| It was a wonderful day for Daniel
Harper when he woke up at his house in
Palm Beach, California. The sun was
shining bright through his wall length
window and a cool breeze was blowing
through. He got out of bed and went to
the bathroom. His wonderful bathroom. It
was in this room that he did his
worshiping. Along a shelf that ran the
length of the room, many jars were
perching. In each jar was a single turd.
While the man drained his oversized
bladder the jars were talking to him and
the turds watched silently. A few of the
jars lifted their transparent wings and
flew over to perch on his shoulders. Some
of them chittered and chirped, while some
of them developed very strong British
accents and talked like they were well
educated. The bathroom was tremendously
vast and must have had over one thousand
jars in it. With the vastness of the room
and all the echoing chitter the noise was
deafening. "Quiet!", Daniel
yelled as he strained and squeezed to get
the last of the luscious liquid out,
"I'm kind of constipated
today." With that line the whole
room suddenly got dead quiet. A lone jar
climbed up on Daniels head and leaned
over into his face.
"You make no more poo poo?",
it said quietly.
"Not today.", he said with
remorse. A low moan echoed through the
room as they all drew in a deep breath.
"No more little friends?"
"Not from me. I was about to walk
Sparkey, but if it means that much to you
all you can keep his droppings.
"Doggy doo doo? As good as Daniel
doo doo?"
"Yes. Doggy doo doo is very good.
Sometimes it even has white fuzz."
"White fuzz!!!", the jar
yelled as the whole room went into an
uproar. They hardly ever saw white fuzz
on poop and it was considered sacred.
"I'm leaving now. I love you all
and I'll be back up in about an hour with
the dog."
"ByeBye!!!", they were all
yelling as he slowly walked out of the
room whistling.
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