Athene19's Guide For X-Philer Wannabes: Part 2
Okay, so you've memorised the birthdates of Mulder and Scully and you've seen every one of the 202 episodes plus the megatastic movie(s). Your P.I.N. number is Scully's mobile number and you've changed your middle name by de-poll to Fox... but are you a real X-Philer or have you taken things to such extremes that you could be accused of being obssessed? This guide is not for those who want to be the latter - this is so you have psyched yourself up for being a true X-Philer without being so mad that people think the aliens forgot to remove your anal probe...
Part 2 – Professionals
Done everything in the first part? Good. Now for the second-parter - for strict professional wannabes only! Note the Helpful Hints They’re for your benefit.
Test your knowledge. Try and guess which episode fits in which season. I always get confused about seasons 4, 5 and 6.
Helpful Hint – the weirder the episode name, the more likely it is to be nearer the end than the beginning of the series.
Know the characters and the people who play them. This comes especially useful when watching the titles at the beginning. For example, the episode is starting in Mulder’s office and it’s just him and Scully there. ‘Nicholas Lea’, ‘Mitch Pileggi’ and ‘William B. Davis’ float across the screen. Now you know that Krycek, Skinner and CSM are gonna be in the episode.
Helpful Hint – the Lone Gunmen always appear in the titles together.
Know which Lone Gunman is which… and know which one is an assistant director on the show.
Helpful Hint – it’s the one who gets all the best lines!
Find all the best quotes and then put them at the bottom of e-mails. My favourite one is from E.B.E., Season One:
Byers: Vladimer Nabosky, the leader of the Russian Democrats, is putting into power the most evil and heinous force in the 20th century.
Mulder: Barney?
Helpful Hint - the earlier ones are brilliant for this kind of thing. Generally, the later you go, the more dark and humourless the episodes become.
Know which episodes are which. Have a friend fire episode names at you and you have to guess whether it’s an X-File, non-X-File, shippy episode or a conspiracy episode. Extra points if you can guess 2 or 3-parters. Examples of each of the above: Fallen Angel, Hell Money, Arcadia and Paper Clip.
Helpful Hint – A quiz book or guide of some description makes the life of your friend a little easier! See my Book Guide for some ideas.
Look out for famous faces. To get you going... In Tithonus (S6) is Two Guys and a Girl’s Richard Rucculo (Pete) playing Scully’s temporary partner Agent Peyton Ritter. And the now-very-famous Seth Green (Austin Powers, Buffy, etc) is in Deep Throat (S1) as a stoned junkie.
Helpful Hint – Most of the now-famous people are just extras so you need to keep a sharp eye-out.
Know what the episode names mean without looking them up. Come on! Once should be enough for a Professional X-Philer like yourself!
Helpful Hint – Those XF books are great for this sort of thing. Alternatively, go to Laura Witte's page which has probably the most extensive list of episode name meanings on the web!
Go to The X-Files University website and get your diploma or whatever in your favourite subject – The X-Files! The people who run the site are very helpful and everything is done free of charge. Go have some fun and be educational at the same time!
Helpful Hint – Take your time over this. There are hundreds of sites out there that provide helpful information no matter what you choose to do. Treat it like a real college essay and do the necessary research beforehand. You’ll get a better result that way.
Design a web page so you can tell the whole world that you love The X-Files! There are lots of pictures and info out there but try to do something original rather than doing things that lots of other people have done e.g. episode lists (do we really need another one?) and character dossiers (tell me something I don’t know!).
Helpful Hint - Remember that a lot of people copyright their work (I’m one of them!). It’s against the law to copy such material without permission. If I find anyone has copied my work, I’ll hunt them down… I’m serious.
Find some X-Philer mates on the web. I found most of mine at the official site fan database. It is done in pinboard mode although I haven’t been there for some time and they might have some flash thing going on by now. The coolest thing about having X-Philer mates is that you can all meet-up and do stuff together, like going to the film première in Trafalgar Square! That was pretty cool and rather enlightening at the same time. It also means that you have people to discuss any X-File issues with in-depth and none of them will find you obsessive or weird… cos they’re all like you!
Helpful Hint – Unless you are ultra-confident that you won’t pick up any weirdos, have a username to hand (i.e. don’t use your real name) and note the following:
--Never meet up with another X-Philer on your own unless you can help it.
--Choose a brightly-lit area or where there are lots of people about at all times.
--Tell someone where you’re going and how long you are going to be. If you are going to be later than you anticipated let them know.
--Don’t give out your address, e-mail or telephone number until you are ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN you can trust that person with that sort of information.
If they are genuine, they will understand. It’s for your safety.
Done? Now head on to Part 3 for Athene19's Book Guide.
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Updated: January 2004