Dangerous Heroes (Deli Version)

Tune: "Dangerous Heroes" (Michael "Moonwulf" Longcor)

When I was just a little tyke, my momma made me sandwiches,
but cut the pieces too big for me to consume.
I choked upon a pickled cuke and started to look like a fish
and then she took me to an emergency room.
All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes,
All of my life I'm calling 9-1-1.
All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes.
Dangerous heroes for a dangerous boy.
Chokable heroes make for dangerous toys.

When I was a teenager, I went out with an evil crowd
that ate out at a deli and provoked some fights.
They dared me to eat chili subs with cumin, pepper, chutney, too,
so you could guess my stomach was pumped through that night.
All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes.
Indigestion ruled my life from meal to meal.
All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes.
Dangerous heroes for a dangerous me.
Hot-'n-spicy heroes for conformity.

(Bridge)
Peanuts and alfalfa sprouts, cheese and ham and radishes, brussels sprouts and habanero chiles to burn

Asparagus with hollandaise, some Tums with lots of mayonnaise, all topped off with pepperoni.

The doctor says I have to stop, it's ruining my fragile heart
to eat my way to death through all this fatty food.
But I cannot resist a Philly cheesesteak or a submarine
when I go to diners and I'm in that mood.
All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes.
All of my life I'm calling 9-1-1.
All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes.
Dangerous heroes for a dangerous boy.
Dangerous heroes make for dangerous toys.

All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes.
All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes.
All of my life I've eaten dangerous heroes.
Dangerous heroes for a dangerous me.
Eating those heroes gives me lots of glee.
Skirting taboos will make me think I'm free.
Dangerous heroes make ridiculous songs.

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