Millenium Compliant?

Those folks who learned how to write in COBOL took some short-cuts,
and now the rest of us are learning how to hate their guts.
Those purists who have griped for years about our use of "hacker"
are getting their comeuppance for old-timer coding slackers.

Is your software millenium compliant?
Will your programs come crashing down at 1/1/00 (One-one-double-oh)?
Will centenaries be births? Will we want to live on Earth
when utilities and bankers won't be rolling in the dough?
(Well, actually, . . .)

Johnny was a yuppie lad who bought things off the shelves,
got a brand-new thermostat and put it in himself.
It kept his toesies warm at night and did his laundry, too!
Except one winter morning when his face was kind of blue.

Is your furnace millenium compliant?
Will the temperature come crashing down at 1/1/00?
Will centenaries be births? Will we want to live on Earth
when the folks who did it for themselves are freezing in the snow?
(Is that "for" yourself or "to" . . . ?)

Aunt Mabel got a bargain when dear Uncle wound up dead.
She bought no single header but a double-stone instead,
engraved but for the final digits when she had to die:
1912-19 . . . but my God, she's still alive!

Is your gravestone millenium compliant?
Will your monument be obsolete at 1/1/00?
Will centenaries be births? Will we want to live on Earth
when it's not just Doc Kevorkian who says you've gotta go?

The folks who've gotten Saved are using their time well
hoping that the calendar backs up their views and sells
their application of theology, their Given way
to prevent mortal sin (spoken: Unrecoverable Error) and this is what they say:

Is your soul millenium compliant?
For Judgment will come crashing in on 1/1/00.
Will you go through your rebirth for an afterlife on Earth
or might eternity in Hell be what your Maker will bestow?

Now that may sing is, like the century, almost done,
I'll sell my next CD right here, with each and every pun.
If I work hard, it'll be out in a year or two—
in time to be irrelevant when the album's due.

Is your folksong millenium compliant?
Will the topic be obsolete on 1/1/00?
Will your lyrics have some worth? Will you want to sing on Earth
when your facts are wrong and stop your song from stopping every show?

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