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Q u o t e s

Spike | Buffy | Xander | Willow | Giles | Cordelia | Angel


Spike
Spike: "It's a big rock... I can't wait to tell my friends, they don't have a rock this big."

Spike: "Someone wasn't worthy..."

Spike: "You were there? Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move. So. Who do you kill for fun around here?"

Spike: "You're that Anointed guy. I read about you. You've got Slayer problems. That's a bad piece of luck. Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them. A lot faster than Nancy-boy there. Yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag! Yeah. He's the big noise in these parts. Anointed, and all that. Me and Dru, we're movin' in. Now. Any of you want to test who's got the biggest wrinklies 'round here... step on up. I'll do your slayer for you. But you keep your flunkies from tryin' anything behind my back. Deal?"

Spike: "It's done, baby. I'll chop her into messes."

Spike: "Where's the phone? I need to call the police. There's some big guy out there trying to bite somebody."

Spike: "You nearly died in Prague. Idiot mob. This is the place for us. The Hellmouth will restore you, put color in your cheeks, metaphorically speaking, and in a few week's time. And then, God, this town will burn."

Spike: "I'm a veal kind of guy. You're too old to eat. But not to kill."

Spike: "Slayer! Here, kitty, kitty. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in. Are you getting a word picture here?"

Spike: "What's new with you? People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world! I haven't seen you in the killing fields for an age."

Spike: "You think you can fool me?! You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!"

Spike: "Fe, fi, fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe girl."

Spike: "The last Slayer I killed... she begged for her life. You don't strike me as the begging kind."

Spike: "I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit."

Spike: "The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one."

Spike: "I'll dance with you, pet. On the Slayer's grave! Once you're well again, we'll have a coronation down Main Street, and invite everyone, and drink for seven days and seven nights."

Spike: "She's the gnat in my ear. The gristle in my teeth. She's the bloody thorn in my bloody side!"

Spike: "See, if I kill you now you go quick, and Dru hasn't got a chance. And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell farm and all her mates are spared her coming out party."


Buffy
Buffy: This means that whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intelligent brain. Xander: In other words, I'm safe.

Buffy: Have I ever let you down?
Giles: Should I answer that or just glare?

Buffy: You're that amped about Hell? Go there.

Buffy: Save the hipnosis crap for the tourists.

Buffy: He's not going anywhere. Loser.

Buffy: What are you doing here?
Ethan: Snooping around.
Buffy: Well, at least you're honest.

Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good.

Buffy: But... Cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!
Giles: Those will just have to be put on hold!

Buffy: Virgins? Well, Xander's not a, uh... I mean, he's probably...
Willow: ...gonna die!

Buffy: Those weren't vampires, those were just guys in thunder need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies. It could have been rabies. A-and that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light.

Buffy: See, this is a school and we have students and they check out books and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.

Buffy: "God! I am so mentally challenged!"

Buffy: "Giles, don't mention it. It was my pleasure to make the world safe for humanity again."

Buffy: "Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.'"

Buffy: "Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good."

Buffy: "I'll just jump off that bridge when I come to it."

Buffy: "I dreamt that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas."

Buffy: "I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are...?"
Xander
Xander: You da man, Buff.

Xander: Alright, alright, it's not what you think.
Willow: You like to look at the semi-nude engravings?
Xander: Oh, well, uh, I guess it is what you think.

Xander: Mix in a little rectal surgury and its my best day ever!

Xander: On a scale from one to ten... It sucked.

Xander: Its funny if you're me.

Xander: Were there whores?
Buffy: He was alone.
Xander: Give him time.

Xander: Woa, lets stop this whirley-gig of fun, Im dizzy.

Xander: I'm sorry, calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way.

Xander: Yeah! Buffy died, and everything!
Willow: Wow! Harsh.

Xander: Keep your distance pal.
Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck!

Xander: I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world, ever.

Xander: I sometimes like things that are not good for me.

Xander: Willow, you are the best human ever! I adore you!

Xander: Well, it must be that whole Angel-killed-his-girlfriend-and-tortured-him thing. Hey, Giles is pretty petty when it comes to stuff like that."
Willow
Willow: No, no, no! See? Xander's... I like his head! I-it's where you find his eyes, and his hair, and his adorable smile...

Willow: 'cause otherwise you'll flunk math?
Xander: Explain the part where that's bad.
Willow: You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?'

Willow: From the library? Where the books live?

Willow: No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up.
Buffy: How come?
Willow: He stole my Barbie.

Willow: I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh. Good for me.

Willow: Uh, this may be the dumb question, but shouldn't we call the police?
Giles: And they'd believe us, of course.
Willow: Well, we don't have to say vampires. We, we could just say that there's a, a bad man.

Willow: Even I was bored. And I'm a science nerd.
Buffy: Don't say that.
Willow: I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right?

Willow: If you two aren't with me 110 percent then get the hell out of my library!!

Willow: How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on. I never know what's going on.
Giles: Well, you weren't here from midnight until six researching it.
Willow: No, I was sleeping.

Willow: Sometimes I have this fantasy that Xander's just gonna grab me and kiss me right on the lips.
Buffy: You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl!
Willow: No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms.
Giles
Giles: Willow... Do shut up.

Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?
Buffy: Uh, huh. Giles: And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
Buffy: Yes.
Giles: And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles.
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it?
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. 'course, you'll have to kill him.

Giles: I'll be back in the middle ages.
Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave?

Giles: Alright, I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the 12th century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.

Giles: You know, I don't recall ever seeing you here before.
Cordelia: Oh, no, I have a life.

Giles: She's lovely. In a common, extremely well proportioned way.

Giles: Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons.

Giles: A vampire isn't a person at all. It may have the movements, the memories, even the personality of the person that it took over, but it's still a demon at the core, there is no halfway.
Cordelia
Cordelia: People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.

Cordelia: You call that leather interior? My Barbie Dream Car had nicer seats!

Cordelia: Great. Now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.
Angel
Angel: Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?

Angel: You'll find that with the exception of an honest day's work, there's no challenge I'm not prepared to face.

Angel: I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.


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