I Am Buying a Pro Sports Franchise

Tune: "I Am Changing My Name to Chrysler" (Tom Paxton)

Secure careers this boom has not restored.
I'm in three part-time jobs, overworked, and bored.
Congress, which made health care portable,
must've taken something snortable
'cause insurance I could get I can't afford.
But I know now how to join the rising tide
and finally be an economic bride.
I'll believe all the credit lies
and purchase something oversized
and leverage my bootstraps up in stride

See, I'm buying a pro sports franchise,
and I'll get you all to build a park for me.
I'll reserve the revenue, maybe name an avenue,
and I'll use all of it practically rent-free.
Yes, I'm buying a pro sports franchise,
and I'll soon see all you working stiffs as marks
'cause when you finally say good riddance,
ninety million is a pittance
when a new group of schlemiels is in the dark.

When your mayor and your council start to grin
sure some fool gadfly with a conscience will chime in,
but before debate gets bloody,
go pay for a study
showing that if you pay rich folks, we all win.
We'll have taxpayer-supported fun each night,
and your business clients get some free delight.
And I say, "Who in hell cares
if this is corporate welfare?"
Rent a luxury suite and don't be so uptight!

See, I'm buying a pro sports franchise,
and I'll get you all to build a park for me.
I'll reserve the revenue, maybe name an avenue,
and I'll use all of it practically rent-free.
Yes, I'm buying a pro sports franchise,
and I'll soon see all you working stiffs as marks
'cause when you finally say good riddance,
ten-score million is a pittance
when a new group of schlemiels is in the dark.

The cities are in a dismal state,
wondering how they might escape from fate.
They want to pull some folks with money in
and hope that they are chummy,
and in turn their modest tax bills will abate,
while ordinary residents are stuck
paying for some thirty years with hard-earned bucks.
Your local House of Burgesses
gives no bread but lots of circuses,
and the folks who disagree can go get . . . happy watching the [local team name].

See, I'm buying a pro sports franchise,
and I'll get you all to build a park for me.
I'll reserve the revenue, maybe name an avenue,
and I'll use all of it practically rent-free.
Yes, I'm buying a pro sports franchise,
and I'll soon see all you working stiffs as marks
'cause when you finally say good riddance,
half a billion is a pittance
when a new group of schlemiels is in the dark.

Coda:
Yes, when you finally say good riddance,
seven billion is a pittance
when a new group of schlemiels is in the dark.

This page hosted by .
Get your own Free Home Page!