Mulder gets up from bed and, as he passes a mirror, sees the reflection of his younger self, 11-12 years old. He joins Sam at the upstairs railing and, as they look down into the living room, he sees his parents fighting.


He calls Scully and wakes her at 4:50 in the morning. He tells Scully he's covered in blood and when she asks if he's hurt, he says he doesn't think so. He doesn't think it's his blood.


He thinks the house has some meaning to him. They find out the house is 20 miles away and Mulder says his parents' summer house was in the same vicinity.


Mulder falls to his knees, clutching his head as if a terrible pain is ripping through him. Flashes of "memory" begin to assail him. His mother saying, "How can you do this to our family," and his father, "I'm not doing it. It's not just me. These orders are coming down from on high."


As Mulder rolls over the male victim's body and looks questioningly at Scully, she gazes back at him with an indefinable mixture of confusion, sympathy, worry, and fear...fear for him.


He tells Mulder his gun was the murder weapon. He's also had the blood on Mulder's shirt tested and it matches the blood type of both victims. Mulder tells him he won't get a confession because he doesn't remember anything.


Scully hears a gunshot as she exits, and rushes back to the cell with the others, finding the officer dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. She finds the puncture wound at his hairline and asks to talk to the detective immediately.


Scully finds an "Abductee" magazine in the house with a feature photo on the cover of Amy Cassandra. Scully tells the detective that both the officer and Amy had a deep puncture in the cranium going through to the brain.


His father slams the door between them and Fox runs upstairs to Samantha. Downstairs their parents are now fighting and Mrs. Mulder keeps repeating, "Not Samantha."


Scully says it's beginning to look like a murder-suicide which still doesn't explain why Mulder was there. She tells him that she believes he contacted Amy because he thought she was an alien abductee. Amy was seeking psychiatric treatment that was supposed to be effective in recovering her past.


The doctor denies having met Mulder but speaks freely of his attempt to help Amy access repressed memories. He tells them he uses a method to electrically stimulate the brain using light and sound. He doesn't mention puncturing their craniums.


Mulder says Goldstein is lying, that he was here before with Amy. Scully says she thinks they were both treated with the drug and the seizures and black-outs are a result of the treatment that Goldstein administered.


Mulder thinks he has access to his past memories that might reveal what happened to Samantha. He wants the car keys so he can go to Connecticut to see his mother and Scully finally agrees. But she's driving.


Fox: (defiantly) You had some kind of relationship with him. MaMulder: Who? Fox: You know who. The man who worked with my father. The man who came to you that night when I was 12 and forced you to choose Samantha. MaMulder: No, Fox. Fox: Yes! You betrayed my father.


Mulder goes back to Goldstein's office that evening and asks what was done to him. When Goldstein says he did nothing wrong, Mulder points out that he put a hole in his head. Goldstein tells him it was to deliver electrical stimulation directly to the brain to trigger memory. Mulder says he wants him to finish the job.


Mulder sees a collage of scattered memories from his previous flashback hallucinations along with his past recollections from the night of Samantha's abduction. While Mulder is in the midst of this barrage, Goldstein puts restraints on his arms and powers up what looks like a small drill (!).


When Scully shows up, she learns that Mulder has already left and she forces some information out of the good doctor. He finally tells her that the last thing Mulder said to him was that he was going to exorcise his demons.


Mulder's sitting in a chair in the middle of a room in a trace-like state, experiencing flashback visions. "It's all falling into place," he manages to say amidst his panting and gasping.


"This is not the way to the truth, Mulder. You've got to trust me." Mulder yells, "Just shut up!" Scully presses on, saying, "Put the gun down. Let it go."


But if that knowledge remains elusive, and if it's only by knowing where he's been that he can hope to understand where he's going, then I fear Agent Mulder may lose his course and the truths he's seeking from his childhood will continue to evade him, driving him more dangerously forward in impossible pursuit.

 

 

 

 

 

Season Four

kbottleDemons

This episode opens with a strange flashback/dream quality sequence. A grown Mulder is shaken awake by his young sister Samantha. The "memory" has a choppy, hallucinatory quality. There are voices in the background, a woman's voice predominately, and they're fighting. Mulder gets up from bed and, as he passes a mirror, sees the reflection of his younger self, 11-12 years old. He joins Sam at the upstairs railing and, as they look down into the living room, he sees his parents fighting. The only words I can make out are "my baby". Sam turns to Mulder saying, "I'm afraid, Fox. I'm afraid."

We see Mulder waking from this dream recollection in the present day. He finds himself in a strange room, lying on the floor. As he picks himself up and sits on the bed disoriented, he realizes he's covered in blood. He calls Scully and wakes her at 4:50 in the morning. She wants to know what's wrong and where he is. He doesn't know what happened but he knows where he is by the motel key in his possession. It's a motel in Providence, Rhode Island. He tells Scully he's covered in blood and when she asks if he's hurt, he says he doesn't think so. He doesn't think it's his blood.

When Scully arrives, Mulder's in shock and has no memory of how he got there or what he's been doing there. Scully finds that two rounds have been fired from his gun but he doesn't remember that either. Scully wants Mulder to see a doctor in case he's suffering from encephalitis or some kind of aneurysm, but Mulder wants to investigate the crime if in fact one has occurred. She tells him that first he needs to take care of himself and she repeats this throughout the episode. But her warning and concern falls on deaf ears. Mulder finds a set of keys that aren't his and they open a car in the motel lot that has blood on the steering wheel. Following the address found on the car's registration, they head to the house of David Cassandra in search of more clues.

When they reach the house, the housekeeper says the Cassandras are out and she doesn't know where they are. Mulder is drawn to a painting on the wall. It's a picture of an old house and when he inquires, he's told it is a favorite study of Amy Cassandra, David Cassandra's wife. The housekeeper says it's the house Amy grew up in but Mulder seems to recognize the house. He thinks it has some meaning to him. They find out that the house is 20 miles away and Mulder says his parents' summer house was in the same vicinity. When they arrive, Scully is noting that the house appears abandoned when Mulder falls to his knees, clutching his head as if a terrible pain is ripping through him. Flashes of "memory" begin to assail him. His mother saying, "How can you do this to our family," and his father, "I'm not doing it. It's not just me. These orders are coming down from on high." Mulder sees himself, first as an adult then as a boy, walking toward the shouting. His father appears in a doorway, looks at Mulder, then slams the door shut. As the young Mulder turns away, he sees another man in the house. A man smoking a cigarette who says, "You're a little spy."

When Mulder comes to, he's lying on the ground with a justifiably concerned Scully leaning over him. She warned him, even saying he might have an aneurysm that could drop him in a second. But he's as stubborn now as when she first brought up a visit to the hospital. Using a key from the same keyring, Mulder opens the house to find that it's not exactly abandoned. They find the bodies of Amy and David Cassandra, each with a gunshot wound to the heart. As Mulder rolls over the male victim's body and looks questioningly at Scully, she gazes back at him with an indefinable mixture of confusion, sympathy, worry, and fear...fear for him.

The partners call the police, but Scully informs them that Mulder is suffering from some type of seizure and needs treatment prior to questioning. The detective seems a bit suspicious. He asks Mulder if he knew the victims but Mulder's answer to all his questions is that he can't remember. The detective wants him down at the station but Scully's lobbying for the hospital. He agrees but "offers" Mulder a ride. Scully tells Mulder to say nothing until she can look at the bodies and the forensic reports. While examining the bodies, she finds a puncture wound on the head of Amy Cassandra. It's at the top of the forehead, near the hairline, and Scully asks the pathologist to also run a craniotomy and histological exam.

Meanwhile, Mulder is in a holding cell being questioned by the detective. He wants to know if Mulder wants to change his story, the part about only possibly being in that house as a kid. For starters, he tells Mulder his gun was the murder weapon. He's also had the blood on Mulder's shirt tested and it matches the blood type of both victims. Mulder asks about the prints in the house but the detective seems to be waiting for some other response. Mulder tells him he won't get a confession because he doesn't remember anything. The detective arrests him and reads him his rights. Mulder gets a nifty orange jumpsuit and a visit from Scully who says she's going to get him out of there.

Scully tells the detective that there's medical evidence he should consider. Amy was found to have an anesthetic in her blood called ketamine, a drug that can cause hallucinations in humans. She says the drug is also in Mulder's system and could explain his memory loss and other symptoms. The detective feels the other evidence outweighs the news about ketamine and doesn't budge on Mulder's arrest. Mulder tells Scully she doesn't have to go the extra mile for him. She's convinced of his innocence, saying it's all too convenient and suspect.

As the detective takes Mulder to his cell and Scully is leaving, we see a police officer walk into an empty cell and pull out a picture of three women with the face of a man cut out. We actually saw this man earlier in the episode in a brief sequence where he sat at a table cutting his face out of a stack of pictures with an exacto knife as blood seeped down his forehead from a small puncture wound near his hairline. Scully hears a gunshot as she exits, and rushes back to the cell with the others, finding the officer dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. She finds the puncture wound at his hairline and asks to talk to the detective immediately. This is Scully in action, in her best investigative form. An agent with a mission.

The detective and Scully search the officer's house, finding all the pictures. He tells Scully the guy had been demoted to a desk job recently and was thought of as a joke by his co-workers because he believed in extraterrestrials. Scully finds an "Abductee" magazine in the house with a feature photo on the cover of Amy Cassandra. Scully tells the detective that both the officer and Amy had a deep puncture in the cranium going through to the brain. She says the officer knew of Amy and somehow his suicide is linked to her death. Scully thinks the Cassandras' deaths might not have been murder but more like a suicide pact.

Meanwhile, Mulder is tossing and turning in his cell, having another nightmare/flashback. CSM and Bill Mulder are arguing as the young Mulder stands watching. His father slams the door between them and Fox runs upstairs to Samantha. Downstairs their parents are now fighting and Mrs. Mulder keeps repeating, "Not Samantha." Fox looks down from the loft and his father looks up and sees him watching, then Mulder is awake.

When Scully arrives in the morning she is told that Mulder kept everyone awake all night and into the morning yelling for someone to talk to. The detective says he wants to talk to Scully, that his memories are probably coming back to him. His first words are that he didn't kill the Cassandras and Scully agrees, saying she thinks she has enough proof to get him out. She says it's beginning to look like a murder-suicide which still doesn't explain why Mulder was there. She tells him that she believes he contacted Amy because he thought she was an alien abductee. Amy was seeking psychiatric treatment that was supposed to be effective in recovering her past. Scully thinks Amy and the officer were suffering from a syndrome brought on by their treatment that caused them to enter trance-like states leading to vivid dreams of the past.

Scully gets Mulder arraigned and released and together they go to visit Dr. Goldstein who was responsible for the victims' treatment. They find Mulder's car in the lot so it seems he's been there before. The doctor denies having met Mulder but speaks freely of his attempt to help Amy access repressed memories. He tells them he uses a method to electrically stimulate the brain using light and sound. He doesn't mention puncturing their craniums. Mulder asks if this is an accepted form of medical treatment. Goldstein says that it's unconventional but non-invasive. He must be repressing the part about puncturing their cranium. The doctor becomes agitated and very defensive about his ethics and reputation when they ask if he had any indication that his patients were suicidal. Scully holds eye contact with Goldstein and says, "I know what you do," before she and Mulder leave his office.

As they leave, Mulder says Goldstein is lying, that he was here before with Amy. Scully says she thinks they were both treated with the drug and the seizures and black-outs are a result of the treatment that Goldstein administered. In the parking lot, Mulder has another episode and sees the face of his mother as she cries out, "My baby!" while being shaken by CSM. When he recovers, he tells Scully, "I'm fine." Despite this being HER favorite answer, she balks, saying he doesn't belong at work. She tells him he needs to be somewhere that he can be monitored because , as it stands, he's a danger to himself as well as her. He asks for the car keys and when she denies him, he tells her he doesn't want the symptoms to go away. He wants to remember, maybe at any cost. He thinks he has access to his past memories that might reveal what happened to Samantha. He wants the car keys so he can go to Connecticut to see his mother and Scully finally agrees. But she's driving.

Walking right past his mother into the house without a word, Mulder begins to drill his her in front of an embarrassed Scully. With his head down, avoiding eye contact like a truculent youth, Mulder accuses her of keeping secrets from him. (Big surprise.) Turning to Scully for help, Mrs. Mulder asks what is wrong with her son. Scully tells her that he's undergone some treatment that he believes has helped him to remember things.

MaMulder: Remember what? Fox: You told me that when they took Samantha it was because you had to make a choice but that's not how it happened. It wasn't your choice to make. M: What do you want to hear from me? F: I want to know what happened that night on Quonochontaug and I need to speak to you privately. As they step into the next room, the anger is already obvious in his mother's countenance and the way she throws open the door. F: (defiantly) You had some kind of relationship with him. M: Who? F: You know who. The man who worked with my father. The man who came to you that night when I was 12 and forced you to choose Samantha. M: No, Fox. F: Yes! You betrayed my father. Your husband. M: Never! F: How far back did it go? Mrs. Mulder delivers a well-earned slap across Mulder's face. His mental state and possible justification aside, he's out of line talking to his mother this way in her home. M: How dare you . How dare you come here and accuse me. F: WHO is my father?! M: What do you want? To kill him again?! F: Just answer the question, Mom. Just answer the question! M: I am your mother. And I will not tolerate any more of your questions. As she walks out, she tells Mulder he's bleeding and, reaching up, he finds blood running down from a wound near his hairline.

When Mrs. Mulder rushes by Scully and up the stairs, Scully goes to check on Mulder and finds the room empty. He's gone out another door and ditched Scully, in his own house. Mulder goes back to Goldstein's office that evening and asks what was done to him. When Goldstein says he did nothing wrong, Mulder points out that he put a hole in his head. Goldstein tells him it was to deliver electrical stimulation directly to the brain to trigger memory. Mulder says he wants him to finish the job. Anyone who has been blind to Mulder's slide from professionalism into obsession over this season, can't overlook the extreme nature of Mulder's current behavior. And of course, it gets worse before it gets better.

Giving Mulder a shot of ketamine, the doctor helps him into a dentist-type chair and puts headphones on him as Mulder mutters, "I want to remember." Goldstein puts some virtual reality-like glasses over Mulder's eyes then flips a switch that begins sending flashes of light. Mulder sees multiple flashes and bits of flashbacks. CSM drawing Samantha's head down to his chest, CSM shaking Mrs. Mulder, Bill Mulder slamming a door in his face, CSM calling him a little spy. Basically, it's a collage of scattered memories from his previous flashback hallucinations along with his past recollections from the night of Samantha's abduction. While Mulder is in the midst of this barrage, Goldstein puts restraints on his arms and powers up what looks like a small drill (!). Although we don't actually see it, the implication is quite clear that Goldstein drills through Mulder's cranium and into his brain. All sanctioned by the patient, albeit a disturbed patient.

The poor ditched Scully has figured on the only place she thinks Mulder will go and, of course, she's right. She calls ahead to get the cops to Goldstein's office but when they arrive they only find Goldstein cleaning his drill bit. Mulder is gone. When Scully shows up, she learns that Mulder has already left and she forces some information out of the good doctor. He finally tells her that the last thing Mulder said to him was that he was going to exorcise his demons. Scully calls ahead to Quonochontaug to alert the police and get them to the Mulder summer house, but Mulder beats them to the scene and is already in the house when they arrive. When Scully arrives, she tells the officer in charge that Mulder is an armed federal agent in need of medical attention. She says he is not himself. She tells him that she's going in alone but wants him to instruct his men not to shoot if Mulder flees the house. Then she pats the guy on the butt, like she's breaking a huddle! Sorry, just a useless factoid.

Scully enters the house and draws her gun. Better safe than sorry. She calls to Mulder and in return hears, "Leave me alone, Scully." He's sitting in a chair in the middle of a room in a trace-like state, experiencing flashback visions. "It's all falling into place," he manages to say amidst his panting and gasping. Seeing the gun in his hand, Scully asks him to put it down but he tells her not to try to stop him. He wants these memories even as they are destroying his mind. With visions of Samantha's face, then CSM's, Mulder suddenly seems to snap awake and, bringing the gun to bear on Scully, shouts, "Get away!" "Are you going to shoot me, Mulder?" Scully asks. Mulder shakes his head in the affirmative. Scully continues, "Is that how much this means to you?" She tells him that he's been given a powerful hallucinogen and doesn't know if these memories are really his. "This is not the way to the truth, Mulder. You've got to trust me." Mulder yells, "Just shut up!" Scully presses on, saying, "Put the gun down. Let it go."

As we cut to the waiting police outside, there are multiple gunshots as Mulder empties his gun. The cops break for the house. As Mulder lowers the gun, we see Scully standing behind him. He lowers his head and Scully comes up and holds him from behind, placing her head on his bowed back. The closed captions, but not the audio, has Mulder saying, "I'm so tired. I need to know, Scully. I just need to know."

A final voice-over from Scully as she types a report on her laptop tells us that Mulder was cleared of any wrongdoing in the deaths of the Cassandras. She says he still has no memory of the events. His seizures have subsided with no evidence of permanent brain damage. "But I'm concerned that this experience will have a lasting effect. Agent Mulder undertook this treatment hoping to lay claim to his past. That by retrieving memories lost to him he might finally understand the path he's on. But if that knowledge remains elusive, and if it's only by knowing where he's been that he can hope to understand where he's going, then I fear Agent Mulder may lose his course and the truths he's seeking from his childhood will continue to evade him, driving him more dangerously forward in impossible pursuit."


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