Good evening everyone, and welcome to The Fans Want to Know the
show where we interview the members of your, the fans, favorite characters
from your favorite series. Now, tonight we were going to continue with
the Fushigi Yuugi characters, but I'm afraid that Tasuki set Soi's hair
on fire and so Nakago attacked him and Tamaneko had to be taken to the
vet because Tamahome had attempted feeding him to a dog named 'Buddy' and
it all went from there. But, don't worry, friends! The show must go on
and we have here from the famed Gundam Wing series, recently dubbed, Hiiro
Yui, Duo Maxwell, Quatre Winner, Trowa Barton, and Zechs Marquis! ~waits
patiently for roaring audience to calm down~
Audience Member: Where's Wufei?!
Um... he said he had to take Nataku to the car wash.
Duo; Yeah! He's taking Major Sally out on a date!
Audience Member: Oh...
Let's get started! So, your full name, please.
Hiiro; Yui Hiiro desu.
Any relation to Hongo Yui in Fushigi Yuugi?
Hiiro; No.
You're not an emotional guy, are you?
Duo; There's the understatement of the year!
Hiiro; ~glares~
Duo; Then again, there is Rilina!
Rilina?
Hiiro; Shut up, Duo.
Duo; yeah! He wants Rilina! You should see him around her! It's so kawaii!
Quatre; I haven't noticed any changes in Hiiro around Rilina...
Duo; ... It's a subtlety thing!
Trowa; Duo's just jealous that Rilina gets more attention from Hiiro than him.
Duo; Heeey! That's only in fanfiction guys!
I dunno, Duo, they must get their ideas somewhere.
Duo; What is this?! You're the interviewer, you're not supposed to buy into this!
I never said I was an impartial interviewer.
Hiiro; Are we finished?
Might as well be. Duo! Full name please.
Duo; Oh, so you just move right on to me, can't help yourself from picking on poor little me.
Name. Please.
Duo; Maxwell Duo desu! and no, I do not have a crush on Hiiro! I don't go for Yaoi, doomoarigatogozaimasu!
I know that, Duokun! We all know you love your Gundam.
Duo; ~jaw drops~ Excuse me?!
Hiiro; Have you ever listened to yourself when it even gets a scratch?
Duo: So I'm a little crazy about keeping Deathscythe in good condition, is that so wrong? At least I take care of my Gundam, not like a certain someone who does minimal repairs, and steals parts might I add, and seems to have an affinity for destroying his Mobile Suit?
Hiiro; Shut up, Duo.
Quatre; Don't worry, Duokun! We won't judge, I'm sure there's a psychological term for this somewhere...
Duo; Shut up, Quatre! Omae o korosu!
Trowa; That's Hiiro's line.
Quatre; ~laughs~
It was easier to hold things together with the Fushigi Yuugi people.
Hiiro; You got a problem?
I'm merely pointing out that you boys are nuts. You've hardly stayed on topic this whole time! I'm moving on. Quatre, you're turn! Full name please.
Quatre; Quatre Rababa Winner* desu. Doozo yoroshiku.
Ah, thank you. Nice to meet you too. You're very polite, aren't you?
Quatre; Yes, I suppose. I think it's proper to always be nice to others.
Duo; Yeah, until he goes crazy and on a killing rampage.
Quatre; That wasn't my fault!
~tries to contain herself~ I understand you have a large family.
Quatre; yes! I have twenty-nine sisters. No brothers. I kinda like to think of the other Gundam pilots as my brothers!
Must be hard to keep your sisters in mind. How do you keep track of them?
Quatre; I'm afraid I don't. I've never met a lot of them. Someday I'd like to hold a family reunion.
That'll be quite the party.
Duo; Any single sisters around your age, Quatre?
Quatre; Maybe... why do you ask?
Duo; Um... Trowa's lonely.
Trowa; What?
Duo; Yeah, so's Zechs.
Zechs; ~blink~
Duo; Hey, narrator, you're single, aren't ya?
Uh... let's move on to Trowa. Full name, for the record?
Duo; yeah, she's single!
~sigh~
Trowa; Barton Trowa desu.
What gave you the idea to infiltrate Oz?
Trowa; Seemed like a good way to get around without being noticed. Hiding in plain sight.
How do you get your hair to do that?
Trowa; I won a lifetime supply of hair gel in a contest once before I became a Gundam pilot.
What are your relations with Kathrine?
Trowa; Kathrine? She's nice... ~blush~ I'd like to see her again when I get back to the Earth.
Duo; Oooh, Trowa's got a girlfriend!
Quatre; Duokun, please.
Hiiro; Shut up.
Duo; Is that all you can ever say to me?
Oi. Is it time for a commercial yet? No? Damn. Well, I have on last question for you Trowa, then we can move on to Zechs and get this wrapped up.
Duo; What's your problem? Aren't you enjoying sitting around with a bunch of handsome gentlemen like us?
Duokun, you are far from a gentleman.
Hiiro; Maybe that's why he can't get a girl.
Duo; Hey! I got plenty of ladies lined up!
Hiiro; That's why all the fanfiction puts you with me, right?
Duo; When did you grow a sense of humor?! You wanna take this outside? My Gundam could kick your Gundam's ass any day of the week!
Hiiro; You're on.
Duo; Okay, let's go!
Hiiro; Omae o korosu**
~watches as the two pilots leave~ Um... ~forces a smile~ Zechs! We'll interview you quickly and then get out of here before something unpleasant happens! Full name please!
Zechs; Peacecraft Miliardo desu. While working for Oz I went under the name Marquis Zechs.
Where did you get the nickname, 'The Lightning Count'?
Zechs; I'm not sure, exactly. I suspect that it was Noin.
Ah yes, what are your relations with Noin?
Zechs; We knew each other in training. We were the top students ever. She was always trying to be second so that I'd look good.
Yes, yes, we all know that. But what are your relations with Lieutenant Noin?
Zechs; Uh... pass.
C'mon, The Fans Want to Know...
Zechs; It's whatever you want to infer from it.
Quatre; Noinsan told us that it all started one night when you two got drunk at school and she asked you to take off your mask...
Zechs; That is not something she should be telling you!
Quatre; We were playing Truth-or-Dare! Duokun asked her! It was Strip-Truth-or-Dare, so she had to tell or lose her shirt! She said that she'd rather tell the truth than expose our young minds to the female body before we were old enough!
Where does that boy get this stuff?
Trowa; We've been trying to figure that out for a very long time.
== Sounds of explosions etc. are heard outside ==
O...kay. I have one more question for you Zechs. Um... what do you plan to be Treize's fate when Oz is defeated? Will you be able to kill your best friend? Or will you allow him to live?
Zechs; ... that is a very hard question. Provided we win the war, we'll just have to see how things play out. It's the Romafellor Foundation that's the real enemy, not Treize, or even Lady Une.
Thank you. That's all the time we have for this week. Be here again next time when hopefully we'll be able to keep Tasuki under control long enough to not have to call in more of Gundam Wing's cast.
Quatre; We're not all insane, really... um... hold on, I'll think of someone...
I wish you luck. As it is, I think it's safer if you think somewhere outside of the range of Duokun and Hiirokun's battle zone. See you next time, folks, on The Fans Want to Know!
[*I'm not sure if it would be Rababa Winner Quatre desu, or Winner Quatre
Rababa desu. If someone can tell me, that would be helpful!
** I had to have that line SOMEwhere]
[Written by, you guessed it, Inseiko, 2000]