And The Winner Is...

Mulder: Scully, do you think Diana will like this for her birthday?

Scully: I think Agent Fowley will love it.
(Scully laughs quietly to herself)

From the mind of Tarnekep Portree
March 15, 1999


The Runners Up

S: Mulder, I think I finally understand why you gave me this for my birthday. It portrays paranormal all around us. Even something as simple and beautiful as a sunflower can seem ominous when one really stops to look at it....

M: Actually, I just thought it made a cool lawn ornament

Kate Anderson | March 20, 1999
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"Well, Scully, the pink flamingo didn't work, but I figure this should *really* piss them off!"

Theresa | March 18, 1999
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Scully: ummmmm, Mulder, I KNOW you love sunflower seeds and you feel they have this connection to your dad and all, but that sunflower tiki man is downright ugly!

pickledpepper | March 18, 1999
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Scully: "So let me get this straight. You claim that this thing hatched out of one of your sunflower seeds last night."

Mulder: "That's right, Scully. And it seems to be saluting, I think this was the result of Nazi horticulture experiments from the late 1930's!"

Aaron Slack | March 16, 1999
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Mulder: I thought we could use a little something in our office.

Scully: What is it?

Mulder: A dancing sunflower. Complete with sunglasses and guaranteed authentic.

Scully: You spent money for this?

Mulder: $29.95 plus shipping.

Scully: Mulder, this is even hokier than the one they showed on the Alien Ice Picktures website.

AndiBethXF | March 16, 1999

The Contenders
(in chronological order)

Scully: (thinking) "Why can't he give me normal flowers like all the other underappreciated agents? And it's secretary day. He thinks of me as his SECRETARY?!?"

Mulder: (thinking) "Oh man, she's reaching for her gun! Maybe I should have gone easy on the Miracle Grow..."

Lunchlady Doris | March 14, 1999
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Mulder: "Sure, pesticides are the logical explanation, but I think it's the manure - a covert experiment by the Syndicate to create mutant cow manure..."

Lunchlady Doris | March 14, 1999
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Mulder: "...and you'll get fresh sunflower seeds whenever you want!"

Scully: "Uh, thanks, Mulder. Now for my gift..." (bends down to pick up her Bee Pollen Breadmaker)

Lunchlady Doris | March 14, 1999
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Scully: "Wicked hood ornament, Mulder!"

Mulder: "I know. I'm gonna have the most bad-ass Ford Taurus."

Lunchlady Doris | March 14, 1999
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Scully: For me? Mulder, you didn't have to!

Itay Shlamkovich | March 14, 1999
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"No, I'm glad you brought me flowers, Mulder, but this isn't what I had in mind."

"Why?"

"I think it tried to bite me."

Celes | March 14, 1999
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Even giving a woman flowers could be worthy of an X-File, as Mulder handily proved.

Melvin F. | March 14, 1999
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Mulder, this thing has a Woody?

Chuck Roberts | March 14, 1999
--------------------

Mulder: This basketball cult has really gotten out of hand...

Scully: Yes, but this proves that Dennis Rodman is a pansy after all!

Q | March 14, 1999
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"Didn't I tell you, the guy at the flower shop said not to water it after midnight?"

"It would have been nice of you to mention that before, Mulder."

Jenna | March 14, 1999
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Mulder, it's customary to give a girl ROSES for Valentine's Day.

Frodo Underhill | March 14, 1999
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Scully: You're right Mulder this would be the perfect lawn ornament the next time we go undercover!

Jennifer | March 14, 1999
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Scully: 'Come on Scully!' you say, 'It will be fun' you say. Mulder this _thing_ is even more stranger then that chupacabra. The last time we were in Mexico!

Jennifer | March 14, 1999
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Scully: "Um, thanks Mulder, but couldn't you just buy me roses instead?"

Strawberryshake | March 14, 1999
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Uh... no, Mulder I do NOT think this is conclusive proof that the ancient Aztecs worshipped a sunflower seed god.

Elena Sculder | March 15, 1999
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Scully: I have it on good authority that this is the oscar given to Madonna for Evita.

Mulder: It looks more like John Travolta for Saturday Night Fever

delilah | March 15, 1999
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Mulder seems concerned as he looks at Scully.

*thinking*: Is she bringing that home to put on her mantle or to play "He loves me, he loves me not?"

Wergel | March 15, 1999
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Scully: You know, Mulder, this statue I just bought is intriguing.

Mulder: Yes, but remember what the old chinese gentleman warned you -- Don't get it wet and don't feed it after midnight.

Scully: I always knew you were superstitious, but that seems a little silly!

Ramoth | March 15, 1999
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Mulder: try turning up the volume on the stereo. that'll get his hips a-shakin'!

Scully: dammit, mulder! it's loud enough!! i guess this just isn't one of those dancing sunflowers...oh well...i love those things.

puddlesky | March 15, 1999
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Scully: "...and that while we may "shine" like wacky sunflowers now, it is because of the work of so many people before us. You're trying to say that no one gets there alone."

Mulder: I just thought it was a nice keychain.

wendy | March 15, 1999
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Scully: I'd like to thank the academy, my friends and family and, of course, my friend and "partner." I know you'll win next year, so hang in there Mulder!

creepie | March 15, 1999
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I think it has nuts. Lets ask Cancer Man. He knows his nuts.

Peter L. | March 15, 1999
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Scully: Is that a sunflower seed in his pants, or is he just happy to see me?

Mulder: No no no, Scully i'm pretty sure it's a sunflower seed.

anonymous | March 15, 1999
--------------------

So this is what the new Emmy looks like...

RICK MAIER | March 15, 1999
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MULDER: I know it's only our first date, but I thought flowers might help break the ice a little.

SCULLY: You know, Mulder, you should stop asking Langly, Byers, and Frohike for dating tips.

Cuts | March 15, 1999
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Scully: Look Mulder, I found this on your doorstep

Mulder: Just think happy thoughts and the bad scarecrow will go away

Agent X | March 15, 1999
--------------------

Anderson and Duchovny between takes ...

GA: "Now explain this to me again, what exactly is this -plant- going to do to guarantee you a win at the Emmy's next year?"

mingo | March 16, 1999
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Scully: "Oh... it's lovely Mulder, but.... My birthday isn't until Thursday."

Lillybett | March 16, 1999
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Scully: "Can't you just give a dozen roses like any *normal* guy?"

Kieran Mullen | March 16, 1999
--------------------

"How about a little weed, Scully?"

Kurt Doerr | March 16, 1999
--------------------

Scully: "I told you the X-Files was nothing but a government compost heap"

Mulder: "Yeah, and that's the biggest weed since Hoover"

Kurt Manic | March 16, 1999
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Scully: Mulder, for the last time, I don't believe that this is a Chia Skinner!

Anne Packrat | March 16, 1999
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Scully: I got it on my vacation to Mexico

Mulder: That is one freaky laquer frog.

The Grocer | March 17, 1999
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Scully: Damnit Mulder, I told you not to trade your salary for those magic beans!

Adam Bruckner | March 17, 1999
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Scully: I *do* appreciate the time and effort you must have put into this, Mulder, and I *do* love Spanish flower men, but Valentine's Day was LAST month!

Ludo | March 18, 1999
--------------------

"Um. Gee Mulder, you shouldn't have...."

Lori | March 18, 1999
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Mulder: I'm telling you Scully! Those petals pick up cable.

Michael | March 18, 1999
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El Seed: Gimme a Q!

Michael | March 18, 1999
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Mulder: I'm telling you Scully this job just isn't worth it!

Scully: The lady says she used too much fertilizer... Mulder What do you think?

Mulder: I say we storm her house... that ought to be fun

Michael | March 18, 1999
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Announcer: - and here Mulder and Scully are holding up the latest in Plant fashion

Michael | March 18, 1999
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Scully: Mulder how much of the contaminated super grow did you put in this thing!!??

Michael | March 18, 1999
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Mulder: He scares me Scully

Scully: Don't worry Mulder he ran right into a roach motel...He won't be going anywhere

Michael | March 18, 1999
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Mulder: See, Scully? You push its hand down and it pees brandy!

Scully: Oh well, anything's better than another %#*$ keychain.

Mobiustrip | March 18, 1999
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"Mulder, you honestly believe that THIS is the final form of the alien colonists?! All those seeds have gone to your brain."

wendy | March 19, 1999
--------------------

Mulder? What kind of plant food have you been using on this thing?

jENNI | March 19, 1999
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El Seed: And another thing! We flowers are sick and tired of being subjected to that horrid ritual in which you humans rip off petals to figure out if someone likes you! Be like us and ASK THEM! That last part is for you, Deadpan!

Scully: Mulder? What is he talking about?

Mulder: I only used up a couple dozen daisys...

jENNI | March 19, 1999
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Mulder: Uh, Scully, was it one packet of insta-grow in 6 cups of water, or 6 packets in one cup?!?

LIZ | March 19, 1999
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Mulder: I told you, Scully, that mixing Miracle Grow with nuclear waste wasn't very smart!

Jennie | March 19, 1999
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See, Mulder? This is what you get when you don't pay attention and drop your sunflower seed shells in a toxic waste dump...

Erin | March 19, 1999
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Scully: I'm just so HAPPY, Mulder!! I've tried and tried, but I NEVER thought I would actually *WIN* the Evil Biogenetically Engineered Lilac Botanists' Hybrid of the Year Trophy!!!

Mulder: We really do need to get out more.

Kawcrow | March 20, 1999
--------------------

"X-files, smeck files, this is in the round files!"

Jo Nuttall | March 20, 1999
--------------------

what the hell

justin | March 20, 1999
--------------------

Well.... This is a X-file but what is it?

Sam | March 20, 1999
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Scully: Mulder, this statue expresses all the feelings I have about your sunflower seed addiction.

Heather Mahoney | March 20, 1999

Action Caption | Alien Ice Picktures | Week 28 Winners