And The Winner Is...

Look Mulder! I finally fixed Agent Pendrell!

From the mind of Lori
April 2, 1999

The Runners Up

Missing scene from "One Son"

Scully: Alright I'll get in the shower Fowley just call it off!

BGK | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder" "Uh, Scully, I really hope that's 'your' hand on my thigh."

Scully: "Oh sure, two single men in the room and they dance with each other!"

Strawberryshake | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Scully: Tell me again how you exchanged "professional information" with Karen...

Mulder: Scully, let me go, and I'll never go online again!! I promise!

Adrienne | March 30, 1999

--------------------

Scully: "Don't look at me, Skinner. It was Mulder's bright idea to give Borg technology to your nanoprobes."

Mulder: "Uh, I gotta go feed my fish..."

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

After a heated argument with Mulder, Bill Scully loses his temper and embarks on a rampage as Dana attempts to mediate.

Lori | March 29, 1999

The Contenders
(in chronological order)

Scully: Eh, Mulder?

Mulder: What's now Scully?

Scully: There's a giant tentacled robot behind you and it looks quite mad.

Mulder: Later, Scully. I think I've found a new clue for my sister's abduction!

Itay Shlamkovich | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: WATCH THOSE TENTACLES!!! WATCH THOSE TENTACLES!!!

Frodo Underhill | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: See? See? I told you there was such a thing as El Chupacabra!

Scully: Puh-leez. Mulder, that is a tentacled robot demon that bears no resemblance in any way to your mexican goat sucker man.

Mulder: Scully, help me out here and take a closer look. I swear it has buck teeth.

AndiBethXF | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Scully: "I assure you, Mr. Robot, Mulder meant tentacle, not testicle."

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: "That alien-cyborg, pick-pocket is around here somewhere, Scully!"

Scully: "Uh, Mulder....."

Aaron Slack | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Scully: "Don't be a baby, Mulder. The quicker they can do an unspeakable probing of our bodily orifices, the sooner this abduction will end."

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Monster: "Don't leave my office yet! I'm not finished with you Agent Mulder!!"

Scully: "Skinner was a lot nicer before he became a mutant cyborg."

Aaron Slack | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder's stark, emotionless demeanor has lead to a misunderstanding with an burly android.

Scully: "Listen, he is so deadpan that even I suspect he may be one of you, but though he may act just like your high school sweetheart, Mr. Robot, alas, he is not her."

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

"I ride shotgun!!"

"No you don't, Mulder!"

"AHHH! Save my place in the car, Scully!"

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: "Oh, Scully, baby. Squeeze me tighter!"

Scully: "Monster, you heard the man. Give him a big squeeze."

x-filer extordiare | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: No, don't tell me. Let me guess. Another one of your ex-boyfriends turned evil monster is at this very moment right behind me, preparing to rip off my legs in a fit of rage. Right?

Scully: Don't be ridiculous, Mulder. He was NEVER my boyfriend. We never even went on a date!

Mulder: Oh, really?

Scully: Well, maybe just once. But it didn't count--it was at a rodeo.

Mulder: Is he going to rip my legs off now or what?

Kawcrow | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: I'm out of here Scully, you're scaring me.

Scully: Hand over your lunch money, Mulder.

Robot: You want me to flip him upside down?

Mulder (whimpers): I'm gonna tell Skinner.

Scully: OK Robo-Krycek, take him out.

Jacob | March 28, 1999

--------------------

"Mulder, why do you always have to jump ahead? It was 'put your left hand in', not your whole self!"

-Agent Scully teaches Mulder a thing or two about the Hokey-Pokey

Kate | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: I can't believe Krycek is Scully's new partner. Maybe I should replace my body parts with prosthetic enhancements too.

Krycek: I can beat you with my tentacles, Mulder.

Mulder: Isn't that how you like to beat yourself?...OW!

Sorceror | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder stands still as the tailor measures his waist line for a new suit. Scully stares in amazement.

Scully: "A little higher...just a little higher..."

TripleAgent | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: Um, Scully, did you get a manicure? Your hands feel kind of strange...

Scully: [snickers]

Anne Packrat | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Umm... Mulder? Are you sure you wanted to volunteer for that alien anal probe?

Kieran | March 29, 1999

--------------------

Scully finally devises a foolproof way to keep Mulder from going on these wild goose chases.

Lori | March 29, 1999

--------------------

In a barbaric display of . . . well, barbarism, the massive robot from PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) puts Mulder through his paces.

"Mush! I said, MUSH!"

Melvin F. | March 29, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: Um, Scully? Would you find me less of a man if I told you that I was really excited right now?

jENNI | March 29, 1999

--------------------

Scully: Mulder, he's just trying to make friends!

Mulder: I just don't think he needs to put his tentacles THERE!

melanie | March 30, 1999

--------------------

After Krycek finished programming the nanomachines in Skinner's bloodstream, the AD soon discovered the advantages of being a cyborg - for one thing, Mulder would never again leave his boss' office without being properly dismissed.

X-Lydia | March 30, 1999

--------------------

SCULLY: Hey Mulder let me introduce you to my Gynecologist, He says he could also be your Proctologist...

MULDER: Lower, lower a little bit to the left... AHH that's the ticket....

Rick Maier | March 30, 1999

--------------------

Gee, Scul do you think they make a female version of one of these.

Ivana Szady | March 31, 1999

--------------------

Don't worry! If I can't tie you down, neither can he!

Carrie | March 31, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: "Sc..Scully! He's got me!

Scully: "What's the matter Mulder, don't you know how to do the Bunny Hop?"

Strawberryshake | March 31, 1999

--------------------

Scully: "No Mulder, he didn't say he wanted to show you a "stethescope"..He said he wants to do a 'rectal probe'!"

Strawberryshake | March 31, 1999

--------------------

Scully: Now just hold still, Mulder, while we complete this prostate & colon examination.

Mulder: Why do you have to try everything from "Medical Device of the Month Club" on me?

Joy Zeh | March 31, 1999

--------------------

Hey, watch where you're putting those!

Tyler Curtis | March 31, 1999

--------------------

mulder: "WHOA! easy! that's NOT my cell phone!"

puddlesky | March 31, 1999

--------------------

If you thought Mulder screamed like a girl before, wait until he sees the proctologist Scully recommended...

Cuts | March 31, 1999

--------------------

not too good

alex | April 1, 1999

--------------------

Scully: Would it kill you to give the guy a hug?

Mulder: Can't you see the look in his eyes? I don't want to lead him on.

RANd-dog | April 1, 1999

--------------------

Scully: No, Mulder, You can't borrow it. What were you doing going through my bedside table drawers, anyway?!

Kathryn | April 1, 1999

--------------------

Scully: I told you if you dropped your cellphone in that nuclear reactor...

Samantha | April 1, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: Damn! I wish the colonists would cut out the anal probes.

Scully: Stop squirming. I've almost got it out.

Wergel | April 1, 1999

--------------------

Scully: Mulder, your attempt at setting me up with that vampire didn't work, what made you think this would work out any better?

Mel | April 1, 1999

--------------------

Awe common Mulder give em a hug!

Ray Bohac | April 2, 1999

--------------------

Scully: And then they stuck the probe up here... and then they put it under there... Honestly Mulder, I think your fixation with my abduction is really going too far.

Mulder: UUGGGHHH! Scully, I have to try to understand the process...OOWWWW!! (Gasping) I didn't even know there was something there to probe!

Kyle Hancock | April 2, 1999

--------------------

Scully: "Wait a minute! I'll get you the WD-40!"

hurricane bonnie | April 2, 1999

--------------------

Oh no! Who is this evil villain with Mulder in his grasp?
Will Mulder and Scully ever escape his clutches?
Could this be the end of our paranormal heroes?
Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion.

Same X-time,
Same X-channel!

Lori | April 2, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: "I swear I didn't know the Macarena was out of style now!!! I swear!"

Scully: "You meet the strangest people in these foreign dance clubs."

Tentacled Bouncer: "I AM ACHING TO DESTROY YOU, FLOMENKOV! DIE THE DEATH OF THE NONBELIEVER!"

WhiteWolf | April 2, 1999

--------------------

No more

A.T. | April 3, 1999

--------------------

Scully: Ummm....Mulder.....Do you see what I see?

Mulder: Do you believe me now? THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!!!! DO YOU SEE ???? IT IS, IT IS, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And The Winner Is...

Look Mulder! I finally fixed Agent Pendrell!

From the mind of Lori April 2, 1999

The Runners Up

Missing scene from "One Son"

Scully: Alright I'll get in the shower Fowley just call it off!

BGK | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder" "Uh, Scully, I really hope that's 'your' hand on my thigh."

Scully: "Oh sure, two single men in the room and they dance with each other!"

Strawberryshake | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Scully: Tell me again how you exchanged "professional information" with Karen...

Mulder: Scully, let me go, and I'll never go online again!! I promise!

Adrienne | March 30, 1999

--------------------

Scully: "Don't look at me, Skinner. It was Mulder's bright idea to give Borg technology to your nanoprobes."

Mulder: "Uh, I gotta go feed my fish..."

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

After a heated argument with Mulder, Bill Scully loses his temper and embarks on a rampage as Dana attempts to mediate.

Lori | March 29, 1999

The Contenders (in chronological order)

Scully: Eh, Mulder?

Mulder: What's now Scully?

Scully: There's a giant tentacled robot behind you and it looks quite mad.

Mulder: Later, Scully. I think I've found a new clue for my sister's abduction!

Itay Shlamkovich | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: WATCH THOSE TENTACLES!!! WATCH THOSE TENTACLES!!!

Frodo Underhill | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: See? See? I told you there was such a thing as El Chupacabra!

Scully: Puh-leez. Mulder, that is a tentacled robot demon that bears no resemblance in any way to your mexican goat sucker man.

Mulder: Scully, help me out here and take a closer look. I swear it has buck teeth.

AndiBethXF | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Scully: "I assure you, Mr. Robot, Mulder meant tentacle, not testicle."

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: "That alien-cyborg, pick-pocket is around here somewhere, Scully!"

Scully: "Uh, Mulder....."

Aaron Slack | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Scully: "Don't be a baby, Mulder. The quicker they can do an unspeakable probing of our bodily orifices, the sooner this abduction will end."

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Monster: "Don't leave my office yet! I'm not finished with you Agent Mulder!!"

Scully: "Skinner was a lot nicer before he became a mutant cyborg."

Aaron Slack | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder's stark, emotionless demeanor has lead to a misunderstanding with an burly android.

Scully: "Listen, he is so deadpan that even I suspect he may be one of you, but though he may act just like your high school sweetheart, Mr. Robot, alas, he is not her."

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

"I ride shotgun!!"

"No you don't, Mulder!"

"AHHH! Save my place in the car, Scully!"

Lunchlady Doris | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: "Oh, Scully, baby. Squeeze me tighter!"

Scully: "Monster, you heard the man. Give him a big squeeze."

x-filer extordiare | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: No, don't tell me. Let me guess. Another one of your ex-boyfriends turned evil monster is at this very moment right behind me, preparing to rip off my legs in a fit of rage. Right?

Scully: Don't be ridiculous, Mulder. He was NEVER my boyfriend. We never even went on a date!

Mulder: Oh, really?

Scully: Well, maybe just once. But it didn't count--it was at a rodeo.

Mulder: Is he going to rip my legs off now or what?

Kawcrow | March 28, 1999

--------------------

Mulder: I'm out of here Scully, you're scaring me.

Scully: Hand over your lunch money, Mulder.

Robot: You want me to flip him upside down?

Mulder (whimpers): I'm gonna tell Skinner.

Scully: OK Robo-Krycek, take him out.

Jacob | March 28, 1999

--------------------

"Mulder, why do you always have to jump ahead? It was 'put your left hand in', not your whole self!"

-Agent Scully teaches Mulder a thing or two about the Hokey-Pokey

From the mind of Lori
April 2, 1999

The Contenders
(in chronological order)