And The Winner Is...

Spidey: "Now...if I can just swing out a--LITTLE more, I'll get to see some of that lovely Scully-cleavage!"

From the mind of Kawcrow
November 23, 1998


The Runners Up

SCULLY: Mulder, I never told you this before, but I am TERRIFIED of big spiders...

MULDER: Then I wouldn't suggest looking up...

Nate | November 23, 1998
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Skinner dressed as Spiderman: I can't believe the cigarette-smoking man got me to dress like this to get the radioactive spider clones while hanging from a spider web.

Scully: Did you hear something, Mulder?

Mulder: No, just keep holding cute little Spooky the spider while I hold little Spender the spider here.

Scully: Sure. Fine. Whatever.

Heather Mahoney | November 28, 1998
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Scully ... "Oh, they're so sweet ... can we keep them?"

Mulder ... "This one does have my eyes..."

Spiderman ... a closet shipper ... does what little he can to get Scully and Mulder together.

mingo | November 25, 1998
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Spiderman: Watch out down there! I'm faaaaaaaaaaalling!

Scully: But I thought you can stick to buildings and shoot webs?

Spiderman: Mostly you were right, but because of your damn show and your salary there were cut-backs and I...

Mulder: Ouch. That's gotta hurt.

Itay Shlamkovich | November 29, 1998
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"See, Mulder? Those reports of giant mutant spiders were grossly exaggerated."

Riff | November 28, 1998

The Contenders
(in chronological order)

SPIDER MAN: I wonder if that red headed woman knows I'm looking down her blouse.

BGK | November 22, 1998
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Fox's Newest (And most likely worst) Crossover

Anne Packrat | November 22, 1998
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Scully: Ah, Mulder can I keep the little babies.

Mulder: What!! You know how much mess they make.

Scully: But, bu...

Mulder: Now be a good F.B.I. agent and give them back to papa.

Tim W. | November 23, 1998
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Mulder was right, from this vantage point i can see straight into Scully's cleavage.

caerbannog | November 23, 1998
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Mulder: I think those spiders fell from Spiderman's tights up there, Scully.

Scully: No, no. They don't look like spiders, Mulder. Looks more like...like... Phthirus pubis?

Mulder: Crabs?! Are they radioactive?

Scully: I warn you Mulder, drag me on another case like this one next time and you are on your own.

emet | November 23, 1998
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MULDER: Blast it! The Orkin man just couldn't cut it against THESE bugs!

SCULLY: I'll get the bug zapper!

Mr. Krazy | November 23, 1998
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Okay, guys...now when I give the word, jump on their heads and see if that's Scully's *real* hair color....

D P Falck | November 23, 1998
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"I'm worried, Mulder. With this many young here, the mother can't be far behind."

Riff | November 23, 1998
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"Scully, I'm beginning to suspect I'm not the twins' father. What other men have you been hanging around with?"

Riff | November 23, 1998
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"Mulder, this thing Spider-Man brought us may show us the reason we have been getting these X-files, and maybe why Spider-Man is seriously over-muscely. The Truth Is Out There!"

Kyle Shannon | November 23, 1998
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Spiderman: Aah-choo!

Mulder (making an intuitive leap of faith): Look, Scully, some sort of organic life form which obviously only appears every three hundred years and lives off human kidneys

Scully: Nah, it's just a pile of snot from an over-rated comic strip hero

Ludo | November 24, 1998
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He gave birth to these without even taking his trousers off...

Llinos | November 24, 1998
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Hey there, True Believers! Looks like your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman is spying on Agents Mulder and Scully! Let's listen in:

Mulder: "Trust me, Scully, your niece would love these ID4 action figures!

Scully: "Beats the hell out of Barbie..."

Mulder: "We could always get her... nah."

Scully: "Mulder, are you saying my niece would prefer that large Amazing Spider-Man doll hanging over our heads?"

Mrs. Krycek | November 24, 1998
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Spiderman: You found my children!

Scully: Hey! These are *my* kids

Chloe_ | November 24, 1998
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My god, that's an ugly baby

Jon Dolias | November 24, 1998
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MULDER: Cool! Free radioactive spiders!

SCULLY: So that's what they're putting in Cracker Jack boxes these days...

SPIDER MAN: GAAAAH! Don't touch those...!

Captain Star | November 24, 1998
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Spiderman: (thinking Scully is really his wife, Mary Jane) to Mulder: "Hey tough guy, get away from my woman!"

Mulder: "Your woman! This is my partner, Dana Katherine Scully."

Scully: "Mulder, I am afraid that Spiderman is right. I am his wife and these spiders that we are holding are our offspring."

Kane | November 24, 1998
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Mulder, do you get the feeling that we're being watched?

Agent Rebecca | November 24, 1998
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Mulder: Look, Spiderman just took a crap!

Scully: And it's purple!

Navin | November 25, 1998
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Scully: I was reaching for my cell phone, and somehow these radioactive spiders had crawled into my breast pocket, and bit my hand.

Mulder: Whoa, Scully! What you just said made my Spider sense tingle!

Mike Sanders | November 25, 1998
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Spiderman: Hellloooo Scully, goodbye MJ! Get out of my way spooky!

Mike Sanders | November 25, 1998
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Mulder, I didn't know the smoking man reproduced

Paul Major | November 25, 1998
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Spiderman says "Get your damn hands off my kid."

Justin Bruno | November 25, 1998
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Scully - Don't worry Spiderman.....

Mulder - Yeah, we'll take care of your spiders until you get over that hangover...'

Michelle | November 25, 1998
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If this isn't an alien baby, I need some soap and he needs a diaper.

John Spert | November 26, 1998
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Spiderman: Don't worry, honey! I'll save you from the dissecting hands of Scully and Mulder! (ready to pounce on Scully and Mulder)

Jasmine | November 27, 1998
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Scully: Sorry Mulder I lied to you. These creatures aren't space alien clones here to tell you where your sister is.

Mulder: Then what or who are they & why is Spiderman here?

Scully: We've come to tell you that we're in love & these are our children, but Peter's (a.k.a. Spiderman) radioactive blood mutated them into something far worse than a neo-genic mutant.

Shanna C. | November 28, 1998
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Mulder: Right then I had a praying man-

Scully: Awwwwww, look at the cutsy, wutsy, isty, bitsy spider widdie...

Spiderman: Is you partner always this...gushy?

The Grocer | November 28, 1998
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Mulder: Look what I found. Radioactive Spiders!

Scully: Mulder, where do you come up with these crazy ideas. These are the new hot christmas toys..Furbies.

Mulder: FurWhat..?

Scully: Here put them next to each other and they will talk to each other in their own language.

Mulder: You have got to be kidding. Where do you get your crazy ideas.

Spiderman: Hey where did you two find the radioactive Furbies? I waited six hours at Walmart and still didn't get one.

Tarnekep Portree | November 28, 1998
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Scully: No problem, Spidey. Mulder and I don't mind babysitting.

Tarnekep Portree | November 28, 1998
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Peter Parker walks through F.B.I. headquarters taking pictures for an upcoming story when his spider-sense is activated. Little does he know that just a few doors down Agent Spender is releasing radio-active spiders into the halls of the J. Edgar Hoover Building. As he follows his spider-sense toward Spender's office (trying to avoid the preplexed stares of many as he crawls along the ceiling) two agents catch his eye. Both are holding radio-active spiders in their hands. Spider-man tries to warn them of the impending danger but, paralyzed by the memories of his own tragic metemorphosis, can only make spidery, whimpering noises.

Jess Hill | November 29, 1998

Action Caption | Alien Ice Picktures | Week 13 Winners