" You know, " commented Xellos cheerily as he and the rest of Lina Inverse's companions trooped out of the forest where they had yet again sent a naked, green haired little fairy thing flying with a well-aimed Dragon Slave, " that was almost too easy! "
Everyone stopped short, waiting, waiting... waiting. After a full ten minutes of waiting for nothing to happen, they figured Xellos hadn't jinxed them and continued on back to the inn.
Ten steps closer to their destination, Lina screamed. This was no ordinary
scream. This was a clench-your-fists-
use-your-diaphram-to-the-extent-of-its-abilities scream. Everyone screeched
to another halt and eyed their surroundings, whenever they weren't staring
at Lina questioningly.
" Zel! " Lina began to gesture wildly. " I remember now! " Everyone turned to blink at the frantic sorceress. " That fairy thing had stolen your chimera skin and was trying to take my magic and then started babbling on about you and I having a child and I was in a nightgown and you had no clothes at all and and and... " Lina trailed off in sheer horror.
Enjoying this immensely, Xellos decided to put the proverbial cherry on the sundae. " Zelkun, " he chided, " You know Lina's Gourry's! tsk tsk! "
Lina pulled a mallet from hammerspace and pounded Xellos into the literal ground. However, Xellos' task was done, and if it wasn't just his imagination, Zelgadis was turning a lovely shade of red.
Gourry blinked. " Lina's my what? "
Lina turned redder than Zelgadis could ever hope to. " Nothing! Nothing! " she assured, shooting a look at Xellos that could have wilted small garden plants.
Xellos grinned: and there was much surprise held by all. *coffcoff*
The fairy-thing stomped her foot. This wasn't fair! Sitting in a huff, her hair fluttered around her and she glared at the tree her imagination was in the process of metamorphosing into Lina Inverse. Oooh, that sorceress made her so mad! Was trying to steal the magic of the most powerful sorceress in the lands, as well as that of her companions really so bad? The chimera magics had been nice. She didn't know why Zelgadis had gone off the deep end like that. She thought he wanted to be human again! Then there was that mean Mazoku guy... heeeeyyyyyy...
The fairy thing held up her hand, a thin purple strand catching just enough sunlight to glint from where it was wrapped around her finger. The fairy thing grinned and her eyes melted into at deep orange. Mazoku guy could still prove useful.
Wrapping the strand into one more loop around her finger, the fairy
thing jerked her hand back towards her.
Far, far away at the inn, Xellos suddenly 'urk'ed and fell face first into the table with a huge, BAM!!
The others all stared at him for a moment before Lina mustered up the gumption to question hesitantly, " Um... Xel? "
" Hhhhhaaaaiiii? " emerged Xellos' voice from the tabletop.
" Is anything wrong? "
" No, no, " came the voice, sounding far away and muffled by the table, " why ever do you ask, Linachan? "
Lina looked befuddled a moment. " Be... cause your face seems to be mashed into the table at the moment, Xellos. "
" Oh... that... " Xellos paused. " I, I'm fine. Pay no attention to me. "
Zelgadis raised an eyebrow and returned to his coffee. Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Naga returned to their food. However, it is exceedingly hard to eat when one of your companions has their face in the tabletop and soon attention turned to Xellos again.
" Xellossan? " Amelia questioned. " Um... can't you get up? "
" What makes you ask that, dear Ameliachan? "
" Welllllll... you haven't yet... so... "
" Oh, well... "
" Fairy thing, " Zelgadis suddenly stated. The others (except for Xellos, of course) stared at him for a moment. Zelgadis gave them a look. " What else could it be? "
No one had any arguments.
Lina let out an exasperated sigh and got to her feet. " I am getting really fed up with that damn fairy thing! "
" But Linasan, " Amelia inputted, " how is Fairysan doing this to Xellossan? "
" Who cares?! Let's just go Dragon Slave the bitch and get on with our
meal! " Lina made the pushing-up-her-sleeve-
ready-for-a-fight motion and stormed off towards the door.
Naga finished off her rather large mug of sake and followed proclaiming something about rivals and not being left behind.
Zelgadis trailed along behind her, trying to pretend that he wasn't excited at the prospect of watching the Fairy thing getting blasted again.
Amelia remained behind with Xellos, who was still smashed into the table. " Um... " she offered, " I could try a healing spell... but that's white magic. "
" Thank you, Ameliachan, but just the same I'd prefer you didn't. "
" Oh... "
Gourry looked around. He saw trees. Trees and trees and trees and... well, just trees. Gourry pondered this for a moment and a half. Finally it dawned upon him.
All he could see was trees.
Nobody ever said that Gourry Gabriev was the brightest crayon in the box. Although he has had his moments... every once in a... blue moon.… Let's just say that he's one of the colours that has yet to be named. This was not the day in which that crayon was named.
Finally it dawned upon him. (yes, again)
If all he saw was trees that meant that he didn't see Lina.
Hmm...
All this thinking was pretty hard on Gourry's brain, so he sat down.
" OW! " exclaimed the ground.
Gourry stood up. That was unusual. He didn't know the ground could feel pain, much less talk. Thoroughly confused, Gourry turned to examine the injured ground and discovered that it was not the ground that had exclaimed, but a naked girl with green hair and fairy wings. Gourry blinked. The girl was wailing and crying puddles on the ground. Being the nice guy he is, Gourry pulled a tissue out of nowhere and offered it to the injured girl.
" Arigato, " she blubbered and blew her nose daintily, making a noise roughly equivalent to a fog horn heard through a loudspeaker at a football game with the volume cranked up to fifty-one. " You're too kind. "
" You're welcome! " Gourry chirped.
Y'know, something about this girl seemed familiar... Gourry had the distinct feeling that he'd seen her before. Oh! Now he knew!
She had the same hair colour as Martina! That explained it!
" Hey! " said Gourry brightly in an effort to cheer her up, " are you related to Martina? "
Fairy-thing paused a moment to stare at him questioningly, then returned to crying in earnest. There was a sizeable puddle forming around her knees by this time.
This was puzzling. Gourry scratched his head and thought. " Anoooo...."
Lina scowled at the trees around her. " Now where the hell is Gourry?!"
Naga looked this way and that. " I think we lost him! "
" Now there's a brilliant deduction, " Zelgadis commented dryly.
Come to think of it, the green haired girl he'd accidentally sat on looked awfully young. Were her parents around somewhere? Gourry shielded his eyes and searched the surrounding trees. Nope, no parents. No Lina either now that he thought about it. He wondered where she went...? He could have sworn he'd been with her a moment or two ago.
Why had they been in the forest anyway? Lina had even left her meal behind. This was a rare occurrence indeed. She must have been really mad. What was she mad about again? Something about Xellos... Xellos being mashed into the table. Had Xellos made her mad? This happened often enough. But no, she'd left Xellos behind with his face in the table...
Puzzles upon puzzles... Gourry needed to sit down.
" Ow! "
Gourry stood straight again and looked behind him. " Oh! " he looked
appalled, " Sorry! "
" Gourry! " Lina called, " GOURRY!! "
" He probably just got lost, Lina, " Naga commented idly.
Lina turned a smoldering glare on the other sorceress. " First this fairy thing goes after Zelgadis, then Xellos, and now Gourry's missing! Do you notice a pattern, Naga? Can that little sake-clouded brain of yours comprehend at all? "
" But Lina, Gourry doesn't have any magic to steal. That's what she wants, or wanted, when I encountered her, " Zelgadis pointed out.
Lina eyed him shrewdly, " But does she know that? "
Zelgadis blinked.
Pull and pull as she might, Amelia could not budge Xellos' face from
the table top. The whole attempt actually ended with her flat on her back,
and Xellos giggling.
" Gourry! Gourry! "
Gourry turned away from the puzzling girl on the ground and called back, " Ha! Lina! "
" Gourry?! Where the hell are you?! " Lina shouted back.
" Koko! " He responded, putting a hand to his mouth. " Lin--!! "
[Koko = here]
The Fairy Thing jumped up and glommed onto Gourry, covering his mouth and whispering in his ear. " That's enough, now, I'll take your magic before Lina Inverse gets here. "
" ? " was Gourry's basic reaction.
Nothing happened for quite awhile, and there was no sound except for the occasional curse from Lina, who couldn't seem to find them. Eventually, the Fairy Thing sweatdropped and released Gourry's mouth.
" Ano.. " she asked. " You don't have any magic, do you? "
" Nope! "
" THEN WHAT USE ARE YOU TO ME?! " Fairy Thing shrieked
" THERE YOU ARE!! " Lina proclaimed, coming across them finally. " Gourry! Kill her! "
" O-kay! " agreed Gourry, who drew his Sword of Light and took a swipe
at the Fairy Thing. Being the nice guy he is though, he left the mass destruction
to Lina and barely missed her. What he did get though, was the Xellos-hair
wrapped around her finger.
Amelia, who had returned to trying to pry Xellos off the table went
flying yet again.
Lina gave an evil little laugh and began chanting her absolute favorite spell. Why am I reducing myself to the same plot as the last two? Because I'm sick of this story. I've been working on it for several months now.
" DO-RA-GON SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVEEEE!!!!!! "
Well... you know the rest. ^^
***
[YATTA!! No more Fairy thing for this girl! I'm going to devote all my Slayers-based attention to The Fall of the Demon Among Demons now. I'm afraid I'll just... never reachieve the insanity of A Mazoku Cannot Lie... Much. Hope you got some enjoyment out of this. Ja!]
[Written by Inseiko, who's trying desperately to use her four day weekend to cut down on the amount of stuff she has to do, 2000]