And The Winner Is...

Mulder, I told you not to flush your fish!

From the mind of Jess Idres
January 25, 1999


The Runners Up

Head 1: Hey, FBI Agents Taste Great!

Head 2: No, they're Less Filling!

Head 1: Tastes Great!

Head 2: Less Filling!

Ad nauseum.

Anne Packrat | January 27, 1999
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After finally revealing all the Syndicate's secrets, Chris Carter was forced to turn to 'Hercules' and "Xena' for ideas.

Lori | January 28, 1999
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As Mulder and Scully were groovin' to Duran Duran's "Union of the Snake," they realized that virtual reality nightclubs were probably not the way to go

Marc Bowker | January 29, 1999
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Mulder to hydra: I'm happy to report that this head has no cavities.

Scully: I can't believe you fell for that, Mulder.

Melanie Lenko | January 26, 1999
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Scully: "Hey, Mulder! It's ribbed for MY pleasure!"

bee and shera | January 26, 1999
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"Mulder, get your tongue out of my ear!"

"Um, Scully, that's, uh, that's not me ..."

Lainey | January 24, 1999

The Contenders
(in chronological order)

Mulder: "OK Scully, this is the LAST time we have your parents over for dinner!"

Strawberryshake | January 24, 1999
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Hydra #1: Hey Scully let me tell you a secret!

Scully: What is it?

Hydra #1: My other head is biting Mulder's face off while he's listening to Disco Inferno!

Jon K | January 24, 1999
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Knowing full well that two heads are better than one, the hydra takes out Mulder and seduces Scully in one fowl swoop.

Eriu | January 24, 1999
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FROHIKE: Back off Mulder! She's mine!

SCULLY: Dammit Frohike! I told you I'm not interested!

Mr. Krazy | January 24, 1999
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I've never had head like this!

John Spert | January 24, 1999
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"Mulder, I warned you, if you brought up Area 51 one more time I'd sic Fluffy on you."

Jenna | January 24, 1999
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Mulder: Scully? A little help here?

Scully: (thinking) I'll never be ditched again.

Danielle Phillips | January 24, 1999
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Scully: I thought these things were supposed to have three heads, Mulder ... Mulder?

Riff | January 24, 1999
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Mulder: Hey Scully - you're supposed to dance with the one that 'brung ya'.

Tulip | January 24, 1999
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Suddenly a two-headed Hydra attacked Mulder and Scully!

To some this would seem strange but to them it was just another day at work. Mulder was sure that the Hyrda had abducted his sister, Samantha, and told Scully. Scully, who was fending off a man-eating Hyrda, had no time to answer.

Frodo Underhill | January 24, 1999
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Mulder speaking with a very muffled voice: Scully, do you really need scientific proof that a two headed hydra is about to chew my head off ??

dk | January 24, 1999
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Mulder - Wow you give good head.

Zane Hembest | January 25, 1999
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Mulder: Can you ask him again where Samantha is? She's not in here.

Gary MacDonald | January 25, 1999
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SCULLY " Moulder, do you think the department will let me keep him? He sure is cute.... Moulder?

Bill Batten | January 25, 1999
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Scully: "DAMN FURBY LAWSUIT!!!!! NOW THEY GOTTA STEAL IDEAS FROM OUR SHOW FOR THE NEW LOOK OF FURBIES, SHUT THE HELL UP YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!! SPEILBERG AND HIS ASSOCIATES WILL PAY!!!!!!!!

Madman | January 25, 1999
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Scully: HOLD ON MULDER I'M GOING TO SHOOT ITS HEADS OFF!!!

MULDER NNNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! .....AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Crystal McGinn | January 25, 1999
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Scully: Ummm Mulder? Its nibbling my ear . . .

Mulder: (drunk) Stand back Scully! I'll fight it off! EEEEK!

Steph or something . . . | January 25, 1999
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While Scully wrestles the hydra.... I will tell you of its mating habits...

AZRAEL | January 25, 1999
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"Mulder, whoever genetically engineered this three-headed dragon used puppy DNA!"

X-Lydia | January 25, 1999
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Scully: "Ooooh, Mulder, I don't know about you, but he's nibbling my ear...."

KD | January 25, 1999
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While Scully slowly waltzes with head no.1, head no.2 attacks Mulder for taking the mickey with his Stayin' Alive impression.

Ludo | January 26, 1999
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Scully: Don't your dare leave a hickey!

Mulder: Mrumph mnph mmhrh (translated: Yeah baby, deeper!)

jerry | January 26, 1999
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Mulder: I told you double dating would be fun!

Jennifer Mc Intyre | January 26, 1999
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Scully: "I told you Mulder, not now! Can't you hold it in till tonight?"

Mulder: "Ah..Scully...I'm over here."

Jennifer | January 26, 1999
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Scully: Mulder ?

Mulder: What ?

Scully: Now since we both have "A" date, what would you say to a double date?

Mulder: COOL!!!

Carol | January 26, 1999
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SCULLY: Hydra, I know I told you he gets on my nerves somtimes, but you really didn't have to eat his head!

Ladyfox | January 26, 1999
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SCULLY: Okay, Mulder, this time things are getting a little out of hand

MULDER: (muffled) I, I can't begin to describe what I'm seeing, Scully! This is everything that we've searched for, the truth, right inside of this hydra!

SCULLY: No, Mulder, those are his tonsils

Joe-Anna | January 26, 1999
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"Awww... hey, Mulder! I think he likes my perfume!"

"MMMFFF. SCFFFFY?" [trans.: "Ummm.. Scully?"]

Shmoo | January 26, 1999
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Endevour for the best

vijay | January 27, 1999
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Mulder takes Scully back to meet his mother

Julian Ripley | January 27, 1999
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Scully: Why did you bring this back Mulder when I only asked for a single Hydra?

Mulder: Well two heads are better than one!

Julian Ripley | January 27, 1999
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Scully: Do you like your dancing partner Mulder? Mine's cute, but he has terrible breath.

Mulder: Mmmpphh!

Mike Sanders | January 27, 1999
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Mulder (whispering to Scully): Let's dance with them and they might not eat us. You Tango and I'll do my Night Fever dance.

Julian Ripley | January 27, 1999
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Hydra Head 1to Hydra Head 2: Do you spit or swallow?

Hydra Head 2: I'll tell you in a minute.

Julian Ripley | January 27, 1999
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well, a double date with siamese twins sounded like a good idea...

john daquila | January 27, 1999
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Scully: Well, it likes me, Mulder. I don't know what your Problem is.

Mulder: MMMMMPH! MM MPH MPPHH!!!

Scully: Quit complaining. Now, how do you like the name 'Tinky-Winky'?

Mrs. Krycek | January 27, 1999
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Scully: Oh, Mulder! It is a close shave this time!

Itay Shlamkovich | January 27, 1999
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Scully (to herself): And after six years, I always tried to imagine what Mulder really hid in his boxers...

Mulder (as if he'd read her mind): Scullleee!!! That... is NOT me!!! Heellppp!!!

Scully: Don't move Mulder!!!! I will try tame it by stroking...

emet | January 27, 1999
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Mulder: This thing's almost... rabid!

Scully: I don't know why... you're the one with the Hydra-phobia.

(The hydra runs off, as bad puns offend its sensiblitites)

Erin | January 27, 1999
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Scully's new boyfriend whispered in her ear "I love being with a REAL woman who appreciates my brainpower instead of always trying to cut one of my heads off," as his other head tried in vain to keep Mulder from interrupting their tryst. His looks were unconventional, but what devotion!

Joy Zeh | January 27, 1999
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Hydra: "Yeah, my agent is great - I've had guest shots on Buffy, Hercules, Xena, all the big ones. Did you see me in the new Star Wars trailer? - I play the desert monster. Yeah, stick with me and we'll really go places. By the way, you don't mind if I swallow Fox's head, do you?

Joy Zeh | January 27, 1999
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Mulder, whatever else you may be, you are NOT a demi-god. Now stop playing with the thing and go find Hercules!!

Tally | January 27, 1999
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Whoa... Scully, you gotta see this!

Elena Sculder | January 27, 1999
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Scully should have known this blind date would be a bad idea. Now, as the centrepiece made a total shambles of the evening, foiling Mulder's attempts to pay and whispering sweet nothings in her ear, more than ever Scully wished she hadn't taken Cancer Man's dating advice no matter how hard up she was.

Sushi | January 28, 1999
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Mulder: this isn't what i meant when i asked for some head

wOOgie | January 28, 1999
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Scully: Hey mulder get off..

Mulder: Mrph mmmrr mrph mrphu

Stevo | January 28, 1999
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this thing kisses better than Krycek!

sharon | January 28, 1999
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Hey, why you two are making out I might need a little help over here.

Tessa | January 28, 1999
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"Hey Scully, I can see my house from here!"

Red Crow | January 28, 1999
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Scully ... thinking ... "You know it's times like these that I wish I had ordered those 1 - 900 - Xena's Testosterone Boost capsules"

mingo | January 28, 1999
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Mulder:AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE! (girlie scream) SCULLY! IT'S GOT MY HEAD!

Scully: But Mulder, this end kisses so nice...

jENNI | January 28, 1999
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Hey, at least someone is finally getting head on that show!!!!

Jeremy Bellis | January 29, 1999
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Scully: That's it, no more double dates Mulder.

Natasha Meyer | January 29, 1999
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Get lost, Mulder......what I need is...St. George !

Padre Techo | January 29, 1999
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I guess this is one case where two heads are NOT better than one!

Astaria | January 29, 1999
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"Oh, isn't it cute, Mulder? Mulder?"

John | January 29, 1999
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Mulder: Jesus, Scully, is that how desperate you've become?

Scully: (with some difficulty) Let's not forget WHO ELSE had the brilliant idea to try and make out with a plastic Hydra!

Stephanie | January 29, 1999
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Hydra: Mommy, is he bothering you?

Mulder: Not another Clone!

Chloe_Almathea | January 29, 1999
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Mulder: Okay Scully, you hold its other head back and I'll fish around inside this one and see if I can find my gun and cell phone.

Scully: Allright Mulder, but if it eats you, I'm not going in there after you.

Steph | January 29, 1999
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SCULLY: MULDER!! Get this thing OFF of me!! UGGHHH!!

MULDER: Sorry. Ever since Frohike got drenched in that alien DNA, he's had some difficulty controlling his sexual urges.

SCULLY: Wait a minute. I thought this was supposed to be PG-13!!

MULDER: Compared to most movies today, it IS!! Haven't you seen "Can't Hardly Wait"?

SCULLY: Hey--BACK OFF!! I LOVED that movie!!!

Kawcrow | January 29, 1999
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geeee.... it sure has a funny way of frenching us

D`monk | January 30, 1999
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Mulder: I thought those flatworms fought when they faced each other-mmmmppphhhh!!!

Scully: Well, this is a kinder, gentler nation now.

Sarah Plummer | January 30, 1999
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"No honey, mommy's working at the moment, go and talk to daddy, I'm sure he'll get you an icecream"

Clay | January 30, 1999

Action Caption | Alien Ice Picktures | Week 22 Winners