And The Winner Is...

"Ohmygod! They've cloned Curious George! Those bastards!"

From the mind of Renee Tsolis
November 2, 1998

The Runners Up

Mulder: Well I'll be a monkey's....

Scully: Shut up Mulder.

washu | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Scully : Mulder why are those monkeys going ape over you?

Mulder : They lost their bananas and I used my keen psychological profile skills to find their bananas again. So I have massive appeal for them. Besides, unlike them, I never lost hope.

Scully : What made you so ripe to believe?

Mulder: Because, Scully, the fruit is out there.

Ed | November 5, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: Hey, Scully, toss me a third one and watch me juggle 'em!

Scully:(sighing) All right Mulder but this is the last time.

Joe Costa | November 6, 1998

--------------------

"D'you see? Do you SEE?!? NOTHING could possibly be more fun that this!"

Lupe Velez | November 4, 1998

--------------------

"Scully, why did all these monkeys want to go over Niagara Falls at once?"

X-Lydia | November 2, 1998

The Contenders
(in chronological order)

Mulder and Scully come to the grim realization that the alien/human hybrid experiments have gone terribly wrong.

Fauxmulder | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: "A nice trip to the forest, more fun than a barrelful of monkeys... Mulder, your metaphors are really starting to suck."

Fauxmulder | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Mulder, the way you're gripping that monkey suggests a repressed psychological Freudian mentality...I like that!

David Radcliff | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: "Hey, Scully, I think this package is for you. Aren't they your alien babies?'

Judy Milliken | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Happy Birthday Mulder.

Mulder: I don't know what to say.

Scully: Don't you like them? I got you what you asked for.

Mulder: I said "I want to have more fun than a barrel of Monkeys on my Birthday" not "I want a barrel of Monkeys".

Scully: Sorry Mulder...Could you help me put them back in so that I can return them. Oh my God, Mulder, it's smells like.....

Mulder: Scully, I'm warning you if this is Monkey poo, You're on your own. Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Tarnekep Portree | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: Scully, didn't we have killer apes before?

Scully: No. They were bees. You should really had your head examined after all those beer-nuts.

Itay Shlamkovich | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: I may be wrong, Mulder, but this doesn't look like an extraterrestrial craft.

Mulder: I SWEAR that I saw my sister in here somewhere! Keep looking, Scully!

Elvisette Y. | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: This proves my theory, Scully!

Scully: There's got to be some other explanation, Mulder...Maybe a steamroller came by and...

Scott Moran | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Oh, Mulder, quit monkeying around!!

Mulder: But Scully, I just KNOW my sister is in here somewhere!!!

Scully: Mulder, you need to quit listening to the Cigerette Smoking Man-I'm not sure what's in those cigerettes, anyway!!

Ikagirl | November 2, 1998

--------------------

"I said CAN OF WORMS! CAN OF WORMS!"

david berlinger | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Mulder - A-HA? I knew I'd find my sea monkeys here!

Scully - Wait a second, Mulder.....those aren't sea monkeys.

Mulder - OH MY GOD, RUN!!!!!

Richie | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Oh my god, Mulder...I...I think something bit me.

Mulder: It must have been one of these virus-infected monkeys that was hiding in your shirt.

Scully: Mulder...something's wrong. I'm...starting to crave bananas. And my skin is itching....I need to swing from a vine.

Mulder: You must be having a past-life regression...

Scully: No, Mulder...I've never liked monkeys....

R. Sonnenshine | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: "Look Scully! I found Bill Clinton and his Cabinet."

DSchu87107@aol.com | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Scully...did we stock up on bananas this week?

KD | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: "Hey Scully, look....now I have a lot of monkeys to spank!"

Scully: "Mulder, you really need to get a woman..."

dillweed | November 4, 1998

--------------------

"Hey Scully! Look what I found...do you think they could help me find my sister?"

"Jesus, Mulder...this isn't Planet of the Apes."

stix | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Really, Scully, you should be over that stupid dog by now. These pets are a lot more fun!

Rachel Crane | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Gee Mulder, thanks. I guess it's better than that keychain you got me last year.

Rachel Crane | November 4, 1998

--------------------

What the hell ISN'T more fun than this?!

D. Keaton | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Scully: "Mulder, are you saying that these apes evolved from humans?"

Mrs. Krycek | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: I wonder if they have been tested for the small pox vaccination.

Scully: No these monkeys have not.

Mulder: I've seen these monkeys before in a parallel universe.

Scully: Oh you have?

Mulder: Yah those potato guys were playing with them.

rachel pluebell | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Scully: "Who would want to cram a bunch of dead, orange monkeys into a septic tank?"

Mulder: "Aliens, obviously experimenting on them! It's a cover-up!!!!!"

Scully: "Mulder, put the monkey down so I can pimp-slap you."

Mrs. Krycek | November 4, 1998

--------------------

The Roddy McDowall clones run rampant as Mulder and Scully try desperately to contain them...

Darlene DeWitt | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Mulder, these monkeys have smallpox vaccination scars.

Mulder: Vacc--Oh my God Scully, what have they done?

Woodinat | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Mulder and Scully at the annual Team Builders Seminar ... Their personal revelation task ... build a bridge able to sustain the weight of one adult for 3", out of the contents of only one barrel ...

Mulder: What the heck are we suppose to do with these giant mutant plastic monkeys?

Scully: Maybe you should ask yourself why you couldn't come up with a better excuse than the flare up of your yearly hemorrhoidal condition!

Mulder: Why don't you sing ... something.

Scully: No ... Mulder!

Mulder: Well if you sing something at least I'll know at least YOUR awake.

unenthusiastic off key Scully:

Here we come,
Walking down the street,
We get the funniest looks from
everyone we meet.
(Chorus) Hey! Hey! We're the Monkees ...

mingo | November 5, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Oh, my god! It's all the offspring from The Great Mutato!

Mulder: Are you sure these aren't just more failed clones of Skinner?

Muneca | November 5, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: The truth is out there, Scully, I can feel it.

Scully: Mulder, don't toy with me.

Spider | November 5, 1998

--------------------

"Dammit not more Samantha clones"

pickledpepper | November 5, 1998

--------------------

Scully: I'm warning you Mulder I better not get any Monkey pee on me or you're on your own.

Carl Felty | November 5, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: "Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"

Scully: "Oh come on Mulder.. nothing is more fun than a barrel full of monkeys. Besides... they swept out the charred office, made me some coffee, played me a little tune and got the heat going in our rental car. What more could you ask?"

TheMerchandise | November 5, 1998

--------------------

Scully: What was Chris Carter thinking this time? What are we supposed to do with a barrel of monkeys?

Mulder: Hey Scully, you ever seen Planet of the Apes?

Scully: Mulder, how can you think of movies at a time like this?

Mulder: I thought it was better than bringing up the last movie I saw with apes...

Scully: What would that be?

Mulder: Scully, how can you think of perverted things like that when we are being attacked by a barrel of monkeys...

Scully: Per-....

shark | November 5, 1998

--------------------

Scully: "Mulder - why would a barrel full of bleeding monkeys be sent to the FBI headquarters? It appears that the Ebola virus may be responsible for the demise of these animals."

Mulder: "Ebola, shamola...actually, I was unpleasantly and chillingly reminded of my high school prom dance. (shudder) There are some things you just never recover from Scully. Secondly, I believe these are SMOKED monkeys - and we all know who has THAT bad habit!"

Ingrid Hammer | November 5, 1998

--------------------

MULDER: This is it! We found it, Scully! The truth is...plastic monkeys?

Lord Hogfish | November 6, 1998

--------------------

MULDER: Blast it! Those red dwarves took my car keys AGAIN!

SCULLY: Yeeesss...They always do seem to be monkeying around...

Mr. Krazy | November 6, 1998

--------------------

MULDER: These 12 monkeys are as bad as the movie by the same name!

SCULLY: I liked that movie!

MULDER: You would Scully...You would...

The Coleman | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Scully: So much for door number 1. Let me pick next time.

Mulder: Shut up and help me get these monkeys back in the barrel.

Brenda Downs | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Scully: "My God Mulder you brought me here to see a barrel of monkeys?"

Mulder: "Can't you see Scully, it's not just a barrel of ordinary monkeys! It's tub of genetically identical plasticized lifeforms which have clearly serve some maniacal purpose not yet understood by our antiquated science."

Darin Kinsey | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Mulder I think your sea monkeys have gotten a bit out of hand.

Mulder: That's just what "They" want you to think Scully.

Annie | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: Ha! I have more monkeys than you!

Scully: I have been ripped off all the monkeys from me!

Link Of Hyrule | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Look, it's that sattelite we sent into space with the monkeys in it.

Mulder: Yeah, but we only sent up two. I guess reproduction works in space!

Anna | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Mulder, what are you doing to that alien monkey?

Mulder: p-tooey You mean, this isn't some of that cool, freeze-dried astronaut food?

anna | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Just put the monkeys back in the barrel, Mulder. We have to go, now. Trying to get them to link arms so we can climb up them and over the wall will take all night!

REW Clark | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: Scully, working with you is more fun than a barrel of

Scully: small primates that have been genetically altered and cloned? Somehow, I'm not flattered by that, Mulder.

REW Clark | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: "Finally! After so many years we've found them! The truth is in here ... doh."

Em | November 6, 1998

--------------------

After trudging tirelessly through the Arctic, Mulder and Scully hope to uncover irrefutable proof of the existence of Extraterrestrials....

"But Mulder, this is just..."

"Y'know what Scully? This is kinda fun!"

damfino | November 6, 1998

--------------------

Scully: "Mulder, get your hands off your monkey and help me get this plastic cap on!

Elsbeth | November 6, 1998

--------------------

You know Scully, these have an UNCANNY resemblence to CANCER MAN...this truly IS an X-FILE!!

Shaunno | November 7, 1998

--------------------

MULDER: Scully, help me look though all these monkeys. I just know that one of them is my father!

SCULLY: Finally Mulder, a logical explanation!

Xgirl731@aol.com | November 7, 1998

--------------------

Scully: "Geez Mulder you should really clean out your fridge more often!"

Mulder: "You know you're right, the last time I checked this barrel was full of ... wait a minute this is my laundry!"

Tim Hopps | November 7, 1998

--------------------

"I don't care how much money Milton-Bradley puts into the show, Mulder. This is just stupid!"

And The Winner Is...

"Ohmygod! They've cloned Curious George! Those bastards!"

From the mind of Renee Tsolis November 2, 1998

The Runners Up

Mulder: Well I'll be a monkey's....

Scully: Shut up Mulder.

washu | November 4, 1998

--------------------

Scully : Mulder why are those monkeys going ape over you?

Mulder : They lost their bananas and I used my keen psychological profile skills to find their bananas again. So I have massive appeal for them. Besides, unlike them, I never lost hope.

Scully : What made you so ripe to believe?

Mulder: Because, Scully, the fruit is out there.

Ed | November 5, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: Hey, Scully, toss me a third one and watch me juggle 'em!

Scully:(sighing) All right Mulder but this is the last time.

Joe Costa | November 6, 1998

--------------------

"D'you see? Do you SEE?!? NOTHING could possibly be more fun that this!"

Lupe Velez | November 4, 1998

--------------------

"Scully, why did all these monkeys want to go over Niagara Falls at once?"

X-Lydia | November 2, 1998

The Contenders (in chronological order)

Mulder and Scully come to the grim realization that the alien/human hybrid experiments have gone terribly wrong.

Fauxmulder | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: "A nice trip to the forest, more fun than a barrelful of monkeys... Mulder, your metaphors are really starting to suck."

Fauxmulder | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Mulder, the way you're gripping that monkey suggests a repressed psychological Freudian mentality...I *like* that!

David Radcliff | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: "Hey, Scully, I think this package is for you. Aren't they your alien babies?'

Judy Milliken | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Happy Birthday Mulder.

Mulder: I don't know what to say.

Scully: Don't you like them? I got you what you asked for.

Mulder: I said "I want to have more fun than a barrel of Monkeys on my Birthday" not "I want a barrel of Monkeys".

Scully: Sorry Mulder...Could you help me put them back in so that I can return them. Oh my God, Mulder, it's smells like.....

Mulder: Scully, I'm warning you if this is Monkey poo, You're on your own. Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Tarnekep Portree | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: Scully, didn't we have killer apes before?

Scully: No. They were bees. You should really had your head examined after all those beer-nuts.

Itay Shlamkovich | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: I may be wrong, Mulder, but this doesn't look like an extraterrestrial craft.

Mulder: I SWEAR that I saw my sister in here somewhere! Keep looking, Scully!

Elvisette Y. | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: This proves my theory, Scully!

Scully: There's got to be some other explanation, Mulder...Maybe a steamroller came by and...

Scott Moran | November 1, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Oh, Mulder, quit monkeying around!!

Mulder: But Scully, I just KNOW my sister is in here somewhere!!!

Scully: Mulder, you need to quit listening to the Cigerette Smoking Man-I'm not sure what's in those cigerettes, anyway!!

Ikagirl | November 2, 1998

--------------------

"I said CAN OF WORMS! CAN OF WORMS!"

david berlinger | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Mulder - A-HA? I knew I'd find my sea monkeys here!

Scully - Wait a second, Mulder.....those aren't sea monkeys.

Mulder - OH MY GOD, RUN!!!!!

Richie | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Scully: Oh my god, Mulder...I...I think something bit me.

Mulder: It must have been one of these virus-infected monkeys that was hiding in your shirt.

Scully: Mulder...something's wrong. I'm...starting to crave bananas. And my skin is itching....I need to swing from a vine.

Mulder: You must be having a past-life regression...

Scully: No, Mulder...I've never liked monkeys....

R. Sonnenshine | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Mulder: "Look Scully! I found Bill Clinton and his Cabinet."

DSchu87107@aol.com | November 3, 1998

--------------------

Scully...did we stock up on bananas this week?

From the mind of Renee Tsolis
November 2, 1998

The Contenders
(in chronological order)

Scully: Mulder, the way you're gripping that monkey suggests a repressed psychological Freudian mentality...I like that!

Here we come,
Walking down the street,
We get the funniest looks from
everyone we meet.
(Chorus) Hey! Hey! We're the Monkees ...