guess this miniseries isn't rated, but I'd definitely give it a PG-13. Rating: ****
"CHOCOLAT" (PG-13; 2000) Stars: Juliette Binoche, Johnny Depp, Judy Dench
I can happily say that this movie saved itself from "inspirational movie" status by it's own design. It's still not my favorite kind of movie, but I know a lot of people who generally have good taste in movies who absolutely love it, so I won't say something like "I don't know what all the fuss was about!" The acting is good, the chocolate looks ...scrumptious. (groan) If you love chocolate, are fanatic about Johnny, love Juliette, love Dame Judy, or love French-influenced movies, see it. Otherwise, you can find something else entertaining. Rating: ** 1/2
"THE CIDAR HOUSE RULES" (PG-13) Stars: Tobey Maguire, Michael Caine, Charlize Theron, Paul Rudd
Well, it was more interesting than I expected, but it's basically a big advertisement for abortion. And yet they somehow point out that they've got the wrong conclusion even as they promote it. (I know, it doesn't make sense, but not much does in the befuddled minds running around loose these days!) There's full female nudity from the back, sexual content, some mild violence and language. I didn't get very involved in any of the characters. Rating: **1/2
"CITY OF ANGELS" (PG-13) Stars: Meg Ryan, Nicholas Cage
This is one of those interesting movies with a topic I'm not so sure is
appropriate. (Although they do lay aside a lot of the modern myths about
angels.) There is a lot of sex in it and it's a pretty intense movie. It's
about an angel who falls in love with a human woman. Rating: ***
"CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER" (PG-13; 1994) Stars: Harrison Ford, William Dafoe
I hate watching movies like these, because there's just so little to say about them. This is so... cookie-cutter. Sure, the acting was fine (I'm really starting to like William Dafoe), the action sequences were.... well, they weren't anything special. I was hoping for something a little more exciting, to be honest. The only thing this movie has going for it is the very presence of Harrison Ford, but then, that's really nothing to scoff at, is it? Rating: **1/2
"CLEOPATRA" (ABC special movie) Stars: Billy Zane, Timothy Dalton
I've always liked the story of Cleopatra and I kind of like Billy Zane too, so
this movie wasn't too bad, but it was completely engrossed in sex-in fact,
this movie should be named "Cleopatra's Sex Life", so you should check out the
old "Cleopatra" with Elizabeth Taylor because she catches the spirit of the
Egyptian queen much better I think...but hey you might enjoy this movie! LOL
Rating: ***
"CLOCKSTOPPERS" (PG; 2002) Stars: Jesse Bradford
I surprise myself by liking any Nickelodeon movies, but they do actually tend to keep an excellent balance: yes, they've got the trendy pop music, troubled family lives, and teenage romance factors, but they don't preach like so many Disney movies, the plots can take some interesting and surprising turns, and they try to end things the way they should end (families together again, no sex, etc). So, anyway, this is another decent Nickelodeon family movie. There are a couple questionable moments', as well as the things I listed above. Rating: **1/2
"THE COMPUTER WORE TENNIS SHOES" (PG; 1995) Stars: Kirk Cameron ('Mike' from
"Growing Pains"! lol)
This is about a college student (Kirk..he really made it! lol BTW he has
shorter hair in this! lol) who gets zapped by electricity from a computer and
all the knowledge from the Internet gets zapped into his brain! lol He becomes
a pretty interesting person. Another family film, quite clean. Rating: ***
"THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO" (PG-13; 2002) Stars: Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, James Frain
Well, they *completely* changed the book's story. But this is a good movie. I especially appreciate that they kept the "God will give me justice" theme (including our young hero's time of disbelief and return to belief in that). I felt the villain Fernand became a bit of a caricature in the last half, but the acting was well done and I was particularly impressed by the change in appearance Jim Caviezel as Edmond went through -from naive sailor boy to ragged prisoner to pirate to count to man. There was implied sex, some violence (whipping, swords through the chest, etc). Rating: ***
"COYOTE UGLY" (PG-13; 2000) Stars: Maria Bello, Piper Perabo, Adam Garcia, Tyra Banks, John Goodman
This movie is REALLY fun to watch -the first time. The bar dance scenes are as sensational as they were reported to be, and the story is actually fairly interesting. The second time around, the less fun scenes are rather boring, but this is a very enjoyable movie. There was more to it than "half-naked women dancing around on a bar", too. Still, there is a lot of sensuality, and Piper Perabo shows quite a bit of skin. There is no "star power" in this movie, although Tyra Banks and Leanne Rimes do the equivalent of cameos. Rating: *** (a fun girl's nite movie)
"CROCODILE DUNDEE" and sequel (PG-13) Stars: Paul Hogan
Okay, it sounds stupid, but actually it's kind of cute. I don't know about the
rating...basically the only problems are language and a bad case of culture
clash (include depictions of cross-dressers and prostitutes). Rating: ***
"CROCODILE DUNDEE
2" (PG) Stars: Paul Hogan
This one's even cuter than the first if you ask me, and it's PG for language, violence, and sexual and
brief homosexual references. Rating: ***
"CROCODILE DUNDEE IN LA" (also known as "the third one") (PG; 2001) Stars: Paul Hogan
I guess for a last attempt with the popular (but ageing) character, this movie really isn't all that bad. There's this one part with a Wendy's that's pretty darn funny, but most of the rest is just a lot of recycled-from-the-last-two jokes and a little Hollywood satire. There's the usual prostitutes, homosexuals, drinking, light violence, and language. Plus, Mick and whatshername have a kid together but aren't married. Whatever. Rating: **1/2
"CROSSROADS" (PG-13; 2002) Stars: Britney Spears, Zoe Saldana, Taryn Manning, Anson Mount
If I was planning on making fun of Britney Spears' acting ability, I thought I'd better actually see her movie. Unfortunately, I foiled my own plan, because instead I was VERY reluctantly forced to like Britney in this movie. She can act, and the movie was not horrible. Nothing that special, either, but I was impressed by the balanced POV and the excellent way the characters were portrayed (no real "bad guys" here). The only thing I disliked about the movie was the singing. I'm sure she tried to stay in character, but Britney turned back into Britney when she was on stage. And I really dislike Britney's stage persona, so it made for a rather uncomfortable love her-hate her war in my head. Anyway. It's supposed to be a friend movie, but don't watch it that way unless you have "squeal-y" girlfriends and like that, okay? Rating: **1/2
"CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON aka Wo Hu Cang Long" (PG-13; 2000) Stars: Chow Yun-Fat, Michelle Yeoh, Chen Chang, Ziyi Zhang
Some spectacular special effects in this movie, of course. It's really quite beautiful and surreal. I had the English-dubbed version, which I got used to fairly quickly (it wasn't even hysterically funny or anything..it was actually very well-done). Anyway, other than saying it was an experience to watch, I didn't think it was that great of a movie. It moved very slow, and the only really interesting bit (best fighting there, too...very erotic) was the bandit/aristocrat romance, which was really a very small part of the story. Plus, I thought Yu Jen (the governor's daughter) was a stupid little coward with seriously bad judgement, but then maybe she was supposed to be that way. It did make for an ending that will linger in your mind. Basically, the only people who love this movie are people who adore the wind-in-your-hair, flying-over-rooftops, mystical warrior feeling that, well, can only be found in movies. Still, kudos to the storywriters for the spice of humour and sex. There's some violence (like, prolonged shots of this guy with some kind of sword-frisbee -think, Xena's whirly dohicky with sharp edges- stuck in his forehead..that was gross!) and pretty specific sexual implications. Rating: *** (maybe it'd be better the second time around, when you can just enjoy the scenery...)
"THE CUTTING EDGE" (PG) Stars: D.B. Sweeny, Moira Kelly
I like this movie! What a surprise! It's about a hockey player with an injury
and a figure skater with a temper. No, it's not exactly a sports movie. It's a
romance, the kind where they hate each other first. Fun, fun! There's sex and a
lot of bad language. Rating: ***
"DAREDEVIL" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, Michael Clarke Duncan
This movie immediately shot straight to the top of my "best superhero movies" list. I first must honestly say that though I'm a superhero fan *in general*, I've never had a real connection to Daredevil (or indeed most Marvel characters) in specific. That said, I appreciate and enjoy both Daredevil & Elektra and have recently read some of their printed material. The characters in this movie are an amazing blend of the comic book and a deeper, 3D version. You can see that particularly by the attention to detail- the exact copper shade of Matt Murdock's hair, both as a boy and as the man. The Italian look Jennifer Garner wears: bright green eyes, textured hair. These things bring the comic book characters to mind, and yet rather than going the cartoon-y, primary colored spandex way like Spider-Man did, this movie is rather dark. The hero is flawed in more than just description. The acting is great- I'm pleased to say this movie genuinely felt more like a *Daredevil* movie than a *Ben Affleck* movie. Michael Clarke Duncan is perfect as Kingpin (though his *is* a different take on the comic book part). Colin Farrell was surprisingly fun (not as annoying as he appeared in promo spots) as Bullseye. The special effects are great (must less CGI than Spider-Man), though a few of the fight scenes are slightly disorienting (at least they're original). The cameos are tasteful. Even the music is good. There is violence, some of it just skirting the low end of the PG-13 rating. There are some potentially disturbing themes. Like I said, this is not Spider-Man. For the adult comic-book fan, however, it's exactly what we've been waiting for. Rating: *****
"DEAR GOD" (PG; 1996) Stars: Greg Kinnear
Great movie. My family loves it, but there is some language, crime, and some
subtle sexual implications. It's about this con-artist who is forced
to work for the post office in the Dead Letters Department (with some extremely
eccentric co-workers) and, being very devious and clever of course, he starts
getting some ideas about all the letters they get addressed to "God". So maybe
it's not exactly "spiritually correct", it's still sweet and funny! Rating:
*** 1/2
"DEEP IMPACT" (PG-13, 1998) Stars: Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood, Leelee Sobieski
"Armageddon" imitation coming through! Yes, there are quite a few similarities
between these two movies, except of course that this one is much more hopeless.
And by the way, while they're supposedly showing how the people would respond
to their impending doom, where's all the ones that would be turning to God? I
think they missed something important there! Quite an ensemble
cast...sufficiently tragic to be a tear-jerker, but otherwise this movie is
pretty much a waste of time. Rating: ***
"DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN" (PG-13; 1985) Stars: Madonna, Rosanna Arquette, Aidan Quinn
Wow, Aidan Quinn was a hottie. And Madonna shoulda stopped while she was ahead, movie-wise. As an 80s-era movie, it's decent and fairly entertaining. Otherwise, nothing special. Rating: **
"DICK" (PG-13; 1999) Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Michelle Williams
These two girls play the "air-head blonde" to perfection. That's the best that
can be said about this movie. It's an interesting spin/spoof on the
Nixon/Watergate scandal, and it's not slapstick, but it can be funny. There are
some sexual implications and language. Rating: **
"DIE ANOTHER DAY" (PG-13; 2002) Stars: Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry
I really like this Bond movie. I like all of the Pierce Brosnan ones, but this just might be my favorite. Then again, it's hard to say because it's subtly *different* from the other ones. I don't want to ruin the surprises, this one honestly deserves to be watched unspoiled (though preconceived Bond expectations are part of the fun). Halle Berry is decent but Rosamund Pike as Miranda Frost (the other quasi Bond-girl) was more compelling. Rating: ****
"DOWN TO YOU" (PG-13) Stars: Freddie Prinz Jr, Julia Stiles
This movie wasn't a big hit, DESPITE the great actors in it (well, I like
Julia, but Freddie just has this dopey look...), for a reason. It's not a
really great story, and besides it's a flashback movie, with the 2 of them
narrarating, which kind of tips you off right away, doesn't it? My favorite
parts were when they were lip-sinking songs to each other, that was pretty
cute. Sadly, it wasn't worth watching the whole movie for. Rating: **1/2
"DRIVE ME CRAZY" (PG-13) Stars: Melissa Joan Hart, Adrian Grenier
Yep, another teen The-Prom-is-the-climax movie. Still, movies where the couple
pretends to have a relationship to make other people jealous and then end up
falling in love are always fun and this one does a good job of it. The end is
kind of abrupt, they were trying to keep it interesting even though anybody
would guess what was going to happen. It was a cute movie, did surprisingly
well with portraying high school characters, and had some great
parts. No sex. Rating: ***1/2
"DROP DEAD GORGEOUS" (PG-13; 1999) Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Allison Janney, Denise
Richards, Kirstie Alley, Ellen Barkin
This is a dark comedy, and if you like that kind of movie, this is a good one
for you. There are some laugh-out-loud parts, and some gross parts, and it's
quite unpredictable. While watching it, you can only hope they exagerated the
truth about beauty pageants at least a little! There are some sexual
implications, some language, and light-hearted killing. lol Rating: **
"DUNSTON CHECKS IN" (PG,1996) Stars: Jake Lloyd
For once, a kids' movie that really is a kids' movie! It does tend to push
animal rights a bit (you know, the whole "animals are people too" anthem) and
there's a touch of the violent-to-be-funny tendancy, but otherwise, it's a fun
and cute family film. Rating: **1/2
"EDtv" (PG-13; 1999) Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Jenna Elfman, Elizabeth
Hurley, Ellen DeGeneres (don't worry, she's a supporting character)
I thought this movie was a total "The Truman Show" copy-cat, but actually it's
got it's own plot. And it's quite realistic, with all these reality-shows that
we are seeing nowadays (gag! no offense to fans). Basically, this guy agrees to
be have his life be on live TV 24/7...and obviously, it starts to get in the
way of his relationships with other people...It's actually quite well-done. I
don't happen to like the actors in it, but it was a fairly interesting movie.
There's language and sex(not just implications, unfortunately; there's some
rather graphic scenes, as well as, ahem, several other allusions-to-the-
fact...). Rating: ***
"EMILY BRONTE'S 'WUTHERING HEIGHTS'" Stars: Juliette Binoche, Ralph Fiennes
I thought I'd throw this one in here. This is a really good version of
the story "Wuthering Heights" if you like the Brontes. (I better not comment on
my feelings for their writing efforts, although this book did manage to draw me
in a little.) They stuck to the story quite well. It was very well acted, very
dark,
sinister, and you certainly saw the tragedy in the making. Rating: **
"EMPIRE RECORDS" (PG-13; 1995)
Stars: Liv Tyler, Renee Zellweger, Ethan Embry, Robin Tunney...
This is probably a cult classic...but not all that interesting for those of us used to more than the "music store musical". It's about the affect of music (er, rock and roll?). There's drug use, sexual situations, language. Rating: ** 1/2
"ENTRAPMENT" (PG-13) Stars: Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Okay this is one of those movies where the bad guy (or..bad girl...) is the one
you're rooting for. There are lots of twists and turns in the plot and it's
quite interesting. Maybe not one you'd watch over and over again, but this is a
very well done movie. Not a real romance, considering the age difference
between the two leading characters, but still quite enjoyable. Rating: ***1/2
"ENOUGH" (PG-13; 2002) Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Billy Campbell
I like all of Jen Lopez' movies, and I'm not going to start saying "except for this one..." about Enough. As far as abusive-husband storylines go, this movie is more intelligent (and proactive) than, say, Julia Roberts' version. It's not some grand statement of theology, and there are a few plot threads I would question. The end was very interesting in it's moral ambiguity, or rather, the fact that the conclusion was morally ambiguous yet that the idea wasn't debated onscreen. There is language and violence. Rating: **1/2
"EVER AFTER" (PG; 1998) Stars: Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray
Scott
Okay, I admit I'm into more action movies now and this one isn't the first on my list of faves, but this is still a great movie. Very
clean, has star power, middle ages (if you like that), and a good rating. If
you've heard it's PG-13 it's officially NOT and it never deserved it, by the
way! My family (quite conservative) loves this movie too! It's an updated
version of the fairy tale "Cinderella" --without the fairy godmother. And don't
listen to anybody who says it's feminist 'cause it's really not. See it! Rating: ***** (You coulda guessed, right?)
"THE FACE ON THE MILKCARTON" (PG) Stars: Kellie Martin
Well, I like Kellie Martin, so I like this movie. It's about this girl who starts to question her life -all 16
years of it- when she sees what she thinks is a picture of herself as a little
girl on a missing person ad on a milkcarton. And I'm not going to tell you
anymore than that! It's a pretty clean movie, besides the thematic elements. I
read the book (series of 4 actually) it was based on, too, and they left out some interesting parts,
but it's still very thought-provoking.
Rating: ***
"THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS" (PG-13; 2001) Stars: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez
This is just a COOL movie, and besides that, it's worth seeing just for the combo of Paul Walker (adorable) and Vin Diesel (hot). There's eye-candy for everyone here, and it helps if you like fast cars (who doesn't?). This movie makes me want to go be a street racer (ha! the girl who doesn't drive!), I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing... The plot's not the strong point of this movie, but they keep the energy high enough that it really doesn't matter, and that's what makes it a "guilty pleasure". There's sex and violence and language. Rating: ***
"2 FAST 2 FURIOUS" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Eva Mendes
Hard to list a title like that, but this movie just rests on the laurels of the original, so it belongs in it's shadow. The first movie "clicked" for a number of reasons, but this one only has one of those going for it: the fast cars, the drag racing. Mostly it siphons off the fun of the first film. Forget it. Rating: **
"FAR AND AWAY" (PG-13) Stars: Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman
Until the end of this movie, I was going with the opinion that it was "just
alright", but the end managed to totally shock me, which was fun, so on that
basis alone I would recommend this movie. There are some cute parts (and
speaking of cute, Tom looks pretty good in it, but SHE doesn't...), but nothing
magnificent. There's some partial nudity, language, a few sexual implications,
and lots of blood (several boxing matches). Rating: **1/2
"FINDING NEMO" (animated; 2003) Stars: the voices of Ellen DeGeneres, a lot of other people...
It wasn't, actually, as funny as I expected. Though my family managed to find quotable quotes to use afterward. "Mine, mine, mine!" and "Hey hey hey." for instance. (No, I didn't guess that either.) If you really like animated movies, go for it. Otherwise, you'll be fine without it.
"FIRST KNIGHT" (PG-13)Stars: Richard Gere, Julia Ormond, Sean Connery
This is a really cool movie -another favorite. And guess what, it's from the
middle ages, too -right smack in King Arthur's Court. Guess what else, Richard
Gere is Lancelot. =) It's exciting, sweet, everything you could want in a
movie. There's an amazing kissing scene. The rating is for lots of bloody
battle scenes and some sexual content.
Rating: **** (Not for the squeamish)
"FLIPPER" (PG) Stars: Paul Hogan, Elijah Wood (teenaged)
A new Flipper! Yes, it is the dolphin, and yes he is friends with a kid (Elijah
Wood..he's so cute!) and yes he is threatened! It's a really cute movie. Some
mild
language I think. Rating: ***
"FOOLS RUSH IN" (PG-13) Stars: Matthew Perry, Selma Hayek
I LOVE this movie. It's so absolutely great. Matthew Perry is actually cute in it, as well as funny, and it's just a great love story. See it, and, that's all I can say about it! Sexual implications, language. Rating: *****
"FOREVER YOUNG" (PG) Stars: Mel Gibson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Elijah Wood (as a kid
but still cute!)
Mel Gibson has got some incredible eyes, doesn't he? Is that about all you need
to know to see this movie? It's about a test pilot who is put to sleep for like
50 years for an experiment. I still think the end is kind of bittersweet but it
IS a sweet movie. A moment of partial nudity (Mel's, ahem, bum), some mild
language. Rating:
****
"FORCES OF NATURE" (PG-13; 1999) Stars: Ben Affleck, Sandra Bullock, Maura
Tierney
I could sit and watch this movie just for the unique camera work alone. It's a
very unusual film, and that threw me off at least the first couple times I
watched it. By the fourth time, I had fallen in love. I choose to believe they
are making a statement about "commitment after the passion fades" rather
than "do what makes you happy now and you can get out of it later when you're
tired of it". Even though you wouldn't think the ending was right for
a "romance", it's exactly the way it should be. It's also pretty funny to watch
Ben Affleck play a "straight laced" character (he actually does it pretty well,
proving he can act, after all!). Sandra is an excellent "carefree gal", too.
There are loads of sexual implications and situations, as well as strip scenes
with homosexual elements and hookers, some language, and a scene of drug use.
Rating: ****
"FOR RICHER OR POORER" (PG-13) Stars: Kirstie Alley, Tim Allen
Okay, I like Kirstie Alley, so I decided to try out this movie. It's got it's
cute points, because the stars are both funny people, but basically this movie
just drags on for 2 hours about....I don't know what the point is supposed to
be! It's about this couple that has to hide out from the IRS in an Amish
community. The movie is very respectful to the Amish people, and I like the way
it ends, as well as the way they talk about how marriage is a commitment.
Rating: **1/2
"FREAKY FRIDAY" (PG; 2003) Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Harold Gould, Chad Michael Murray
This is a great remake. There are little references to the Jodie Foster movie that people who saw that one will get (particularly well done was the way it ended vs. the way the 1976 one did), but the story also stands on its own. Jamie Lee Curtis, who ordinarily I do not enjoy, was great while pretending to be a teenager in an adult's body. This is a fun, family film. Several parts had me laughing outloud. I would compare it to "What a Girl Wants" for the perfect blend of humour, character, and family-oriented theme. Rating: ***
"FREQUENCY" (PG-13; 2000) Stars: Dennis Quaid, Jim Caviezel
This is one of those very "interesting" movies. Not in a bad way. It kept my attention and all that, but it just wasn't all that "loveable". I think there might have been a few plot holes, but they weren't so major that they kept bothering me. See it if you were ever curious about it; otherwise, no great loss. Rating: ***
"GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE" (PG) Stars: Brendan Fraser
This movie is the most retarded movie I've ever seen. It's so stupid it's
funny, actually. It's got a few inappropriate moments, and George runs around
in a loin cloth but don't worry, nothing shows. LOL Rating: ** (I'll warn you
now..this isn't a good one to test out my ratings on! lol)
"GHOST" (PG-13) Stars: Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopie Goldberg
Okay, why is this movie considered such a great love story? I did NOT see that at all. Actually, there's quite a bit of violence and weird sci-fi type stuff in this movie. Plus, who ever said Demi Moore could act anyways? Needless to say, I did NOT see the charm of this flick. The best thing about it was absolutely Whoopie Goldberg, but she was playing a psychic (an ACTUAL psychic playing a fake psychic...just to warn ya) who could talk to the dead. Anyway, this film is completely miss-able. There's sexual content and, like I said, violence, plus the whole weird spiritual aspect that was totally messed up, to say the least. (I'm not sounding really objective here, am I..sorry!) Rating: **1/2
"GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS" (PG-13; ) Stars: Nicolas Cage, Giovanni Ribisi,
Angelina Jolie
I liked this movie. You might say it was more action than plot, but there was
an actual story in there. There were some fun car chase scenes, some very cute
lines, and then you'll find some language and light sexual implications but no
scenes. I would have liked to have seen more of Angelina in this flick, but oh
well! Rating: ***
"GREASE" (PG) Stars: John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John
This is one of my favorite musicals (and I don't like musicals)! Great music,
John Travolta, John Travolta, oh and John Travolta! (When he was cute. lol)
Basically, this movie is advertising teen sex, and the wholesome girl ends up
changing her ways for the worse in the end but hey you might enjoy it! (And you
can try the rockin' soundtrack too.) Rating: ****
"THE GREAT GATSBY" (PG) Stars: Robert Redford
Boring! What more can I say? Strange, annoying, but most of all, boring. BUT, they stuck to the book quite a bit. (oops, gave myself away, didn't I?) Hey, it's a classic. The book, not the movie. And I don't like Robert Redford. I admit the movie has to be really good for me to get past him being in it. Rating: *
"THE GRINCH" (PG; 2000) Stars: Jim Carrey, Taylor Momsen, Molly Shannon,
Anthony Hopkins narrates
Wow, the kids I was with didn't sit still once during this movie! They never
had a chance. It just kept going and going. Ron Howard is, of course, an
excellent director, and Jim Carrey was a great Grinch, but nobody doubted that
for a minute, did they? There were a couple scenes with some brief innuendo,
but I wasn't really squirming about anything the children I had brought were
seeing. My favorite part was the surprisingly biting satire (which will go over
most of the kids heads, of course) which was stuck in unexpectedly, mostly in
the form of one-liners, at brief and opportune moments. I didn't really like this movie when I first saw it, but by the second time I could see how it immediately achieved 'classic' status. There are some great repeatable lines in there. Also, in comparing it to the
short animated version, I can only say, try to watch that first! I hadn't even
seen it before hand (well, if I had, it hadn't been for years) and it would
have been VERY helpful. lol Rating: ***
"HEAD OVER HEELS" (PG-13; 2001) Stars: Monica Potter, Freddie Prinz Jr.
This is definitely the best thing I've seen Freddie in. I don't know why nobody went to it; I thought it was hilarious. Although, okay, certain bathroom scenes were NOT the highlight (they were quite funny though..). Anyway, it's a sappy love flick, but it's also a little slapstick, plus there's a couple action scenes and some satire thrown in for fun! Sound good? Okay, so see it! There's sexual innuendo and the usual... Rating: ***
"HERE ON EARTH" (PG-13; 2000) Stars: Chris Klein, Leelee Sobieski, Josh Hartnett
What can I say, it was even WORSE than I would have thought. Apparently Leelee Sobieski can't act after all, or at least she is NOT suited for a romantic leading lady role. She was sure trying hard, though! All the actors were dreadful, but the storyline was absolutely atrocious. I can't think of a single reason to watch this movie.
Rating: *
"HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Harrison Ford, Josh Hartnett, Lena Olin
I love Lena Olin, and she's great in this-though she has a strange as well as small part, it gives her a chance to be Sex Walking. There was also a certain part that had me laughing on the floor (Harrison Ford. Little girl bicycle.) and that pretty much made the movie worth watching. Josh Hartnett was forgettable. It is, however, an odd film. Yet another of those flicks that is nothing at all like it's trailer. There's some pretty strong violence, language, and sexual content. Rating: **
"HOOK" (1991; PG) Stars: Robin Williams, Julia
Roberts (she's Tinkerbell!)
Well, this movie is like about what happened to Peter Pan when he actually DID
grow up (wow huh). It's pretty cool, actually, but it's with real people and
that makes it a little weird. Of course, nobody expects it to be realistic,
right? lol Of course, I always thought Peter Pan and Tinkerbell should be
together, but...sigh...I can't always have what I want! Nothing really bad in
this movie, except maybe the rude Lost Boys (they aren't that bad). Rating: ** 1/2
"HOME FRIES" (PG-13) Stars: Luke Wilson, Drew Barrymore
This is a bizarre movie. But then I think that's what everyone heard about it, and that's why nobody saw it. It's one of those "black comedy" movies that are rare and underappreciated (and with good reason). It takes a Wilson or Barrymore fan or someone with a developed taste to really enjoy this one. There's all kinds of murderous acts, adulterous behavior, even a little incest-type thing going on in here, plus language. Rating: **
"HOPE FLOATS" (PG-13) Stars: Sandra Bullock, Harry Connick Jr.
This was a good movie, maybe a little boring..it's been described as a movie
about a woman's mid-life crisis. It is actually about a woman who's husband
dumps her on national television, so she takes her daughter and moves back to
her hometown, where she meets up with her ugly (sorry...he is!) ex-highschool
sweetheart. If you
ask me, this didn't deserve the PG-13 rating. There is a suggestion of a sexual
situation but that's about all I recall. Rating: ***
"HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey
Kate Hudson is very cute and somehow manages to put a fresh face on the old romantic comedy formula. This is no epic romance, but the actors are cute and it's fairly entertaining. There's a lot of language and sexual innuendo. Rating: ***
"HOWARD'S END" (PG) Stars: Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson, Helena Bonham Carter
I can't imagine why this pathetic excuse for a Jane Austen rip-off script attracted actors like Hopkins and Thompson. It was boring and long. Rating: *
"HUSH" (PG-13; 1998) Stars: Jessica Lange, Gwyenth Paltrow
I don't know why Jessica Lange has never been so much as a blip on my Hollywood radar; she seems to be a remarkable actress, at least so far as I can tell from this movie. As for the movie itself, unless you love "psychological thrillers" or fear and loathe your mother-in-law, it's not all that remarkable. Although, Gwyenth also gives one of her better performances (but then, I haven't seen a whole lot more exciting to compare it to). There's violence, sexual content, language. Rating: **
"I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS" (PG; 1998) Stars: Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Jessica
Biel
Yep, it's a Christmas movie! They like saved this movie for an entire year just
so it could be in the theaters for Christmas one year and be out on video for
Christmas the next. And I waited that whole time to see it! lol My family
thought this movie was cute. If you like JTT, go ahead and see it. It's quite
clean, has a fairly over-used but decent "moral of the story". It's about this
self-centered college kid that ends up travelling cross-country to get home (on
a bribe) because some "friends" from college dumped him in the dessert with a
Santa Claus suit on and a beard glued to his face (literally). If you're
wanting a light Christmas movie, you can't go wrong. Rating: ***
"I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU NOT" (PG-13) Stars: Claire Danes, Jude Law
Very, very strange movie. I guess it was one of those strange and boring "coming of age" films in it's purest, most convoluted form. The only thing it has going for it is that Jude Law is a cutie in it! Still, even he doesn't make it worth watching! Rating: *
"I LOVE TROUBLE" (PG) Stars: Julia Roberts, Nick Nolte
Okay, I guess SOME people don't like this movie, but I did. But I'm a sucker
for reporter movies! And I like Julia Roberts. These two are competing
journalists that end up working together. It's kind of corny, but, well, it's
Julia Roberts! It was a cute movie....I THOUGHT! Rating: ***
"THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST" (2002; PG) Stars: Colin Firth, Rupert Everett, Reese Witherspoon, Judi Dench, Frances O'Connor
With a cast like that, you'd really think they'd make the wit in this play sparkle. Sadly, they don't bring anything more to the roles than what was written on the page. If you liked the play, have fun with watching this. Otherwise, it's rather boring. Rating: **
"INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE" (1989; PG-13) Stars: Harrison Ford
This is another good Indy Jones movie! I liked it a lot. The second one,
"...and the Temple of Doom" was way too violent for me, and not as good as
these two. Indy is on another Biblical adventure in this one, this time looking
for the Holy Grail. It's quite a bit cornier than "Raiders..." but still cute
and full of adventure. There is some violence and sexual overtones and
implications. Rating: *** 1/2 (you know the drill..if you like Indiana or
Harrison...)
"INSPECTOR GADGET" (1999; PG) Stars: Matthew Broderick, Joely Fisher, Rupert
Everett, Michelle Trachtenberg
This is the most hyper movie I've ever had the misfortune of seeing. There are,
however, some cute moments, and my little brothers LOVE it, so although you may
feel the need for a sugar fast after you watch it, it's not bad kid fare. You
will find plenty of the stupid-to-be-funny philosophy, but that's a given,
isn't it? Any violence is cartoon-like. Rating: ** 1/2
"THE ITALIAN JOB" (PG-13; 2003) Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward Norton, Seth Green, Donald Sutherland
It's a decent chase movie. Surprisingly, I liked Charlize Theron in it -or at least she didn't annoy me the way she often does. Seth Green was under-used, as usual. Mark Wahlberg had...nice clothes? Edward Norton is better than this. And I'm guessing the original movie was probably more classy. Whatever. Fast cars, not sappy. Rating: **
"IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU" (PG) Stars: Nicholas Cage, Bridget Fonda
This is a cute movie. This really honorable cop offhandedly promises to split
his lotto ticket with a waitress as a tip and then he and his wife actually
win. I thought it faltered a little towards the end, but it ended sweet. These
two are cute together (although I don't really like Nicholas Cage OR Bridget
Fonda)
and you'll probably like it if you like romance flicks. Rating: ***
"IT TAKES TWO" (PG) Stars: the Olsen twins, Steve Guttenberg, Kirstie Alley
Well, face it, the Olsens twins movies all seem to have a little bit in common,
but the ones that actually have a plot can be kind of cute. This one is like my
favorite, but then, well I like Kirstie Alley. It's kind of a copy of
"The Parent Trap" but it follows that story very loosely. But get this, the
twin sisters aren't even supposed to be related in this movie. A tad hard to go
for, right? Well it's still pretty cool. Rating: ***
Go to J-P or R-Z
And here's the rating system I'm using:
***** Worth seeing in the theatre. Not that I'll mind if you don't see it in the theatre. I don't see half of the ones worth the money in the theatre myself. I'm so frugal..
**** If you're a movielover or even a movie liker, you'll wanna check out this movie. Plan to get it the day it hits video.
*** Average. (You'll see a lot with this rating.) You might like it, you might not, depends on your taste. If you're bored, need some movies, you shouldn't be too disappointed by one with this rating.
** If you're so sure I don't know what I'm talking about, at least wait 'til it's on a movie channel to see one with this rating.
* If you like crappy movies, don't miss it. (There are more on the page with this rating now that I've started rating them on these guidelines, with the monetary worth in mind.)
If you're looking for R rated movies, I did finally start a small page for some R movies I've seen here.
I never put up reviews of movies I've only seen the edited version of, just to be sure I don't recommend something that has really bad stuff I don't know about in it. That does rule out ALL the movies I've seen on TV, so it's a bummer, but I like to be careful. Also, in case you haven't already figured it out, I don't rate animated movies!
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