How to be an X-Philer Wannabe
Part 1 – Beginners
Okay, so you wanna be an X-Philer. Well, apart from being a little late in the getting, (The X-Files started airing in 1993 you know!) it takes time, perseverance and lots of TV watching! As The X-Files trundles towards closure, it means that by the time season 9 has ended, you have, in total, about 185 episodes. At 45 mins each (unless you have the hour-long episodes with ads in-between), that’s a very cool 140 hours of non-stop X-Filedom. Please don’t choke in horror - I said it takes time! If time is precious on your hands, you could always watch every episode back-to-back without any interruptions because that would only take 6 days! I love doing whole season marathons… and you should be prepared to do the same! If not, turn away – you will never be a real X-Philer. How can you claim to love the show but not be prepared watch it all? For those of you who aren’t still unconscious with shock, read the following notes and tips so you can be on your way to Real X-Filedom:
1. Remember what being an X-Philer actually means. The name is obviously taken from The X-Files but it also comes from the Greek word philos meaning to love. If you love the show, you’re already halfway there.
2. Watch the show! Start at the beginning and work your way through to the end – you know it makes sense! For telly addicts, I suggest 4 episodes at a time before taking a break. For those not fully accustomed to their TV set, try 1-2 at a time. Aching eyes = no understanding of the complexities of The X-Files. If you don’t understand, you’re wasting your time.
3. Having said that, The X-Files is not made to be fully understandable and comprehensible. Half the time, you won’t have a clue what’s going on and the stream of questions you want to ask never seem to be answered. This is the magic of The X-Files and why people keep coming back for more. They want, no, NEED to know the answers and the truth of it all and are prepared to suffer the pitfalls, stress and the constant drive of discovery to achieve that goal. Are you with us, or without?
4. Be prepared for shocks. Seemingly ‘safe’ characters are suddenly done away with, people who seem good turn bad and vice versa. You can never trust anyone, no matter what they say or do.
5. Are you a shipper? ‘Shippers’ is the short term for ‘Relationshippers’ and these people are fans who truly believe that there is a stirring of emotions between our beloved agents. While there is a close relationship between the two, these people believe that this is love rather than really good friendship. You have to take sides. That’s what being an X-Philer is all about. (Note: I’m not a shipper. However, our heroes do somehow manage to produce a baby together despite their hands-off approach.)
6. Don’t panic if you haven’t seen the film. It’s not overly important and you can get away quite easily without watching it. But it is worth seeing and it means you won’t miss out on a few things in Season Six.
7. Find out what the episode names mean. Some of them are pretty obvious (Soft Light, Space and Triangle) but others can be names of the characters (Tooms, Deep Throat and Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man) or in different languages (Død Kalm, Teso Dos Bichos, Kitsunegari and El Mundo Gira) or can have you reaching for a dictionary (Elegy, Tithonus and Syzygy). Beware of the episode The Red and the Black. This refers to loads of things so check out Laura Witte's page for the whole list of translations suggested.
8. If you start to get really confused, try your local bookstore. There are hundreds of books available on the market so, unless you really want to upgrade your home library, I’d stick to the guides and steer clear of the episodic books and fiction novels. The latter are books that contain one X-File episode each and novels that create their own X-File stories. Episodic books are a waste of money, unless you really like the episodes, and fiction novels will only serve to confuse you further. See my book guide for further information.