So, you'd like to take a little vengeance in this reality as well as in R², huh? Well then, who better to take it on than those pestiferous spammers choking your mailbox with crap? As you may or may not know, unsolicited mass e-mailing is illegal. Almost certainly, the e-mail and/or website providers behind these spammers do not realize how their clients are abusing their systems. Once you make them aware of the problem, they'll either give the offenders a warning or maybe (if you're lucky) boot them off their server. Either way, you won't be spammed by that particular moron again.
     Okay, so how do you find out whose server is behind a particular piece of sh-- uh, spam? Here are some step-by-step instructions, using as an example a real spam letter I got in the mail this morning. I'm copying it here exactly as it came to me, grammatical errors and all (These spammers aren't a terribly literate bunch, you know. See how many spelling, capitalization and punctuation errors you can find in their message!). Skip down to here to have a look, then jump back to the top of the page.

1. Identifying the server from which the spam was sent.

   1. Turn on the "Show Mail Headers" option in your e-mail system so you'll have access to all available information on this piece of spam trash.

   2. Find the line that says "Received from." If you find more than one of "Received from" line, go to the last one. (Want another look at this piece of spam? Here you go!)

   3. It's important to realize that a lot of the header information you see on a piece of spam could be forged. In fact, on the spam below, my e-mail service has helpfully notified me of just that. Fortunately, there is one part of the "Received from" information you can always trust: the part in parentheses and/or brackets (even though the "may be forged" line might actually be inside the parentheses. Just trust me on this, okay?).

   4. Copy the multi-part numerical code you find in the brackets and run it through a tracing system (I always use the one at http://www.cw-usa.net/internet/traceindex.html. All you have to do is paste the code into that little box and hit "enter."). You'll probably find a long list of "nodes" through which this spam passed before it shat--uh, spat--itself out in your mailbox. Fortunately, you only need to look at the next-to-last one. The piece of spam below yielded a list of 30 nodes, the next-to-last of which was this:

      29 * juno-t3-gw.customer.ALTER.NET (157.130.9.194) 45 ms *

      (If you want to see the complete list of nodes, just look here).

   5. Notice that the first half of this item looks a bit like a URL. As a matter of fact, the last two segments of it do lead you to the URL, which you can complete by simply adding in "http://www." (as in, "http://www.alter.net"). Now you've found the originating server. Go there, find its "Contact Us" page and its address for e-mail abuse (usually "abuse@..."), and you're ready to write your complaint letter.

2. Writing the Complaint Letter

   1. First, remember to be polite; these people are being abused just like you are. I always say something like this: "I thought you'd like to know that your server is being used to send spam. I'm enclosing the entire text of the message to help you put a stop to this abuse. Thank you."

   2. Forward the spam message in its entirety, mail headers and all.

   3. Don't expect a response, at least, not a personal one. Sometimes you'll get an automated reply; sometimes you'll get nothing. But trust me, action will be taken. And every once in awhile you'll get a response thanking you for your help and informing you that the spammers have been booted off the system. That makes it all worth it. :-)

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