Happyface
Everything just falls into place.
I was in the zone. Now I've had my good days before, but that day I was kicking butt, everything just seemed to fall into place. With my expert training and all of my experience I have earned the reputation that comes with my name. All of the other mercinaries admire and respect the infamous Happyface. Well all exept one, my arch advisary Lady "M". She has always been an interesting mercinary to tangle with. Anyway, back to the story.
Earlier that day a foreign archaeologist and a represenitive of his government contacted me. They seemed embarassed, like they messed up big time. That's most likely why they came to me. I would get the job done and keep it real quiet. So anyway, this archaeologist was working with a scientist from around here. The scientist stiffed him on a discovery and came back here with it to put it on display. It was some ancient statue or something along those lines. At first the job didn't interest me, but when they told me about the advanced security system at the museum, I was sold, finally a challenge.
However upon arrival at the museum I discovered that the security system was not as advanced as it was said to be. I was able to open the skylight with my swiss army knife without setting of the alarm. Childs play, they must of bought this system on discount. Before I decended from the skylight, I dropped a heaping handfull of chalk dust. There were no lazers even close to the section of the floor below the skylight. Morons, who did they expect to stop with this security system. I caught a glimpse of the manufacturer. Heeney Electronics, figures. They see a happy commercial with some fool waving his arm and they'll buy any crap.
I used my grapel cable and dropped easily to the floor. I put on my infrared goggles and easily avoided the security lazers on my way to the statue. As I came around the final corner my mouth dropped open. There was the statue, but it was surrounded by one of the most advanced security systems I had ever seen. So this is what they were talking about. I decided that it would be quite a challenge to breach this turtle shell of a fortress.
I was seaching through my bag of tricks when I saw something coming at me from the corner of my eye. I blocked the kick mere inches before it touched my face. I sprang back into a defencive stance to face my opponent. Of course it was Lady "M", I expected no less. I was the first to break the ice.
"M, funny meeting you here. So tell me, who is running the underworld while you're away?" She obviously did not see the humor in that statement.
"Oh shut up Happyface or i'll rip off your arm and beat you with the wet end."
"As if you could hurt me." I said back to her in a mocking tone." She appartently fond that statement amusing.
"I could kill you with my big toe if I wanted to."
"Bring it on." She threw a few kicks, a few punches, and a few of whatever the heck the rest of those things were. Of course being the skilled fighter that I am, blocked them all. Well most of them anyway. I had the advantage, but I unfortunatly forgot that she doesn't exactly play fair. She got a hold of my hair and the next thing I knew I was on the floor with a splitting headache. She laughed and said to me.
"I win. I'm sorry to take you job, but you'll get over it. I'm sure that the people who hired you will be just as happy to pay to get this thing back from me as they would from you." My head hurt too much to protest.
I watched her kick off her shoes and climb up the side of the fortress protecting the statue. It was quite interesting to watch. She carefully bypassed the security system on the airvent and jumped into the fortress. She used mirrors to reflect the lazers and took the statue.
She climbed back through the vent and leaped out onto the floor. She began to walk toward me in a mocking victory strut. I was expected her to stick out her tougue and start saying nah- nah- nah- nah- nah. Then the impossible happened, a fatal error on her part that meant a lucky break on mine. She stopped suddenly, and tried to walk again but couldn't. She snarled.
"What is this? My foot is stuck." I smiled, she didn't see the adhesive section that was installed on the floor to slow down burglars. This was perfect, and since she was barefoot, she was stuck to the spot. She set down the statue, clenched her ancle and pulled, but it was no use. I grabbed the statue and quickly moved out of arms reach. She screamed at me.
"You jerk, give that back and help me get out of this." Now that was a really stupid question to ask. I of course laughed in her face.
"Now why would I do that? It looks like you'll be walking home with that section of the floor on your foot. Or you could always gnaw your foot off, the choice is yours of course." As I walked back toward the skylight I yelled back to her.
"Amature."
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