To start off, what is your name, please?
Miaka; Yuuki Miaka desu!
Okay, I'm just going to ask you some completely irrelevant questions because, quite simply, The Fans Want to Know. Now then, What is your favorite food?
Miaka; I'll eat pretty much anything!
Nuriko; She's not kidding.
O-kay. What is your favorite animal?
Miaka; um... Tama?
Tamahome; Nani?! ~blush~ Miakaaa... I don't think they mean...
Miaka; Tamaneko! silly.
~ahem~ Alright Miaka, The Fans Want to Know who do you really like better? Tamahome or Hotohori?
Miaka; Ano... that's a mean question. But I'd have to say... Tamahome.
Hotohori; Oh! My heart!
Nuriko; Horisama! Miaka! How could you?!
Miaka; I'm sorry!
Tamahome; ~grins~
If the fate of the worlds wasn't resting on your shoulders, what would you want to wish for from Suzaku?
Miaka; um... food.
What are your hobbies?
Miaka; Food.
What do you like to do in your spare time?
Miaka; Eat
Uh...
Miaka; and kiss Tamahome, I guess...
Tamahome; I'm second to food! How did I fall for such a glutton?
On that note we'll move on to you, Tamahome. Your full name, please?
Tamahome; Tamahome desu.
What is your favorite food?
Miaka; Yes! Say what it is and I will cook it for you!
Tamahome; uh... pass...
What are your hobbies?
Tamahome; making money, and shouting Miaka's name, and thinking about Miaka... and hugging Miaka... and...
Uh, we get the point. Were you ever worried that Hotohori would steal Miaka's heart from you?
Hotohori; naturally, he worried that his beauty would not stand up to mine.
Tamahome; Nope, not really.
What was it like when Nuriko kissed you?
Tamahome; uh... pass
Nuriko; hah?! How dare you?! ~slams table into interviewer's face~
~struggles to get up~ Uh, hmm, I guess we'll move on to you, Nuriko. Name please?
Nuriko; Nuriko desu!
Chichiri; He's gay, no da!
Nuriko; ~takes a swipe at Chichiri, who disappears into his kasa~
We'll just get this over with. Which do you prefur, being a guy or a girl?
Nuriko; Girl. I get to wear pretty dresses, and have my hair done up, and I look so pretty! If I were a real girl I could make my darling Horisama forget all about the heartless little Suzaku no Miko!
Miaka; I'm heartless?
Nuriko; Yes! You broke his heart!
Tamahome; I thought you thought Miaka and I made a good couple.
Nuriko; Yes, but at too great a cost!
Speaking of which. Now that you have no chance with Hotohori--
Nuriko; ~sob~
--are you and Tasuki an item?
Miaka; Nani? Tasuki?!
Tamahome; a-a-a-a-an-n-n-nd... Nuri?
Nuriko; Um... no, I don't think that's happening.
Hotohori; Why not? I think you two work well together.
Nuriko; You do? But... But... I still love YOU!!
Hotohori; As emperor of Konan I must wed if only to produce an heir. Can You do that for me, Nuriko?
Nuriko; Modern science can do wonders these days.
Miaka; Um... that's MY world, not yours.
Nuriko; Damn.
Chichiri; Tasuki is not gay no da!
Nuriko; ~slams Chichiri into the ground~
Back to the interview, what are your hobbies?
Nuriko; Horisama.
Tamahome; and cross-dressing!
Nuriko; ~slams Tamahome into the ground~
What do you think would have happened to you if your sister had never died?
Nuriko; hmm... I guess I would have stayed a guy. Who knows?
Chichiri; That's an interesting question, no da! Perhaps there would not be so much speculation then, no da!
Nuriko; When did you wake up?
Ah, Chichiri! We'll interview you, next! What is your name?
Chichiri; You just said it, no da!
Just for posterity, k?
Chichiri; Chichiri desu no da!
How do you do that neat thing with your kasa?
Chichiri; magic no da!
Miaka; I can't do it.
Tamahome; We saw that.
Now, you met Miaka under very interesting circumstances.
Chichiri; Interesting, no da? she bit my hand no da!
Miaka; You abducted me!
Chichiri; I saved you, no da!
Nuriko; and nearly got me killed in the process!
So, you knew you were a Suzaku seishi?
Chichiri; Hai no da!
How many of those masks do you have?
Chichiri; As many as I need, no da!
Why do you keep saying no da?
Chichiri; ~shrug~
We have two more people to interview. Hotohori, and Yui. Who would like to go first?
Hotohori; Go ahead Yui.
Yui; No, you go first, your highness.
Hotohori; okay.
Name please, and don't be a smart-ass like Chichiri.
Chichiri; That is no way to talk to the Emperor, no da!
Hotohori; Hotohori desu.
Are you really as vain as you seem?
Hotohori; Well, look at me. Wouldn't you be?
I guess so. You are gorgeous. Now then, do you like being emperor of Konan?
Hotohori; Not really. But I like the clothes.
If Nuriko was a real girl would you marry him er... her?
Hotohori; erm... I suppose so...
Nuriko; ~glomp~ Oh! You've made me SO Happy!!
Miaka; Aww...
Wouldn't you worry that Nuriko might rival your looks?
Hotohori; ~looks shocked~ How could any compare to beauty such as mine?
... On to Yui! Your name, please?
Yui; Hongo Yui desu.
Favorite Food?
Yui; Whatever's left after Miaka gets to it.
Miaka; Hey!
Speaking of Miaka, what does it feel like to be the enemy of your best friend?
Yui; sometimes weird. Sometimes not.
Miaka; Sometimes!!
So, Yui, what do you have to say to those who would call you a, um, 'bitch'?
Yui; What?!
Everyone else; Next Question! NEXT QUESTION!!
Um, I mean, if you were a dog, which kind would you be?
Yui; A wolf.
Tamahome; But then Nakago would whip you and... never mind...
Miaka; ~looks appalled~ Yui!
Yui; Not like that!
That's all the time we have for, folks. Stay tuned next week when we interview Tasuki, Nakago, Soi, Suboshi, and, because The Fans Want to Know Tamaneko!
Tamahome; What?! The CAT gets an interview?!
Thank you, and good night.
[It's amazing the things I come up with when I'm bored. But it's funny, I guess. Hm... I wonder what a Slayers Next interview would be like?]
[Written by Inseiko, 2000]