Q: Why Did the Rubber Ducky Cross the Road?

Inspired by "So why did the Chicken Cross the Road?"

Submit your own entry!

Below you!
  • Author: Redux253

    Leonard Betts: I don't know, but the rubber ducky has something that I need...

  • Author: Marita

    Win Shroeder: Oh no no no no no. No rubber duckies are allowed to cross any roads at the Falls in Arcadia. That would not be aesthetically pleasing...
    Big Mike: But if he is under 16 pounds, you can consider keeping him as a pet.

  • Author: Unknown

    The Eves: It just knew.

  • Author: Redux253

    D.P.O.: I feel like some roasted duck...

  • Author: Marita

    Clyde Bruckman: One day, when the rubber ducky crosses the road, a kid in a red bicycle will be coming around the corner...lemon merange!
    Q: Mr. Bruckman?
    Clyde Bruckman: Banana cream pie. That's it.

  • Author: Unknown

    Luther Lee Boggs: I can see...the rubber ducky. Yes, the rubber ducky. It is in pain, great pain, and oh god! The road, the road, it's going to cross the road.

  • Author: Redux253

    John Lee Roche: I remember that night like it was yesterday...the night the rubber ducky crossed the road. There was this bright light...the rubber ducky tried to get out of the way. I'll give him credit for that. I was there, the bright lights were headlights...and the rubber ducky was gone. I sold a vacuum cleaner to that rubber ducky, you know...back in 73...

  • Author: Marita

    Bambi Berenbaum: I believe that UFOs are nocturnal rubber ducky-swarms attempting to cross the road.
    [silence]
    Scully: Your name is Bambi?

  • Author: Unknown

    Terri: The rubber ducky killed Mr. Tippy.
    Margi: Hate him, hate him, wouldn't want to date him.

  • Author: Redux253

    Ed Jerse's tattoo: See? No one likes you. The rubber ducky is crossing the road to get away from you...

  • Author: Marita

    Gibson Praise: You've got a dirty, dirty mind.

  • Author: Unknown

    Madame Zirinka: You want me to tell you why the rubber ducky crossed the road? Business hours are from 9-5, all major credit cards accepted.

  • Author: Marita

    The Great Mutato: As time passed by, the rubber ducky grew restless for friends of his own...is he walking in Memphis, by the way?

  • Author: Unknown

    Robert Modell: The other side of the road looks interesting. The sky looks so blue over there, cerulean blue. I bet you want to go to the other side of the road. Go on, cross the road.

  • Author: Marita

    Marita Covarrubias: [looks at Krycek] What am I supposed to tell them?
    Alex Krycek: Tell them the duckies are all going to hell.
    Marita Covarrubias: [to Q] The duckies are all going to hell.

  • Author: Unknown

    Jose Chung: I interviewed the rubber ducky several times, over the course of three weeks. And each time I interviewed him, I got a different story. Truth really is as subjective as reality. By the way, do you know if he prefers the term "crosser" or "transportee"?

  • Author: Marita

    Chinga: I want to play...with the rubber ducky.
    Record Player: Put your left hand in, take your left hand out, put your left hand in and shake it all about. You do the rubber ducky and you walk across the road. That's what it's all about!
    Q: That doesn't answer anything.
    [pause]
    Chinga: I want to play...

  • Author: Unknown

    The Men in Black: No object has been mistaken more for a rubber ducky than the planet Venus. You never saw a rubber ducky.

  • Author: Marita

    Chris Carter: I would say that the rubber ducky's journey is analogous to Mulder's journey.
    Q: Many have compared Samantha to the Holy Grail. What would you say is the rubber ducky's Holy Grail?
    Chris Carter: In other words, why did the rubber ducky cross the road?
    Q: We don't know.

  • Author: Unknown

    Detective Manners: They just found your bleepin' chicken.

  • Author: Marita

    Scully: Do you mean to tell me a rubber duck just got up and walked across the road?

  • Author: Unknown

    Chris Carter: I always said I'd never show a real live chicken until after the fifth season.

  • Author: Jennifer Swain

    David Duchovny: If I see Rob or Chris or anybody walking down the street outside of work I just run. Maybe the rubber ducky feels the same way about me.


Submit your own "Whys" with this form, or email it to MaritaSRSG@aol.com with the subject line as "Rubber Ducky." Not all entries will be accepted, but if they are posted, you will be credited.

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This rubber chicken deal was inspired by "Why did the chicken cross the road," apparently some fan e-mail that has been going around. Here's one version of it.

Episode Details For the Detail-Obsessed X-PhileMaritaSRSG@aol.com

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