Excerpted from
Paroxysms of Joy: Memoirs of a Emotional Vulcan
Admiral Yatoh Senes Derch, 2452
He’s an imposing sight, this can be said for certain. Were he to stand erect, he would make some seven and a half feet. Fortunately, he never (or rarely) does so. You will usually find him crouched at a height of between five and six feet, generally just below the eyes of whoever he is speaking with. For some reason I have never been able to discern, he seems to like looking up at people.
When he is not being careful with his limbs, he has a habit of letting them fall about all over the place, tending to expand his already considerable width to a practical span of at least three feet. His crouch and his tail, generally swaying, make his length (or depth depending on your point of view) a good four or five feet. This space he fills quite convincingly with his 350-lb body mass.
His face is surprisingly communicative considering his biological origins. After only a few months of regular contact it is possible to discern clear emotions simply from the way he holds his solid black eyes and razor jaws.
He is, as I said, a fearsome sight. However, as sight is rarely the only sense available to the sentient being, there is more. Kalln’s body, like that of all his race, is equipped with a comprehensive set of pheromone glands. Whilst normally used only during the mating process, Kalln constantly exudes very small amounts of mild pheromone into the atmosphere, far too weak to be an attractant or aphrodisiac, but just enough to relax the recipient and put them off their guard. In general, this serves only to offset the immediacy of his appearance. However, once you are used to his presence and no longer find his visage intimidating, the chemical can become quite an effective stress reliever and relaxant. It is sometimes difficult to get angry around Kalln.
Where you may have the misfortune to find yourself in a time of crisis with Kalln is not my place to try and guess. You may be under fire, personally or in starships, attempting to survive a natural disaster, or just playing Parisses Squares with him in a holonet. Whatever the circumstances, I can at least say this: his body is quite useful. He is strong, fast, resourceful, and willing to do whatever needs doing to get the job done. His mouth, unfortunately, seems at this point always to come under the sway of some otherworldly life form, and he can be relied upon to comment (generally sarcastically) on every event, statement or action that occurs. This can be infuriating in the heat of the moment, but anyone who studies Gnalish Elt in some detail will find that culturally (and indeed genetically) it is their way of dealing with the stress of the situation. Many things we forgive on cultural grounds. I am a Vulcan, we forgive and are forgiven a great deal.
By the time you read this we may already have entered the period of galactic peace. Otherwise, you will find that times of respite are when you find Kalln at his best. His species only requires a few hours sleep each day, and you will often find that Kalln seems to be everywhere at once. This is a deception, obviously. Not even the Psikune displayed that kind of power. But so many people will see and interact with Kalln during his twenty-four hour period that most assume he never does anything else, including duty shifts.
In conversation Kalln is knowledgeable, witty, sarcastic (again) and generally puts himself in good stead. One of his pet hates is Klingon honour (he was once inducted into a noble House and has regretted it ever since), another is cultural discrimination (something he will happily back up by displaying any one of a number of ‘normal’ behaviours - you are advised to keep well away). By the time I write this we are both very wise individuals indeed, but while I prefer to act in a manner so becoming one of my advanced age, Kalln still has more than half his life ahead of him, and is not afraid to share anything with anyone. If you want to know why the Theroptirans of Kalas are purple, ask him, but don’t expect a short answer. Exobiology and Exozoology are his specialist subject. He studied Stellar Cartography in some depth with Raleigh, myself and the others in our sojourn at the Academy, but the subject has never really grasped him.
In recent years, Kalln has begun to cope better with the traumas of both the destruction of the Gort and his later capture by ******* **. Before the 25th century, however, he still undertook numerous counselling sessions, in combination with the anti-depressants particular to his people. In general this helps him to avoid the terrible, black depression I have seen him enter once or twice in his life, but it would be my advice to avoid him in the early mornings just after he awakens.