Good evening Folks! and welcome to The Fans want to Know!
As said before, this is the show where we interview the stars of your
favorite anime/manga and usually end up with some interesting episodes.
~ahem~ Tonight, you'll be happy to know that there were no pre-production
mishaps and as promised Hikaru, Umi, Fuu, Clef, Lantis, Eagle, Mokona are
here from Magic Knight Rayearth. Princess Emeraude couldn't make it, as
she is dead. We kinda forgot about that. So, without further such-and-such
let's get things started!!
Allrighty then! You there! State your full name for the audience!
Hikaru; Shidou Hikaru desu!
Is your hair red or pink?
Hikaru; ~examines braid~ um... both?
Are you really as na‹ve as you seem?
Hikaru; ~grins~ That is a secret!
Umi; AAHH!! It's Xellos in disguise!!
Fuu; Oh my!
Lantis; That Xellos must be a pretty talented guy to fit into such a small frame!
Eagle; and so convincing at-- uh... nm... ~tries to look invisible~
Clef; Hey! What's wrong with little guys!
Mokona; Pu-Puu!
~eyes Eagle with a sort-of manic gleam in eye~ So, uh, Hikaru, are you Xellos in disguise?
Hikaru; ~cat~ Who's Xellos? I don't get it...
I guess that answers our question!
Umi; It might be Xellos toying with us. He's good at that!
Fuu; But why would Xellossan be in Hikarusan?
Umi; Maybe he's got a crush on Lantis! ~giggle~
Fuu; He might also have a crush on Eaglesan!
Mokona; Pupupuu!
Umi; What'd IT say, Hikaru (if that is who you really are)
Hikaru; ~red~ Mokona said 'or both'
Lantis&Eagle; ~red~
So! Hikaru, do you and your dog ever get mixed up? Your names sound awfully alike.
Hikaru; Actually, I made Hikari up. In Cephiro the heart rules all and when I got home poof! Hikari was real! I was very surprised.
Oh.
Hikaru; Yeah, but now I've got Mokona, so things are good.
... anyway! Let's move on! Umi, full name please!
Umi; Ryuuzaki Umi desu!
How do you get your hair to be that perfect blue colour?
Umi; Kool-aid.
Which do you prefur? Clef or Ascot? Or are you a threesome girl?
Clef; ~falls off chair~
Lantis; Oh! Clefsan! Did you fall, little guy?! Here, let me help you! ~picks Clef up between thumb and forefinger, deposits him on chair~ Better?
Clef; Shut up.
Umi; Ascot, now that he's bigger.
Clef; But I thought you liked-- ~is silenced by glare~
Clef? You were saying?
Clef; nothing.
Umi; Yeah, nothing.
Neh, Umi. Why doesn't your armor have a skirt?
Umi; ~glares at Mokona~ That's a good question!
Mokona; Puupuupuuuuuuu!!
Hikaru; You don't have a skirt so that people watching the show aren't constantly bothered by your fan club yelling 'PANTY SHOT' when your skirt flys up. This way they are in a constant drooling, nosebleeding state and other people can watch the show in peace.
Mokona said all that with three 'puu's?
Hikaru; Mokona's very talented.
Umi; SHUT UP!! ~pulls mallet~ I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!
Fuu; That's not very nice, Umisan. Sit down and someone will get you some coffee.
Umi; None of that decaff garbage!
Fuu; of course not, dear.
==Stagehand runs on, hands Umi coffee, runs off==
Fuu; You may continue.
Sure... Fuu! Your turn! Full name please!
Fuu; Hououji Fuu desu. Doozo yoroshiku.
You too. You wouldn't happen to be friends with Quatre Rababa Winner, would you?
Fuu; Oh! Yes! We have tea every weekend!
Umi; ~grumbles~ That's not all they have every weekend...
Hikaru, Lantis, Eagle, & Clef; ~stares~
Excuse me?
Umi; You heard me!
Fuu; Oh-ho-ho-ho! She's just had a little too much to drink!
Eagle; But... that's coffee.
Fuu; She's. Had. A. Little. Too. Much. To. Drink. Okay?
Eagle; Okay...
Clef; Does Ferio know about this?
Yes! What about Ferio? Does he know about this? Am I going to have to bring him on the next time we do a Magic Knight Rayearth interview?
Fuu; Nonono! That's okay! Honestly! Quatre and I are JUST FRIENDS!! Umm... umm... Like Lantis and Eagle!
==silence==
On that note! Let's move on! Lantis! Are you mad at Hikaru for killing your brother? Were you ever?
Lantis; Not really. He used to beat me up when we were little. That's why I left to go to Autozam.
Eagle; Happiest day of MY life! I was mad, when he died, because that meant Lantiskun was leaving!
So, is there any rivalry between you two over Hikaru?
Lantis; No.
Eagle; We share!
Umi; Hikaru! I knew you couldn't decide! But this?!
Hikaru; eh heheheheheh...
Umi; ~pulls mallet~ Baka! Baka baka baka!
Hikaru; Wai! But I love them both!
All right. All right. Calm down everyone. You know, I don't think I'll ever acheive the sanity that first Fushigi Yuugi interview held. But anyway. Lantis and Eagle! Have you two ever... you know...
Lantis; Oh yeah. That was... interesting....
Eagle; I came home drunk one night after foolishly accepting Nuriko's offer to go bar hopping. He helped me to bed and it all went from there.
Why do all these stories involve alcohol in some form or another?
Clef; didn't you know?
Know what?
Clef; That alcohol is the ultimate love potion! All love potions that you buy are is just champagne with ten times the alcohol content and dried rose petal.
Wow! ~begins plans to slip some into Wufei's drink...~ Anyway! Since Lantis and Eagle are just creeping me out, we'll move on to interviewing you, Clef! Name please!
Clef; ~gives her odd look~ Clef desu.
Were you always that short, or did someone shrink you?
Clef; ~fumes~ I'm not short, everyone else is too tall.
Oh, come on! Even Hikaru's taller than you! The only characters shorter than you are either kids that still have growing time or Mokona, who's just a little malformed marshmallow easter bunny on speed!
Mokona; Puu!
Clef; ~glares~ I could 'Lightning call' you where you sit, you know.
Yeah, and I have Tasuki back stage. Tough.
Clef; You have no control over him now. You promised no more chair.
I have other methods of persuasion.
All; O.O
Not like that! Now come on! I'm interviewing Clef! Does it ever bother you that all the other male characters are three times your height? I mean, how bad is it when you're standing next to Geo?
Clef; Can we get off the topic of my height?
Answer the question.
Clef; Yes! It sucks, okay! Is that what you want me to say?
An honest answer is all I'm asking for.
Clef; *&%#&@$!!
Hikaru; Clef!
Was that beeped out? No?! That does it. One more outburst out of you, Master Clef and I'm afraid it's the folding metal chair for you! Got it? Good. Now, next question. Which of the Magic Knights would you most like to see wearing that see-through dress of Presea's?
Clef; ~perks up~ Can I have this made a reality?
Only if you can convince them.
Clef; ~considers Magic Knights~
==Umi is holding the mallet, ready and willing to use it, Hikaru has the cat ears and is sitting between two very powerful, very tall suitors. and then there's Fuu. Come to think of it, Clef's already seen them clothing-exempt but still...==
Clef; Fuu.
Fuu; N-nani?
All righty then! Time for the big question and then we interview Mokona.
Umi; ==BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP===
Tell me we got that one! We did? Great. Last question. Were you and Alcione ever an item?
Clef; nah, I don't go for S&M.
Gotcha. Mokona! Name please!
Mokona; Puu!
Hikaru; Mokona desu!
What is your favorite food?
Mokona; Puu!
Hikaru; Sugar candy!
Which Magic Knight is your favorite?
Mokona; Puu!
Hikaru; All three!
How come all you say is 'puu'?
Mokona; Puu!
Hikaru?
Hikaru; Oh, that's what it said... just 'puu.'
Why can only Hikaru understand you?
Mokona; Puu!
Hikaru; ~beams~ because I'm the star!
Makes sense.
Umi; Who'd wanna understand the little puffball anyway? ~chugs coffee~
Fuu; I wouldn't mind knowing what Mokonasan is saying when Hikarusan's not around.
Umi; The other thing is, can we really trust Hikaru's translations?
Fuu; Hikarusan would never lie!
Umi; But.. she's Xellos in disguise!
Fuu; I thought we proved that she wasn't!
Umi; That Xellos is a cunning fellow...
~gives Umi and Fuu strange look~ Well, that's all the time we have for folks! Thank you for watching this episode of The Fans want to Know. I know it wasn't quite as exciting as some of my last ones, but hopefully things will be better next time when we interview from Rumiko Takahashi's newest series, Inu Yasha; Inu Yasha himself, Kagome, Kikyou, Shippou, Miroku, Sango, and Sesshomaru! Now if you will excuse me, I have to go buy some champagne! Thank you, and good night!
[Written by an extremely tired Inseiko, who should be sleeping, 2000]