Bloopers: Accident Explanations

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Accident Explanations

Following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempt to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

From Ann Landers March 4 1988 and the Scribbler May 13, 1991

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

I saw the slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

In an attempt to kill a fly,I drove into a telephone pole.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

The guy was all over the road.I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought the window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

The telephone pole was approaching fast,I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front,I struck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.

When I saw I could not avoid a collision,I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

Coming home,I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy is a small car with a big mouth.

Additional ones from the Scribbler May 13, 1991 and the Toronto Sun Paper or the Toronto News on July 26, 1977.)

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home, as I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

I was sure the old fellow would not make it to the other side of the street when I struck him.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road, I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

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