Simpsons, The (1989) S2 - Garn's Guides

Season Two
Starring:	Dan Castellaneta .................... Homer Simpson / Krusty the Clown
	Julie Kavner ........................... Marge Simpson / Patty / Selma
	Nancy Cartwright ............................... Bart Simpson / Nelson
	Yeardley Smith .......................................... Lisa Simpson
	Harry Shearer ................................... Mr. Burns / Smithers
Created By:	Matt Groening

Ep: 14
Bart Gets an F

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO FLY (I WILL NOT FAKE MY WAY THROUGH LIFE)
Special Guest Voice: Marcia Wallace
Also Starring: Jo Ann Harris, Pamela Hayden, Russi Taylor
Written By: David M. Stern
Directed By: David Silverman

Ep: 15
Simpson and Delilah

Blackboard Line: TAR IS NOT A PLAYTHING
Special Guest Voice: Harvey Fierstein
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden
Written By: Jon Vitti
Directed By: Rich Moore

Ep: 16
The Simpsons Halloween Special - Tree House of Horrors

Blackboard Line: None
Special Guest Voice: James Earl Jones
Written By: Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky & John Swartzwelder & Edgar Allan Poe & Sam Simon
Directed By: Wes Archer & Rich Moore & David Silverman

Ep: 17
Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT XEROX MY BUTT (IT'S POTATO, NOT POTATOE)
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Maggie Roswell
Written By: Sam Simon & John Swartzwelder
Directed By: Wes Archer

Ep: 18
Dancin' Homer

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT TRADE PANTS WITH OTHERS
Special Guest Voices: Tony Bennett, Tom Poston
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Daryl L. Coley, Pamela Hayden, Ken Levine
Written By: Ken Levine & David Isaacs
Directed By: Mark Kirkland

Ep: 19
Dead Putting Society

Blackboard Line: I AM NOT A 32 YEAR OLD WOMAN
Also Starring: Maggie Roswell
Written By: Jeff Martin
Directed By: Rich Moore

Ep: 20
Bart vs Thanksgiving

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT DO THAT THING WITH MY TONGUE
Also Starring: Greg Berg, Maggie Roswell
Written By: George Meyer
Directed By: David Silverman

Ep: 21
Bart the Daredevil

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT DRIVE THE PRINCIPAL'S CAR
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
Written By: Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky
Directed By: Wesley Meyer Archer

Ep: 22
Itchy & Scratchy & Marge

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO BART
Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
Special Guest Voice: Alex Rocco
Written By: John Swartzwelder
Directed By: Jim Reardon

Ep: 23
Bart Gets Hit By a Car

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT SELL SCHOOL PROPERTY
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Doris Grau
Special Guest Voice: Phil Hartman
Written By: John Swartzwelder
Directed By: Mark Kirkland

Ep: 24
One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Joey Miyashima, Diana Tanaka
Special Guest Voices: Larry King, Sab Shimono, George Takei
Written By: Nell Scovell
Directed By: Wesley M. Archer

Ep: 25
The Way We Was

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT GET VERY FAR WITH THIS ATTITUDE
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Tress MacNeille, Maggie Roswell
Special Guest Voice: Jon Lovitz
Written By: Al Jean & Mike Reiss & Sam Simon
Directed By: David Silverman

Ep: 26
Homer vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT MAKE FLATULENT NOISES IN CLASS
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille
Special Guest Voice: Phil Hartman
Written By: Steve Pepoon
Directed By: Rich Moore

Ep: 27
Principal Charming

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT BELCH THE NATIONAL ANTHEM
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden
Special Guest Voice: Marcia Wallace
Written By: David Stern
Directed By: Mark Kirkland

Ep: 28
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT SELL LAND IN FLORIDA
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
Special Guest Voice: Danny DeVito
Written By: Jeff Martin
Directed By: W. M. "Bud" Archer

Ep: 29
Bart's Dog Gets an F

Blackboard Line:
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden, Frank Welker
Special Guest Voice: Tracey Ullman
Written By: John Vitti
Directed By: Jim Reardon

Ep: 30
Old Money

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT GREASE THE MONKEY BARS
Starring: Hank Azaria
Also Starring: Maggie Roswell
Special Guest Voices: Phil Hartman, Audrey Meadows
Written By: Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky
Directed By: David Silverman

Ep: 31
Brush With Greatness

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT HIDE BEHIND THE FIFTH AMMENDMENT
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Maggie Roswell
Special Guest Voices: Jon Lovitz, Ringo Starr
Written By: Brian K. Roberts
Directed By: Jim Reardon

Ep: 32
Lisa's Substitute

Blackboard Line:
Also Starring: Jo Anne Harris, Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
Special Guest Voice: Marcia Wallace, Sam Etic
Written By: Jon Vitti
Directed By: Rich Moore
Special Note: Sam Etic was actually Dustin Hoffman who, for contractual reasons, was not allowed to put his name on the show.

Ep: 33
The War of the Simpsons

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING BAD EVER AGAIN
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
Written By: John Swartzwelder
Directed By: Mark Kirkland

Ep: 34
Three Men and a Comic Book

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT SHOW OFF
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden, Russi Taylor
Special Guest Voices: Cloris Leachman, Daniel Stern
Written By: Jeff Martin
Directed By: Wes M. Archer

Ep: 35
Blood Feud

Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT SLEEP THROUGH MY EDUCATION
Also Starring: Hank Azaria, Maggie Roswell
Written By: George Meyer
Directed By: David Silverman

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