********
The chime of the Ready Room door sounded, surprising Janeway.
"Come in," she called out, wondering who would be needing to see her already.
The parting doors revealed a man of medium height, with slightly graying hair. Noting his rank, she surmised it was her new First Officer, Cavitt. He seemed a bit old to be a Commander, and a recent promotion at that. Perhaps he'd joined Starfleet later in life.
"Captain, Commander John Cavit, reporting for duty, Sir," he said formally, extending his hand.
"Commander," she acknowledged, motioning him to the seat before her desk. Taking a seat behind her work station she said, "I apologize for making you come to me, but I've had a lot of catching up to do. I was hoping to familiarize myself with more of the ship's systems and personnel on our shake-down cruise, but since we no longer have that option, I've found myself having to take a crash course on *Voyager*."
"If I can be of any assistance, Sir, just let me know."
"Thank you for your offer, but at the moment I'd just prefer if we could drop the 'Sir.' I'd much rather be addressed as Captain. In fact it's the first order I'm going to issue to you and the crew," she smiled at him, hoping it softened the irate sound of her words.
"Of course, Captain. If I might suggest, you may want to review the specs on the bio-neural circuitry and the addition of the Emergency Medical Hologram. They're the latest developments from 'Fleet headquarters. We're going to be field-testing the EMH, which I don't mind telling you makes me a little nervous without a real doctor as a back-up."
"What happened to Dr. Fitzgerald?" she asked, not having heard any reason they would be understaffed in the Medical department.
"We just found out this morning. Due to Voyager's early launch and the *Armagosa's* distance, we're going to miss picking up the doctor. Apparently Headquarters doesn't feel this mission will be that long; that we can get Fitzgerald on our return to Earth."
Janeway vaguely remembered reading that *Voyager's* Chief Medical Officer was transferring from the *Armagosa*. "And they don't think it's a little risky sending a ship into a battle situation without qualified medical personnel?" she questioned.
"I guess not. They claim the EMH is as good as the real thing. They've assured me there are plenty of crew members with medic experience on board."
"Medic experience? A lot of good that's going to do us if the holo-emitters go down! They couldn't assign someone temporarily?"
"Headquarters has assured me. . . ."
"I know," she sighed. "You don't have to feed me their propaganda. Not much we can do about it now anyway, is there?"
"I guess not. Well, most of the other systems are updated versions of ones you're no doubt familiar with."
Janeway looked up to see if he was being condescending. His tone sounded earnest, but she could take the words several ways. He appeared to be sincere, only trying to help her get up-to-speed, but she wasn't feeling the same rapport she had upon meeting another Commander. One more memory she had to push aside. She really had taken for granted the ease she and Chakotay had upon their first meeting. Her discomfort with her new Commander only seemed to underscore how special her work relationship with Chakotay had been.
"Captain?" Cavit asked, drawing her from her reverie.
"Sorry, Commander. I was sidetracked for a moment. I'll take your advice on those systems. I'd like to have a senior staff meeting in an hour, if you'll notify the crew."
"Yes, Captain. Oh, there's an Ensign Kim who's been waiting to report to you. Shall I send him in?"
"Yes. Thank you. I'll see you in the Conference Room in an hour," Janeway said, dismissing the man.
Cavit seemed pleasant and competent enough, Kathryn thought, but there was still the nagging thought that he wasn't Chakotay. How differently she would be looking at this mission if it were only some other Maquis dissident she'd been sent to hunt down!
Kathryn was brought out of her musing again, this time by the sound of Ensign Kim clearing his throat.
"Harry! I'm glad to see you made it!" She was surprised at how much she meant the words. Even though it was Chakotay's absence and Cavit's promotion that allowed for the opening at Ops, she was still relieved to see a familiar face.
"I just wanted to thank you again, Captain, for getting me this posting. I'm sorry it was at Commander, I mean Chakotay's, expense."
"You've earned it, Harry. And about Chakotay, I know the two of you were close. I know you probably didn't consider him a friend, being a senior officer, but I know he saw you as one."
Harry ducked his head to avoid revealing how much her words affected him. Regaining his composure, he said, "I considered it an honor to serve with him, and with you too, Ma'am."
Kathryn didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't "crunch time," and let the word slip by without comment.
In a sudden burst of bravado, Harry said, "Captain, I can't believe Chakotay would do this! He was no spy! He couldn't have been!" Janeway didn't know if he truly believed what he was saying or was trying to convince himself that Chakotay hadn't lied to them.
"For what it's worth, Ensign, neither do I. I don't know what happened to turn Chakotay from Starfleet, but clearly something has. That's what we have to deal with now. He is now a Maquis rebel, regardless of what his relationship was with us in the past."
Harry simply nodded. He knew he could take her words on a professional level and a personal one. Although he'd never had his suspicions actually confirmed, he was sure there was more to the former Commander's and Captain's relationship than they said. If that was true, he couldn't believe the strength of the woman before him. He didn't know if he'd be able to track down and capture Libby had it been proven she was a spy.
"You best get settled in and familiarize yourself with your station, Ensign. There will be a staff meeting in less than an hour."
"Aye, Captain," he said, turning to leave.
"Harry? Welcome aboard."
*********
Janeway was still perusing PADD's as her new senior staff filed into the conference room. She recognized Tom Paris, Harry Kim, John Cavit, but the Tactical/Security Officer and Chief Engineer were new to her.
"Good afternoon," she addressed the group, standing. She smiled slightly at her greeting. Heading out into space, the term "afternoon," would be relative, but it was a habit from her Earth-bound existence she found hard to break. "For those of you I haven't met, I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway." Walking over to the Security Officer, she offered her hand.
"Lieutenant Rollins," he said returning the handshake. Turning to the woman to her left, Janeway repeated the gesture.
"Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres," the half-Klingon woman addressed her, taking her hand with such a fierce grip, Janeway winced. Immediately embarrassed by her unintentional strength, B'Elanna released her hand with an apology.
"Forgive me, Captain. I didn't mean to be so forceful."
"It's all right, Lieutenant," Janeway said, placing a comforting hand on the young woman's shoulder. She really wasn't hurt, but the strength of her grip made Janeway glad B'Elanna was on their side. Turning her attention once again to the meeting, Janeway spoke to the group.
"I'm sure you've heard the status of our mission has been upgraded, and our shake-down cruise will be combined with out maiden voyage. As you no doubt also know, our new assignment is to track down and recover an ex-Starfleet officer-turned-Maquis, named Chakotay." He voice faltered slightly on his name, but no one seemed to notice.
"Some of you may be familiar with him, I know Ensign Kim and I had gotten to know him quite well while we were all working on Starfleet's reconnaissance efforts," she continued. "He's clever, Starfleet trained and knows everything about Starfleet's objectives in the DMZ. I'm sure any current information we have on the Maquis' plans has been rendered useless, as the former Commander will no doubt be informing them of our plans."
Janeway looked around the room to judge her people's reaction to the news. Most of them had heard the rumors of Chakotay's defection, but it was another to have them confirmed by your Captain. Some faces showed disgust and anger at the revelation; others, like Harry's, reflected remorse. It was hard to think someone you looked up to and admired was capable of such acts of treason.
"Our orders are these: apprehend Chakotay at all costs. Starfleet wants him alive to face the charges of defection, theft of Federation property and being AWOL among other lesser charges. From what I know about him, he's not going to be easy to bring in. He'll fight to the death, and in this case, it's not an option." Janeway paused, then opened up the meeting to questions. There were a few, but there wasn't much more she could tell them. Until Admiral Nechayev issued her specific orders, the Captain was in the same position they were: waiting for directives.
Tom looked at the man sitting to his right. He hadn't been properly introduced, but he knew him to be Harry Kim, the kid who got on *Voyager* by the skin of his teeth. Or the defection of the Commander, depending on how you looked at it. Harry probably had the "inside scoop" on what really happened with Chakotay, and Tom wasn't one to overlook a valuable resource. Tom had been on-board less than half a shift, and he already had pools on Chakotay's capture. Harry might be able to provide him with just the bit of information he needed to keep the inside track.
Janeway dismissed the meeting, watching as Tom stood and introduced himself to the man next to him.
"Hi, Tom Paris," he said holding out his hand. "Harry Kim, right?"
"Uh, right," he said, a bit taken aback. "How do you know my name?"
"Oh, your reputation precedes you," Tom teased. "Actually, we all heard about the last minute replacement at Ops. It wasn't much of a stretch to figure out who was the 'new kid on the block.'"
Harry looked at the young man before him. *What* was he talking about? New blocks?
Janeway smirked at Harry's confusion. "He means the new man onboard," she clarified for him. "Tom has an affinity for the 20th century, especially clichés." Harry nodded as if he understood, but he was clearly still lost.
"You know I'd be happy to show you around," Tom said, sliding an arm around Harry's shoulders.
"Tom," Janeway warned, giving him her best maternal stare, "Harry just came onboard, I don't want you corrupting him already."
Harry looked between the two of them. It was obvious they knew each other in some capacity. He couldn't imagine the Lieutenant next to him would be so casual otherwise.
"Me?" Tom asked innocently, removing his arm from Harry's shoulders. "Captain, I'm wounded! All I try to do is make the new kid feel welcome and you attack me!"
"I wouldn't exactly call it an attack, Mr. Paris," she said, crossing her arms in front of her. "Let's just say I know how you operate, and I like Harry just the way he is."
Feeling like a child caught between two warring parents, Harry said, "I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me. Tom? How about that tour?"
Kathryn couldn't believe it. Complacent, respectful Harry Kim had just chastised her!
********
Janeway was sitting in her chair on the Bridge. Waiting. Hurry up and wait, that seemed to be Starfleet's motto. There were so many more things she could be doing, but no. She had to wait until she got her orders and the go-ahead from Admiral Nechayev. She tried to review some more systems, but until the ship was actually moving, there was little more she could do. She'd read so much about bio-neural circuitry, she felt she could give a lecture on it. Her knowledge of the new warp core probably rivaled B'Elanna's, and still they waited. She was about to leave the Bridge when Harry announced she had an incoming message.
"It's about damn time," she muttered under her breath, but Commander Cavit heard her.
Smiling, he decided he liked his new Captain. He'd never served under a woman, and he was curious to see how she handled "the big chair." Although he'd yet to see her in a battle situation, he'd been impressed so far. He couldn't blame her for her impatience. They were all anxious to get under way. Not only to see what the ship could do, but to be released from their waiting.
"I'll take the message in my Ready Room," she said, striding across the command level to her office door.
"Aye, Captain," Harry replied, transferring the call.
Sitting at her desk, Kathryn accessed the communiqué. "Admiral," she said, greeting the woman on her screen.
"Hello, Captain. I'm sorry this directive is so long in coming, but you know the system," Nechayev tried to joke.
It wasn't a good sign. Nechayev was going to tell her something she didn't want to hear.
The Admiral continued. "Your orders are to proceed to the DMZ, but not to engage the Maquis."
Janeway's mouth dropped open. What the hell were they sending *Voyager* there for if they didn't plan to use her? "I don't understand, I thought we were supposed to capture. . ."
"That's still our plan, but Headquarters feels that if we back off a little, give the Maquis a little breathing space, the rebels will get over-confident, make mistakes, and it will be easier to bring the situation under control."
*To wipe them out, you mean,* Kathryn thought to herself. Aloud she said, "Admiral, with all due respect, I think you're making a terrible mistake. I doubt Chakotay could have changed the course of this latest raid, but I'm sure any plans about future strikes will be rendered obsolete with his presence among the Maquis. *This* is our best chance to retrieve him alive. After this strike, he'll vanish into the DMZ, who knows where he'll hide out or strike next!"
Nechayev straightened her shoulders and stared Kathryn in the eyes. "Your orders are to head to the DMZ and observe, until you hear from us. You are not to engage the Maquis. Is that clear, Captain?"
"Perfectly, sir," Janeway said, her teeth clenched.
"Good. Prepare to depart from Space Dock." In a slightly warmer tone she added, "Good luck, Kathryn."
"Thank you, Sir. Janeway out."
Kathryn leaned back in her chair. They were making a huge mistake. This was Starfleet's golden opportunity to capture Chakotay with as few casualties as possible. But was that the point? Did they wanted a big battle so she could take down as many Maquis as possible? She couldn't believe Starfleet could be so ruthless. But maybe it wasn't Starfleet's call. Maybe it was Cardassia orchestrating this move. They certainly had nothing to loose by wiping the Maquis from the galaxy. But what were the Cardassian's offering the Federation to justify such a slaughter?
Janeway exited her office and retook her seat on the Bridge. "We've gotten our clearance. Mr. Paris, take us out, one-quarter impulse. Once we've cleared Space-Dock, lay in a course for the DMZ. Then let's see what she's got under the hood."
*********
Since the raid, nearly a week ago, Chakotay had spent the majority of his time conferring with the leaders of the other cells, frantically reworking plans that had been in the works for months. He had informed them of the Starfleet spy that had been in their midst, informing the rebels he had taken care of the situation. Paranoid that there might be more infiltrators, the Maquis became suspicious of any "unusual" behavior. Chakotay tried to reassure them that, to his knowledge, Starfleet had no other operatives among them, but their fears hadn't been assuaged. A virtual "witch hunt" swept through the cells, causing already raw nerves to become even more enflamed. Fights broke out more often than usual, and Chakotay feared it would undermine the entire resistance. Calling his people together, he decided to put an end to the bickering once and for all.
"I know it's hard to know who to trust, but if we can't count on each other, who can we rely on?" he asked he assembled crowd. Chakotay had gotten to know most of the people in the cell he'd taken command of, but some were still strangers. It was almost as if he were trying to convince himself along with them. He didn't know who to trust beyond Lakita and Kurt, and with the way his friend continued to warn him to trust no one, he sometimes wondered about him. But he knew the paranoia had to end. They were disorganized enough as it was; they needed the strength of unity, and he was going to do his best to see that goal accomplished.
"And how do we know we can trust *you*?" a woman's voice spoke from the back of the barracks. "After all, up until a few weeks ago you were doing everything in your power to stop us. Now you claim to be one of us. Why should we listen to you?"
Chakotay saw a Bajoran woman with shoulder-length reddish brown hair standing at the back of the room with her arms crossed, a challenging look on her face. Several of the others were nodding in agreement with the woman's words.
"I don't suppose you should," Chakotay said. "I can't give you any evidence that I'm not a spy, other than my word. But would I have gone to the lengths to change our strategies if I were a spy?"
"You could be trying to sway the other leaders to listen to you to lead us into one of Starfleet's traps," she continued, staring intently at Chakotay. She wasn't threatening him, exactly, but he did sense a determination to her.
"That's true. I could be. I guess we need to trust each other," he stressed again. Chakotay heard people around her murmur agreement again, and heard someone say, "Seska's right."
So, this was the Seska he'd heard about. He'd heard tales of the Bajoran who fought the Cardassian's like a wildcat, and now he believed the stories. She wasn't about to let the subject drop. Seska was beginning to work the people into a rabid crowd, just what he'd been hoping to avoid by calling them together. He knew he had to defuse the mood that was escalating, but the truth was, he *couldn't* offer them any proof of his loyalty to the Maquis beyond his word. He was about to speak when Lakita stood and faced the crowd.
"Chakotay's right. We have to stick together. This is what Starfleet and the Cardassians want. To divide us from within. Are we going to help them destroy us?"
The crowd was now swaying in Lakita's direction. "I trust Chakotay. He would do nothing to undermine our plans. He's given up Starfleet to join us! He's told you of the capabilities and vulnerabilities of the ship they're sending after us! Would he have told us these things if he were a spy?"
"Of course *you* trust him, he's *your* brother. But he's not my family," Seska continued, unwilling to concede defeat. "I say let him prove himself in battle. The day I see him fire on a Federation ship, he'll have my complete loyalty." Her eyes held a dare that he knew he had to accept or lose control over the cell. Others were agreeing with her again.
"You'll have your proof tomorrow," he promised them, then continued to outline his plan of attack for the raid on the refinery.
*********
The meeting had broken up hours ago, but Chakotay lay awake, going over last minute details and the confrontation with Seska. After the meeting Lakita warned him about letting her upset him.
"She likes to stir up trouble, Chakotay. Don't let her get to you."
"It's not me as much as the rest of the cell that I'm worried about," he confided to her. "She seems to carry some weight with the others, and their attitude could be what makes or breaks this raid. If I had her on my side, I'm sure the others would follow."
"That might be, but I don't trust her motives. She's good at manipulation; you saw that earlier. She accuses you to avoid suspicion herself. I know you said this mistrust of each other is what will be our undoing, but there's something about her, Chakotay. I can't put my finger on it, but there's something 'off' about her."
"Now *you're* starting to sound as paranoid as the rest of them," he teased her.
"Maybe you're right," she conceded, laughing slightly at her apprehension. "Just watch your back, okay?"
"You and Kurt are starting to sound an awful lot alike," he smiled, pulling her into a hug.
"Well, if you won't listen to me, maybe you'll listen to him. I've got to get some sleep, and you look like you could use some yourself," Lakita said, excusing herself to return to her bunk.
Chakotay thought about his sister's words. She was probably right. She had a much better grasp of people's personalities and agendas than he did. He tended to be too trusting; it was a situation he'd have to watch in the future.
*********
*Voyager's* initial run was proceeding according to plan. Janeway had Paris perform a series of standard maneuvers, impressing the senior staff. Not only did Tom get a chance to show off his piloting skills, but the ship performed beyond all their expectations as well. Spirits were high as Voyager sped effortlessly through the Alpha Quadrant towards the DMZ. Janeway called for a set of battle drills to test the readiness of her crew, again pleased with the efficiency of her new command. Even Harry took to his post as if he'd trained there for months rather than mere hours.
As things settled down into a comfortable routine, Janeway called Commander Cavit into her Ready Room. Following her into her office, Cavit surmised she wanted to discuss their recent orders. He wasn't disappointed.
"Commander, I'm sure you're wondering what Admiral Nechayev had to say in regards to our latest orders." She motioned him to a seat before her desk, but continued to pace the floor. "She told me to proceed to the DMZ, but once there, we are not to engage the Maquis."
The look on Cavit's face indicated that he too found the directive odd. "Captain? Isn't it rather useless to send us out there just to wait?"
Janeway smiled slightly. "That's more or less what I asked the Admiral. I told her now was our best chance to capture Chakotay with as few casualties as possible, but she insisted we give the Maquis some 'breathing space.' I got the impression that these orders came from higher up than her, as she didn't have an explanation for them. The only thing I can't figure out is *why*. Starfleet's got to realize this is our best chance to apprehend him."
Cavit took in this information then commented, "we're not supposed to understand. We're supposed to do our duty without question." There was a slight bitterness to his tone, as if he'd run up against this type of wall with Starfleet before. The observation was one Chakotay would have made, Janeway realized, and found herself grinning at the irony of the situation: one of the men sent to capture Chakotay, reflecting his same views on Starfleet policy. But wasn't that what they were all doing? Just following orders? Kathryn certainly wouldn't have chosen to hunt down Chakotay. Nor would Harry. And she knew there were Maquis sympathizers among her crew who were merely following Starfleet's orders.
That didn't mean she thought Chakotay was right. Just because she didn't want to be the one to bring him in didn't mean she condoned his behavior. On the contrary. She was probably one of the people most offended by his defection. Starfleet was sacred to her, even if she didn't agree with every dictate they delivered. Case in point were her latest orders. She knew Starfleet was making a mistake, but the way to change things was not to run off and join the enemy. It was to try to work within the system.
"Sometimes I wish there weren't this hierarchy we had to answer to," she confided to Cavit. "If we were alone, just this ship, I wouldn't be sitting on my hands."
"I know what you mean," he agreed, but declined to elaborate on his statement. "Captain? May I ask you something? Off the record?"
Janeway wasn't sure she wanted to hear the question. Off the record meant something personal, and she was doing her best to keep her personal views out her mind and her decisions.
"Of course," she answered, sounding more causal than she felt.
"I've heard reports that you and Chakotay were quite close."
Kathryn felt her stomach knot. Trying for nonchalance, she said, "yes, we worked very closely for the last six months."
"Then you were friends?" he asked, his question innocent. He wasn't fishing for details on her personal life as she first suspected.
"Yes, very good friends, actually," Kathryn found herself revealing to him.
"Isn't this hard? I mean, I don't know how you can do it. I don't know if I could put aside my personal feelings about someone so close to me and just accept my orders."
Kathryn reflected on his words for a moment, then said, "This has to be one of the most daunting challenges I've faced. I've been in dangerous situations more times than I care to count, but this has been one of the hardest things Starfleet has asked of me."
She was surprised at her candor with the man she had just met. Perhaps it was the sympathetic expression he wore. Kathryn didn't know. What she did know was, she was amazed to find that she liked him. She'd been prepared to hate the man who sat in Chakotay's chair. The man who had replaced him on *Voyager*. Instead she found a career officer like herself who knew the difficulties in always blindly accepting Starfleet dogma. She felt no attraction to him beyond a common thread. Nothing like the emotions she had felt upon her initial meeting with Chakotay. It was this thought that pulled at Kathryn's heart again. She had known their relationship had been special from the start, but until she was faced with another new association, she had no idea just *how* special it had been.
Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, she tied to smile at her second-in-command. "Well, Starfleet's wishes are clear. We're not to initiate an attack, but I want this ship and crew ready if the Maquis find *us*."
"Aye, Captain," Cavit replied, standing. "We'll be ready."
Kathryn sank to her desk chair as the door closed behind Cavit. It was late, but she didn't want to return to her quarters. Not yet. She had to get her thoughts of Chakotay under control before she returned to the bed they had shared. She'd been doing a reasonably good job of keeping her personal feelings from interfering with her command decisions, but John Cavit's questions had brought her former lover to the forefront of her thoughts once more.
How long was it going to be until the sound of his name wasn't going to make her lurch? Until every time she closed her eyes she wouldn't see his smile, feel his lips on her neck, remember what it was like to lie in his arms after making love? She almost felt cheated that they hadn't had a knock-down, drag-out fight. Perhaps if they had, she'd feel some sense of closure, some resolution to her feelings. As it was, when she thought of him, the image her tortured mind conjured up was the look of utter shock and despair he had felt at the news of his father's death. It was hard to remain angry with that mental picture when all she wanted to do was draw him into her arms and try to ease his pain.
Then the thought of his desertion entered her mind and she found the anger she had sought earlier. How could she believe anything he had told her if his oath to Starfleet was so meaningless? Maybe all his words of love and devotion had been equally as hollow. She found that thought the hardest to believe. She would have staked her life on the fact that he loved her. But that had been a few weeks ago. If only she knew what could have changed him so. Changed him into a man she no longer recognized when she used to think she knew him better than herself.
Rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn, Kathryn rose from her chair, now prepared to go to her quarters. There was never going to be a good time to confront the rest of her memories. As long as she was indulging in a bout of nostalgia, she might as well do it right, and get rid of these thoughts once and for all.
*********