If your fandom depends on seeing Krycek dead and gone
If you're wanting to join a group takes more than a RAD singalong
If you need to set some traps out and try to RATify some infestation that you're facing
Than join the Fans After Ratboys Complete Extermination

When Chris tests our suspension... of disbelief we don't mind
But when you're asked to swallow Ratboys charm your throat you just can't find
Rejoice you have a choice to join the group of Ratboys extermination in this 5th Season
Come join the Fans After Ratboys Complete Extermination

We represent the Krycek-- Over That, rodent lack,
cheeseless pack, trap setting, RAID tote'n crowd
Our heart is anti-ratism and we display it proud
In AK Forum there's an application for provoking RAD administration
Come join the Fans After Ratboys Complete Extermination

We're all one big family throughout the Forum and the chats
We don't make you tell us what you like about the RAT.
And every registered member gets a yearly checkup
and a rabies innoculation against infection
Come join the Fans After Ratboys Complete Extermination

We represent the Krycek-- Over That, rodent lack,
cheeseless pack, trap setting, RAID tote'n crowd
Our heart is anti-ratism and we display it proud
On AK Forum there's an application for provoking RAD administration
Come join the Fans After Ratboys Complete Extermination
Come join the Fans After Ratboys Complete Extermination

Don't like Mickey,
Ratboy or Mighty
F. A. R. C. E.
F. A. R. C. E.

Rewritten by MrsP

Don't Squeak
(Sung to the tune of Don't Speak by:No Doubt)

That young agent
He used to be a cute guy,
Trying to help Mulder, always

But now it seems
Like he's giving up the good side,
Like he's working for the CSM

It looks as though he's been betrayed
And if they'll kill him off
I'd like to know

Don't squeak
I know you love that Rat Boy
So please stop exclaiming
Don't squeak because it hurts
Don't squeak
I know what you're thinking
I know you have your reasons
Don't squeak because it hurts

The memories
That agent seemed inviting
But now with our Mulder
He's fighting

And we watch, both you and I
But who you want to cheer
That is your choice

Don't squeak
I know you love that Rat Boy
So please stop exclaiming
Don't squeak because it hurts
No, no, no don't squeak
I know what you're thinking
I know you have your reasons
Don't squeak because it hurts

And in that country
That foreign Russia, he lost his arm...
A tradgedy,
Or was it lucky? I say cut it off!

Don't squeak
I know you love that Rat Boy
So please stop exclaiming
Don't squeak because it hurts
No, no don't squeak
I know what you're thinking
And I know you have your reasons
Don't squeak because it hurts
Don't squeak because it hurts
I know you love that Rat Boy
So please stop exclaiming

Don't squeak, don't squeak, don't squeak
I know what you're thinking
I know you have your reasons
I know he's cute, I knwo he's cute,
I know he's real cute.....

Rewritten by ME

Rat Fever
(Sung to the tune of Fever by Aerosmith)

He's got a prosthetic arm
And his pants are way too tight
He's got a greasy smile
And he runs from every fight

He's got a fever, fever, fever, fever
Had an amputation with a rusty knife
Now he's got infection cuz he's not too bright
FARCE is here, cuz Ratboy's not all there tonight

He gasps one last breath
As Mulder turns him inside out
His car blows up
And he barely makes it out

He's got a fever, fever, fever, fever
Stick him in a silo, honey, we don't care
Let's give him a ride in the electric chair
FARCE is here, cuz Ratboy's not all there tonight

RAD, it's really kinda simple
Quit leering at his dimple
While we kick your butts round and round
Take heed to Scully's preachin'
Quit whinin' and a squeakin'
And actin like a bunch of clowns

Well, CSM may kill him
And we'll all rejoice
He's a scum sucking pig
With no conscience deep inside
He only wants to save his hide

He's got a fever, fever, fever, fever
You gotta know he's crazy cuz he makes no sense
He's runnin' from the agents gonna wet his pants
He's got greasy hair and oily eyes
The odds don't look so good for this one-armed guy
We get so tired of hearin' Ratboy whine
If you think he's slimy, well I think you're right
FARCE is here, cuz Ratboy's not all there..that's right!

Rewritten by AntiRaton

The Night That RABID Died
(Sung to the tune of The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace)

My daddy was a FARCE
A good guy of the web page
Back in the old AK
Back in the RAD old days....

In the heat of a summer night
In a land where the rat was revered
Where the legions of RABID died
They were all so freakin' wierd
When a man named Alex K
Tried to blow the FARCE away
With a war he'd hoped that would
wipe out the force of pure and good

I heard our leader cry
"Listen to the squeals!" the night that RABID died...
Brother what a lark it really was,
A picnic in the park it really was, yes, indeed

And the sound of their squeals rang
Through the halls of the old AK,
'Til the last of the mangy gang
Was deprogrammed or flambe'd
there was squeeking in the streets
And the patter of little rat feet
By the time the war was won,
Not one FARCEr had succumbed

I heard our leader cry,
"Listen to their squeals!" the night that RABID died...
Brother what a lark in really was,
A picnic in the park it really was, Glory be!

Then there was no sound at all
From the pelts upon the wall...
Then the door burst open wide,
And the FARCE squad stepped inside
And they all traded high five's,
'Cause not a rat was left alive

The night that RABID died...
nanana, nanana, nanananaNAnana,
The night that RABID died
Brother what a party we all had
'Cause we don't have to deal no more with RAD, GLORY BE!

Rewritten by LL Boggs

Ratboy's Island
(Sung to the tune of Gilligan's Island)

Now sit right back and hear a tale,
The tale of the un-faithful *CENSORED*
That started from this darkened room
in cahoots with the Smoking Man

The Rat was shifty eyed smiling man
The smoker evil and pure
Mulder and Scully set out that day
Roswell, New Mexico Tour

The hacking started gettin rough
But the little man broke in
If not for the courage of the Lone Gunmen
The Data tape would be lost, the data tape would be lost

The tape struck ground in Mulder's hand
not a single word was read
It took, a navaho,
A billionare, and his wife
The conspirator
the pathologist and Mulder
HERE ON RAT BOYS ISLAND!!!!!

Rewritten by Hippieman

A poem by Pixie

Now I lay me down to sleep
Dreams of Ratboy begin to creep
If I should poison him before I wake
I'll pity Radsters, for goodness sake

One Armed Defector--Ode to Krycek
(Sung to the tune of "Hardluck Woman" by Garth Brooks)

If never I met you
I'd never have seen you Genderbend.
If not for that first 'hello'
I'd never have to be sickened.
If never I beheld you
My hatred would never show.
It's time I start retching, boy
There's no chance that your arm will regrow.
I keep callin' you a one-armed defector
You're a two-timer backslider.

Krycek, the X-Files double-crosser
A spy and a betrayor
Too vain to be a man.
Krycek, I really hate ya
I can't forget about you.
You'll be a loser with no charm
Baby, til you find your arm.

Before I go let me groin kick you
And watch the tears from your eyes.
I do wanna punch you boy
You know I could never lie.
I keep callin' you a one-armed defector
You two timer and backslider.
You'll be a loser with no charm
Baby til you find your arm.

Rewritten by Pixie

I've Got Cheese Placed in my Closet
(Sung to the tune Friends in Low Places)

Blame it all on the RAD I acted so bad and ruined their Fox forum board
I thought it was fun, I thought I had won a "Fans After Ratboy" award.
And I saw the despise in the look of your eyes when I poked fun at the Ratboy
When I sang to you, "with Ratboy you should be through",
I thought that would be enjoyed.

Cuz I got cheese placed in my closet
With a bit of poison poured upon it
To kill that Rat
And I bought a cat

Yeah I'm not big on rodent actors
His ominous life is a factor
To why I have cheese in my closet

Well I guess I was right to stay up all night thinking of what I should do
To convince you all that the Ratboy must fall and justice again we'll pursue
I don't want to offend but you need to bend and see this new point of view
With the Ratboy gone we can move on to a Lone Gunmen ep or two

Cuz I got cheese placed in my closet
With a bit of poison poured upon it
To kill that Rat
And I bought a cat

Yeah I'm not big on rodent actors
His ominous life is a factor
To why I have cheese in my closet

(REPEAT chorus)

Rewritten by MrsP

~~(_)8x> Death to the Rat