Success!! I finally did it, Fans! I finally kept Tasuki under
control long enough to get this interview going!!! ~cheers~ Of course,
that control involved ambushing him with Nuriko and chaining him to a folding
metal chair in such a fashion so that any movement he makes collapses the
chair in on him. That, and we gagged him. Afterall, there are young children
watching. It got a little kinky though when Soi stole Nakago's whip and...
uh... ahem. Anyway! They're all here, ready to be interviewed, and as a
special bonus, Tomo tagged along for the ride!
Audience Member; You call THAT a special bonus?!
~eyes audience~ Who is that?
Nakago; ~peers into audience~ If I hear one more word you'll find yourself in--
Language, please!
Nakago; ~glares~ -- the NEXT DIMENSION! Are you happy?
~sweatdrop~ Not really.
Soi; O.O No one told me this was an OOC fic!
... I don't know enough about Nakago to write him IN Character. Deal with it.
Soi; ~pouts~
Tasuki; ~through gag~ mmmph! mm-mm-mmmmm-m-m-mmmpff
We'll get to you in a moment Tasu! Wait a minute! Where's Tamaneko?
Tomo; He's still in makeup.
Soi; You took too long again, didn't you?
Tomo; ~glowers~
Soi; Well, you still look dumb.
Nakago; ~looks at Tomo seductively~ I think he looks magnificent
Tasuki; ~looks queasy~
~blink~ I... uh... I... uh... let's get started!! Nakago! Name please!
Nakago; Why bother when you just said it?
Soi; He has a point
Naturally, you would think so. Fine! Next question. How do you do that ki thing?
Nakago; I was a Saiyajin in a past life.
That makes.... some sense. Why do you whip Ashitare?
Nakago; Because I had a bad childhood and therefore do not know how to properly treat animals or people, and he's both, so he's doubly screwed.
Soi; Wai! You treat me well!
Tomo; Pay no attention to her.
... Unfortunately I have to. Could you please tell me your name, purple haired Seiryuu senshi type woman.
Soi; ~glowers~ Soi desu.
Tasuki; ~laughs through gag a little too much, thus making the chair collapse and falls to the floor in a tangled mess~
Whoops! Oh, Nuriko!
Nuriko; ~runs in, sets Tasuki back up, gives him quick kiss on cheek that turns the fiery haired warrior to the colour of a ripe tomato, shoots a peace sign to the cheering audience and runs off~
Thank you! Now, Soichan. Are you really as gone on Nakago as you seem to be?
Soi; Does the word, duh, mean anything to you?
Uh, I think you're a little OOC right now.
Soi; When in rome...
You bet! Isn't it fun?
Soi; Yeah... kinda... uh! I mean, NO!! It's despicable!!
Okay, on to the big question and then we'll question Tomo... wait a minute! Where's Suboshi? He was SUPPOSED to be here!!
Nakago; He's out back making out with Yui.
Soi; I thought it was Koneko in a Yui costume?
Tomo; Threesome?
~looks faintly green~
Nakago; Maybe...
Tomo; hmm...
Soi; kinky
I had a question... now what was it? Oh! Soichan! Did you and Tamahome go all the way that one time when you made him think you were Miaka?
Soi; Define all the way!
Tasuki; O.O
Never.... mind... Tomo! Name please!
Tomo; ~blink~ Why?
I think I need a raise. Or a drink. Either one would be preferable. Okay, Tomo, um... how long does it take you to do your makeup in the morning?
Tomo; three and a half hours. Sometimes four.
Have you ever really been in a Kabuki play?
Tomo; yes.
What do you look like under all that makeup? Why do you wear it?
Tomo; I look like Zagato, and Princess Emeraude kept hitting on me when she got drunk, so...
Uh... what?
Tomo; I was Cephirian in a past life.
Did all of you belong to other series in past lives?
Nakago; Yes. Suboshi and Amiboshi used to be Sailormars' crows.
This is just getting too weird.
Tasuki; ~nods, then stops and eyes the chair suspiciously. Nothing happens, so he relaxes~
Nakago; ~looking the other way, proceeds to kick Tasuki's chair, and the Suzaku seishi goes sprawling~
Hey! Nakago! That wasn't very nice!
Nakago; I know.
Man, where's Tamaneko? He's the whole reason we're holding this interv-- uhhh....
All; ~glare~
Audience; ~cheers uncontrollably as HE walks onstage~
Tamaneko!!!
Nakago; All in favor of killing the cat....?
Soi and Tomo; ~raise hands into air~ HAI!!
Tasuki; ~from floor~ mmm!
Tamaneko; ~takes seat, sporting a cool pair of shades~ Meow.
Suboshi; ~wanders in and sits down heavily~ That... was... great!
~blink~
All; ~blink~
Hi... Suboshi... Nice of you to stop by. Where were you?
Nakago; I told you...
Suboshi; You did?! How could you!
Nakago; Silence, boy.
Suboshi; um... why is Tasuki on the ground tangled in chains and a metal chair?
Whoops!
Tasuki; ~shakes head frantically~
Suboshi; I think he's trying to say something! ~removes Tasuki's gag~
Tasuki; ==BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP==
Suboshi; Whoa!
Soi; You weren't supposed to take that off.
Suboshi; I can see why!
Tasuki; Could somebody BEEPing get me the BEEP up and out of this BEEPing chair?
umm... let me see.... uh... no. Gag him!
Tasuki; ==BEEEEEEE--P== ~is cut off as gag is stuffed back in his mouth~
Hey, Suboshi, answer my question.
Suboshi; What was it again?
Where were you?
Suboshi; Oh, that! Out back...
And what were you doing?
Soi; O.O You WANT him to answer? You get mad about swearing but not this?
The Fans Want to Know!
Audience; ~cheers~
Audience Member; Boo!
Who is that?
Nakago; I warned you! ~runs into audience in search of unknown member~
Soi; Wait for me! ~grabs whip~
Uh... Tamaneko! Tell us about yourself!
Tasuki; ~groans~
Tamaneko; mew, meow, meowmeow... ~continues on for the rest of the show~
Wow! That was very informative! Thank you!
Tamaneko; meow. ~shrugs~
There you have it folks! Tamaneko! I'm afraid that's all the time we have for right now. Come back next week when we interview Ash, Misty, Jesse, James, Hitmonlee, and... Nurse Joy from Pokémon. And! We'll execute one of those Pokemon right before your eyes! They've got over two hundred fifty of them now, I think they can stand to lose one! See ya! Don't look at me, You're the fans who demanded it!
[Guess what! Inseiko has writers block again, so she wrote this, 2000]