Good evening everyone! Welcome to The Fans Want to Know
the show where we--
Inu Yasha; Oh, shut UP!! You say that every time you start this off!!
Kagome; Inu Yasha!!
Inu Yasha; Well, it's true!
Shippou; Wow! Inu Yasha you watch this show too?!
Kagome; o.O Good point Shippou!
Inu Yasha; feh.
Anyway! Tonight on the show we have from Rumiko Takahashi's newest series, Inu Yasha, the title character, Kagome, Kikyou, Shippou, Miroku, Sango, and Sesshomaru!
Sango; What I'd like to know is just how they convinced Sesshomaru to come on the show at all!
Sesshomaru; She promised me an execution at the end of the show.
Kagome; WHO?
Kikyou; Preferably you!
Kagome; What?! Why I oughta!
Inu Yasha; Kagome! Sit!
Kagome; ~gives him weird look~ Um... that only works on you.
Inu Yasha; It was worth a shot
Miroku; You'd think that Interviewersama would know enough about this series to keep Inu Yasha in character.
Maa...! Inu Yasha! Please state your name for the record!
Inu Yasha; You just said it.
State your name Dammit!
Kagome; Hey! How come you can swear?!
That was a slip. If you'd keep your half-youkai under control...
Inu Yasha; HER half-youkai?! I'm not HER anything, hear me?!
Sesshomaru; Could have fooled me.
Inu Yasha; Don't you start!
Oi. I feel another Gundam Wing interview coming on...
Inu Yasha; I am NOTHING like those characters! I Am Sane!!
Kagome; as you would say, feh.
Shippou; Wow! Who would've pegged Inu Yasha as an anime fan?
Sango; The better question is, where in Feudal Japan does he see all this?
Kagome; Oh, that's easy. Every night when I'm sleeping he sneaks into my room and watches TV.
All; ...
Miroku; and that is all?
Kagome; ~hits him on the head~ Yes! That's all!
Where was I?
Kikyou; I believe you were interviewing Inu Yasha.
Right-o! Thanx Kikyou! Inu Yasha! Stop strangling Miroku and sit down.
Inu Yasha; ~releases Miroku's throat and sits in a huff~ What?
Um... um... I forgot the question.
Inu Yasha; Wonderful.
Oh! Now I remember! Inu Yasha, The Fans Want to Know, what are your true feelings about Kagome?
Inu Yasha; She's annoying as hell. I only keep her around so I can find the Shikon shards.
Sesshomaru; ~snort~
Inu Yasha; YOU SHUT UP!! =BEEEEEEEP=
Kagome; SIT!
Inu Yasha; ~slams into ground~ Aww... rrrgh...
I can see interviewing him is pointless. Kagome, let's move on to you. Full name please!
Kagome; Higurashi Kagome desu.
So, what are your true feelings for Inu Yasha, and be honest!
Kagome; ...
Inu Yasha; ~from floor~ Keep your mouth shut, Kagome!
Kagome; ~bursts into tears~ All I want is for you to love me, Inu Yasha!!! That's all!! Is that too much to ask?!
Inu Yasha; ~blink~
Kagome; ~sobbing into Shippou's sleeve~
Shippou; You're such a jerk, Inu Yasha! pbbbt!
Inu Yasha; Why I oughta!
Kikyou; ~smirk~ I told you you should have stuck with me, Inu Yasha.
Inu Yasha; You shut up!
Seeing as how Kagome's in hysterics, let's move on... ~considers interviewees~ Uh... Miroku!
Miroku; Miroku desu!
Uh... thanks. But actually, first I'd like to request you stop lifting Kagome's skirt for a peek and sit quietly.
Miroku; ah- heheheh.... sorry about that.
Sango; WHY YOU-- ~beats him with boomerang~
Jealous, are we, Sango?
Sango; ~bright red, stops beating Miroku and looks away~
Miroku; Thank you, Interviewersama! You are as quick-thinking as you are beautiful!
How can you justify being a preist when you're such a flirt and a lecher?
Miroku; ~taken aback~ I AM a man, afterall!
Sango; Not only is that debatable, but it can be fixed as well.
Miroku; You shut up!
So, uh, Miroku, what will you do when you get that black hole out of your hand?
Miroku; Go bar hopping with Nuriko! She's such a fox!
~blinks at Sango, who blinks at her~ I'm not going to tell him, are you?
Sango; I think he can find out for himself.
Miroku; What?
Nothing! We'll move on! Sango! Name please!
Sango; I can understand you saying that for people with last names. But isn't it redundant for the characters with only one name?
I suppose. But it's out of habit more than anything else.
Sango; Oh, okay then, Sango desu.
Where'd you get that huge boomerang?
Sango; I made it myself! ~proud~
Cool! Which of the guys in this series would you rather go out with?
Sango; Well, let's see... Inu Yasha and Kagome are certainly an item.... Miroku's a perv... Sesshomaru hates me... Jaken's a toad... Shippou's a child... Naraku's the... uh... you know... that killed my family... there really are no others... can I choose to stay single?
Everyone thinks you have the hots for Miroku!
Sango; WHAT?! ~pulls Boomerang and eyes audience~ Who says that?
Sesshomaru; Everyone.
Sango; ~pounds him into ground with boomerang~
Miroku; ~is positively glowing~
All right, all right. We'll drop it if you're going to get that violent! We'll move on, even. Shippou!
Shippou; Shippou desu!
Is it true you think of Kagome as a mother?
Shippou; Yes! And Inu Yasha as my fath-- ~is cut off as Inu Yasha pounds the little Kitsune into the ground~
Kagome; Ahh! Inu Yasha! Sit!
Inu Yasha; ~slams into ground next to Shippou~ =BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP= Kagome! =BEEEEEP= I'll-- =BEEEEEEEEEEEP=
Ahem. ANYway. We can't interview Shippou anymore, as he in unconcious. So, we'll move right along on to Kikyou! Name please!
Kikyou; Kikyou desu
How did it feel to be dead?
Kikyou; It was fine until I came back and found that witch with MY Inu Yasha!
Kagome; Hey!
How can you call her a witch? She's essentially you!
Kikyou; hmmph.
So, uh, Kikyou, what response to you have to accusations that you are an 'evil wench'?
Kikyou; they shall all die slow and painful deaths. I'll steal their souls and feed the male ones to my pets to make them stronger...
Sesshomaru; I like your style!
Kikyou; Shut up, you.
Sesshomaru; ~glares~ Damned mortal.
Kikyou; ~glares~ Damned youkai.
==Sparks begin to flare between the two==
Kagome; Wow! They remind me of Sango and Miroku!
Sango; Don't make me hurt you, Kagome.
... Okay! Last interview. The last thing I need is to have to clean up after another battle! You should have seen the damage Hiiro and Duo caused!
Miroku; I can only imagine.
Sesshomaru! I won't bother asking your name, don't worry. First question! What's up with Rin?
Sesshomaru; ~scowls~ What about her?
Never mind! Why do you keep Jaken around if he's so annoying?
Sesshomaru; I've advertised for a replacement, but no one seems to answer.
Oh. You poor thing. So! Do you really hate Inu Yasha as much as you seem to?
Sesshomaru; No.
Really?
Sesshomaru; I hate him more. I just don't show emotion very well.
You and Hiiro should get together for coffee or something.
Sesshomaru; Perhaps.
So, why do you keep your sword if all it does is heal people?
Sesshomaru; It was my fathers. I can't part with it even if I wanted to.
Gotcha! Well now! That's all the time we have for!
Sesshomaru; Hey! Wait a minute! Where's my execution?
I was just getting to that. Interviews are over! Execution begins now! Bring out the victem!
Sango; Please be Naraku! Please be Naraku!
Kagome; Please be Myoga! Please be Myoga!
Inu Yasha; Please be Kaede! Please be Kaede! ~sees look he's getting~ what?
==A young boy with a long brown braid and mischevious violet eyes bounds in carting Jaken, who is bound and gagged and looking very fearful==
Sesshomaru; Hm, now I really do need a replacement.
Go for it, Duokun!
Kagome; Ano... why are Hiiro and Duo doing these executions for you?
Payment for trashing my studio.
Kagome; I see.
Sango; But... where did Duo go?
You'll see.
==Suddenly the roof is lifted and there stands Deathscythe in all his glory. The gleaming Gundam Mobile Suit lifts one massive foot and brings it down on Jaken with a wet sounding squish==
Thank you Duokun!
Duo; ~from now open cockpit~ My pleasure!
==Deathscythe steps back and the roof is replaced, leaving everyone to gaze in amazement at the splattered remains of the toad==
Kagome; ~after long moment of silence~ YAY!!
Sesshomaru; Rin will be happy.
Inu Yasha; And you call ME weak!
Sesshomaru; What? How dare you, welp?!
Inu Yasha; I dare!
Okay! Let's get out of here before a fight begins. Join us next time, folks! You'll be happy to know that I finally managed to grab from Slayers Next, Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis, Amelia, Xellos, and Gaav!! Thank you and good night! See ya next time!!
[Written by Inseiko, 2000]