“No good in the sun, apparently not much use in the rain. Exactly what weather conditions are vampires designed for?” she asked with polite interest.
“Long hot nights, as well you know love,” he replied, skidding to a stop beside her and leaning over her provocatively.
They stood like that for a moment in the rain and Buffy felt the familiar feeling of lust and panic grow. She took a deep breath. He couldn’t do this to her now. How did he do this to her?
As she made numerous resolutions to behave, he took his duster off and flung it over both their heads.
“Anyway, speak for yourself, pet. You with the Slayer strength an’ all and you can’t seem to manage a brolly!”
She hesitated for a moment before tossing away the shell of an umbrella, not designed to survive a Hellmouth storm, and snuggling closer to him under the protection of his coat.
“So where are you going and what’s with the sudden burst of manners?” she enquired.
“Well if that’s what you’re going to be like…” he began, making a move to remove her only protection from the rain, until she squealed and raised an imaginary stake in a stabbing motion. He relented, laughing.
“Watcher-boy gave me a call as well. I’m tagging along to save the world.”
Buffy frowned. Giles had given no indication of the reason for his sudden return to Sunnydale, but it was too soon since he’d left for this to be a social call. Especially if he was inviting Spike along to the grand reunion.
“Spike. Look. With Giles and everything. Can you not? You know. Do anything while he’s around.” Buffy suddenly seemed flustered. Spike grinned.
“You have anything in particular in mind, love?” he said with a raise of his eyebrow and a smirk. He stopped and turned to face her, pulling her closer and kissing her. They grappled with each other for a few minutes before Spike pulled away.
“You’re right,” he said mock-seriously, “You better behave while your Watcher’s around.”
She grabbed him unceremoniously and threw him against a wall. Protected from the rain, they flew at each other. They kissed again, hungrily, angrily.
“All the same, it might be a good idea if we didn’t actually shag six feet away from your friends,” said Spike eventually, causing Buffy to gasp in horror as she realised how close to the Magick Box they were. Oh yeah. That was just what she needed. To be caught wrapped round Spike with her hand down his pants. Spike groaned as she disentangled herself and straightened her clothes.
“Stupid bloody conscience!” he muttered.
“Yeah, right! Your restraint is for my benefit, not to avoid mass staking. Cos, gee, Giles and Xander would probably kill each other over who got to kill you first!”
“You know what?” he snapped, pulling his duster from her head and putting it on, “You better just get wet, cos we don’t want your precious friends getting suspicious!” He finished with a bellow as she ran ahead into the shop.
*******
“Hey!” she ran to Giles and hugged him. It felt like eternity since he’d left.
“How have you been, Buffy?” he looked at her with a fond smile and put a hand on her shoulder.
“Good. Better.” Been sleeping with Spike, she thought, and that’s gotta be a sign of good mental health.
“I’m glad. I hope things are easier. Come through, we have a lot to discuss.”
Buffy followed him to the back of the shop where the gang was gathered, everyone looking as confused as she was. Spike barged in, ignoring her and giving Giles a curt nod.
“How are you so dry Buffy?” demanded Anya. “I find that umbrellas keep breaking and I’m looking for a range to sell here. To take financial advantage of this difficult time.”
Deliberately looking nowhere near Spike, Buffy tried to seem nonchalant.
“Oh, you know, me Slayer.” She gasped at the shock of something cold and wet hitting her. She turned in fury to see Spike looking casually indifferent and holding an empty jug.
“Sorry,” he said. “Just wanted to see these magical water-repelling brand-new slayer skills.”
She looked for something to throw back and in the absence of a stake settled for a heavy book.
“Buffy. Please.” Giles attempted to sound patient but failed. “Why don’t you go and – and,” he waved his hand, “fix yourself. We have matters of some urgency to deal with here.”
She cast Spike a look of pure hatred as she stormed off.
“As for you Spike. Just Be Quiet. If you can’t manage that then you are more than welcome to leave at any time. Please don’t wait for an invitation.”
The group sat quietly, attempting not to annoy Giles further as they waited for Buffy’s return. She came back eventually, still looking dishevelled and cross.
“So what’s it all about?” she asked. “Why the big return and all the secrecy?”
Giles took of his glasses and sighed.
“I have been in contact with the Council. They have uncovered a prophecy. Actually, I think they may have known about it for some time. However, certain – signs - are appearing now and the Council is concerned.”
“Lemme guess,” said Xander. “Sunnydale with the rain and the floods, that’s gotta be a sign. And for the sixty-four thousand dollars, I’m guessing it’s a sign of apocalypse.”
Giles frowned. “You are, in fact, correct on both accounts,” he said with some reluctance as a wide grin spread over Xander’s face. Anya patted Xander’s knee with evident pride while Spike let out a grunt of impatience.
“So what’s the prophecy?” demanded Spike. “What sort of apocalypse?”
“Vampire progeny,” replied Giles.
“The what now?” asked Xander.
“The vampires are having babies, sweetie” explained Anya.
*******
“They can’t.” Buffy sounded disturbed.
“That’s true but they will. In fact, the Council believes there has been a first sighting.”
“Of what?”
“Of the - well, the progeny. They are foretold to be unlike other vampires.”
“In what way?”
“The prophecy says that they are indestructible and will roam the earth unhindered by anyone.”
“So basically,” said Xander, “We now have an unlimited supply of unkillable super vampires.”
“Yes, thank you for clarifying that,” said Giles.
“Not unlimited,” said Spike, “It’s not like every random vampire is going to just start having babies. There’s a whole mating ceremony.” He alone noticed Buffy wince.
“You know about this?” said Giles, suddenly sitting forward.
“Sure. Old vampire myth. Dru used to love this story. Always wanted a little vampire of her own.” He smiled fondly. He noticed the less than happy looks of the group. “Well, what do you want to know? When the end is nigh, the vampires shall know, the mating shall begin – oh, Hellmouth good location I suppose – the offspring shall spring forth and they’ll take over the world. Never liked that last bit. Oldies get left at home knitting while the kids take over the world. Not really my style.”
“How do I stop them?” demanded Buffy.
“You don’t. That’s the whole point, love. Them being unstoppable,” drawled Spike.
“Oh come on!” said Buffy impatiently. “They’re monsters, I kill monsters, so we find the weak point in the unkillable bit and I kill them. How hard can it be?”
“Spike is right, Buffy” Giles spoke reluctantly. “The prophecy is quite clear on that point. They will not be stopped as normal vampires are.”
“What do they do, get chips in their heads and sit around looking so pathetic that we feel too guilty to kill’em?” muttered Xander, earning a malevolent look from Spike and a wry smile from Buffy.
“What’s the big? So we find some new ways to persuade them to die.” Buffy sounded vaguely bored.
“I don’t want you to underestimate this just because it’s merely vampires that we’re dealing with,” said Giles, to be interrupted by a loud “Oy!” from Spike.
“The Council is taking it extremely seriously and I am inclined to agree. The problem will be, as always, on your doorstep. I want you to be careful when you patrol.”
“Patrol?” whined Buffy, wrinkling her nose. “It’s raining!”
Giles gave her a look. “Buffy, we need to stop this before it begins. Spike will stay here and help me with the mythological side of this for now but from here on in I want you to patrol together. And to be careful!”
Spike, looking smug, sat back and put his feet on a chair. Buffy made some incoherent noises of disgust and got ready to leave. Giles went to fetch seemingly unlimited quantities of paper and parchment, muttering to himself.
“God help us if the world depends on those two working together!”
Neither Spike nor Giles noticed as Buffy helped herself to Spike’s duster on her way out.
She left with a smile.
*******
The cemetery had all the charm of a ploughed field. There were no vampires about and Buffy was bored as she picked her way through the mud.
The fact that the absence of vampire activity suggested that said vampires might be engaged in other – activities – did little to lighten her mood. The last thing she needed to think about was vampires having sex. It was disgusting. And it tended to lead her head around to the idea of Spike. Spike having sex. Which was disgusting, perverted and wrong.
She also had a growing feeling of worry about the whole reproduction issue. The thought of a little vampire baby of her own caused her to break out in a cold sweat.
This disturbing train of thought was interrupted by an arm around her throat.
“Thieving bloody bitch!”
“Ooohh, Spike extols the virtue of honesty!”
“That is my duster girl and you are going to be sorry you ever touched it!”
In one move she broke his hold on her and pulled him head first over her shoulder. He landed with a splash in a particularly marshy piece of ground.
When she saw him, gasping, covered in mud and completely soaked through, she began to laugh. She continued to laugh as he pulled himself to his feet, looking in horror at his destroyed clothes. She laughed until her stomach hurt and she couldn’t catch her breath.
He advanced towards her, clearly trying to look threatening but all she could do was back away slightly, still bent double, more afraid that she might laugh herself to death that of any threat that he posed.
“Something funny pet?” he asked, grabbing her immobilised form with cold and filthy hands and dragging his duster off her body.
“D-don’t!” she choked. “I can’t…” she collapsed into convulsive giggles once more as she watched a trickle of dirty water run down his face. She tried to struggle as he picked her up in his arms but he ignored her feeble efforts.
She finally caught her breath as she hit the ground. The cold made her gasp, her laughter finally dissolving. She lay there, feeling the water penetrate her clothes and soak through to her skin. He stood over her, grinning.
“Still funny?” he enquired with a smirk. He straddled her, his knees in the mud and she squirmed beneath him. He moved on top of her, adjusting his position until she groaned. She felt his wet hand caress her breast. He pushed aside her soaking shirt and moved his mouth to her nipple. An icy hand began to reach beneath the waistband of her trousers. She moaned uncontrollably and opened her eyes enough to see his smile.
“You wet for me, love?” he growled. She flipped him on his back and reversed their positions. She roughly pulled down his trousers and took him in her own icy hands, smiling maliciously. He lay still and tense in the cold mud, waiting for her move now. She hoisted herself up onto him and set her rhythm. She battered him into the mud, holding his arms above his head and waiting to see if he would protest. He rose to meet her every thrust, a light in his eyes, loving every minute. This was Buffy. Laughing. Pounding him into the earth. He would take anything she’d give him. She came at last with a gasp and a cry, falling on top of his chest. He hugged her to him, feeling the beating of her heart slowly quieten. She shivered slightly.
“That’s it. Gettin’ you home. The end of the world is supposed to be coming and we don’t want you dying of pneumonia!”
“Can’t have that,” she agreed, “A violent death for me!”
She sat up and took a look at his bedraggled form. And started to laugh again.
“Oh god! I wish I had a camera. I think that might be the funniest picture in the world!”
They wandered back to Spike’s crypt arm in arm. They ambled along slowly on the basis that they couldn’t get any wetter anyway. They were nearly like a normal couple, thought Buffy. If normal couples had fights to the death in cemeteries before having earth shattering sex knee-deep in mud in the middle of apocalyptic thunderstorms.
“How did it go with Giles anyway? Any joy with the prophecies?” asked Buffy.
“Nothing I didn’t know already,” replied Spike, kicking muddy water at her for the fun of it.
“Hey! Anyway, I meant were you able to help him. You do seem to know an awful lot about all this.” She casually picked up a handful of mud and flung it at his head. He scowled briefly, then held up his hands in peace.
“Yeah, I filled him in on a few details. Poor old librarian stopped asking questions after a while.” Buffy looked at him questioningly. “Told him about the mating rituals, don’t think his stomach was strong enough for it.”
“Why? What happens?” demanded Buffy. “It’s not just….”
“Sex? Yeah there’s that, but it isn’t that simple. Look, you don’t want to know about it. I always thought it was revolting and I like blood and carnage.”
“Blood and carnage, huh?” said Buffy, trying not to sound relieved. “So you couldn’t, say, get pregnant just having sex with a vampire at a bad apocalypse time?”
“Relax love, there is no way you have anything to worry about,” he said, grinning at her concern.
“It’s not funny, you pig!” she said, elbowing him hard in the ribs.
“Oh come on, you and me? And a little me? We’d make a really cute family!” he said mischievously.
“Spike. See that lake over there that wasn’t there last week? Keep talking and I will drown you in it!”
He pulled her closer and hugged her, still smiling. She put an arm around his waist and they continued on their way.
***
As they approached the crypt, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“Hey, what happened to pneumonia and a nice warm bed?” she grumbled.
“There’s someone in there!” he whispered.
They crept forward and Spike peered through the door. Buffy thumped his shoulder as he hogged the only gap in the door and eventually she pulled him away.
“What?” she mouthed.
He moved back to let her look. She watched spellbound for some minutes as Spike tried in vain to wrestle back his position. Finally she backed away, looking strange. She walked further and he followed her.
“You okay, love?” he asked.
“Wow. Never seen anything like that,” she managed, a little shakily.
“I think that would be our “Vampire Progeny” being born,” said Spike, attempting to imitate Giles, but also sounding a little odd.
“We need to get to Giles.”
*******
“It was the grossest thing that I have ever seen!” explained Buffy for the fifth time.
Giles sighed. “Yes, that much you’ve made clear, but you’re still going to have to tell us what actually happened.”
“Childbirth. Vampire-birth. Grossest thing I have ever seen in my entire life!”
“That’s the burden of women,” sighed Willow. “Though shouldn’t it end when you’re dead?”
“It looks waaay worse for vampires. Serves’em right I suppose, causing another apocalypse. But it really was…”
“The grossest thing you’ve ever seen,” mocked Spike. “And this is the girl who saves the world every day!” he continued resignedly, running a hand through his hair and dripping mud all over the floor to Anya’s evident alarm. “Anyway, ladies, you’re forgetting that daddy was there too and him helping didn’t stop him being eaten aswell!”
“She ate him?” said Willow, shocked. “I know it’s painful, and people get stressed during childbirth but.… wow!”
“Not her! The baby! It got born – yeuch! – then it ate its parents! Not just drank some blood. Took great chunks out of their necks with its big nasty teeth!” Buffy waved her hands about for emphasis.
“Vampires don’t eat vampires,” stated Xander with the air of one sticking to comforting, well-known facts.
“They don’t give birth either. We live in strange times.” Buffy gave a half-hearted laugh.
“As usual.”
“This may explain the strength foretold of,” pondered Giles. “If it drinks of two vampires as soon as it’s born, that must impart tremendous power.”
“Hang on,” said Xander. “Am I the only one who’s noticed that this is so not a problem? It’s the end of the world for vampires! They’re the ones getting eaten. And worst case scenario, we replace two parents with one kid. I can do the math. That’s less vampires!”
“I think that’s rather an oversimplification of the present circumstances, Xander,” replied Giles.
Spike snorted. “Of course it bloody is! You’re going to wait for the kids to wipe out the vampire population of the world. Then what? You have less to kill? Problem, dunderhead, is that the ones left over are the unkillable ones! Done the maths! What about logic?”
“You’re just snippy cos the vampires are going to get eaten for a change!” pointed out Anya, attempting to comfort Xander.
“And, um, you didn’t attempt to fight the beast?” asked Giles.
“You said it couldn’t be killed!” said Buffy indignantly. “Plus, kinda queasy.”
“Okay people, we need to think coherently!” Giles stood up with the air of one taking command. “We need possible loopholes in the prophecy so this will be an all night research effort. Spike and Buffy, you should go home. You need to rest and you both look as though you’ve been hard at it.”
Buffy studiously ignored Spike but would have bet her life that he was smirking.
*******
“Bit of appreciation here, love. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be doing all night research with the most exciting people this side of an old folk’s home!”
“How d’you figure?” she asked lazily, leaning back against him and letting the warm water wash over her.
“Well, it’s my fault you were all wet and muddy and tired looking and that’s why the librarian gave you the night off, innit?” He slid his arms around her waist and made soapy circles around her stomach.
“I feel bad, not helping. If the end of the world comes I’ll feel worse. And I’m not tired looking!” she grumbled.
“Yeah, you’re a bundle of energy you are!” he chuckled as he soaped her breasts with no resistance. She moaned and arched her back against his body.
“You didn’t do too badly out of all this either! You got to stay here!”
“You’re just too good to me, love,” he said with mock-sincerity. “Imagine not making me sleep in a crypt that’s a foot deep in water and recently inhabited by me-killing monsters!”
“I think I’m very nice. And it’s only cos Dawn’s staying with a friend, so don’t get any ideas!” She yawned.
“Come on sleepyhead, bed!”
“Still don’t feel clean,” she pouted.
Before she realised, he had slid down her body and was on his knees. He looked up at her with an evil grin. “We can look after that. How clean do you want to be?” She gasped as she felt his tongue between her legs. She felt a ripple of pleasure. And a tremor in her knees.
“We could go to bed?” she tried to sound casual. He laughed and picked her up, carrying her into her room and laying her on the bed.
“Why do you always have to be right?” she complained as his hand parted her legs and caressed her gently. He murmured something incoherent as his head disappeared from view and his mouth took over from his hand. His hands held her hips firmly in place as her body tried to writhe with pleasure. Way too good at this, she thought, as his teeth grazed her, sending shockwaves through her body. His tongue stabbed at her harder and harder until she came. Again.
“I’m going to save the world tomorrow,” he declared, laying back with his arms behind his head and looking mightily pleased with himself.
“Feeling all manly now, are you?” she teased.
“I mean it. Gonna sort these beasties out!”
“The vampire eating über-beasties? Knock yourself out!”
“Hey! You’re not taking me seriously!” He sounded indignant. “I bet I will! I bet you!”
“Spike. You’re not going to save the world.” She yawned and turned over. “That’s my job.”
“So if I save the world you will admit it. Out loud. That I saved the world and I’m better than you. And you’ll be my slave.”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “You aren’t going to save the world!”
“Then you won’t mind betting!”
“Okay. Go. Save the world. Let me sleep.” Her eyes were closed by the time she had finished and her breathing had deepened before Spike had a chance to argue.
*******
“How much armoury do you need?” asked Buffy in disbelief, as she watched Spike prepare for patrol the following evening.
“You can never be too well prepared,” he said defensively, adding an extra crossbow to his stack of weapons.
“Never knew you were a boy scout!” She looked amused. “Let me guess, you ate one?”
“This is no laughing matter,” he said sternly, finally ready to leave. “These things are dangerous!”
“Now you sound like Giles. And what happened to ‘I’m going to save the world’?”
“That’ll be easier if I’m not dead!” he explained.
“It’ll be easier if we ever get to patrol tonight too!” she retorted, dragging him towards the door.
“Okay, coming. Start with my crypt?”
They splashed their way across the cemetery.
“So…what’s the plan? Do we have a plan?” grumbled Buffy. “We get to your crypt and we give the unkillable vampires a welcome party? Say ‘Hi, watch how we can’t kill you with our piles of scary weapons?’”
“I wish you’d given up so easy when I turned up in this hell hole!” said Spike in disgust. “I don’t remember you hiding away saying ‘Oh no, he kills slayers!’”
“True. I kicked your ass,” agreed Buffy, smugly.
He gave her a withering look. “So now we kick the junior vamps into the middle of next week. And make sure they’re nice and dead so they stay there.”
“So are we doing stealthy or….” Buffy trailed off as Spike kicked down the door of the crypt with a crash. “Or we could get megaphones.”
He barged in, weapons raised; then tripped over floating debris and splashed to the ground.
“I’m patrolling with Krusty the Klown!” said Buffy with a sigh as she offered him a hand. He ignored it and scrambled to his feet in fury.
“Look what they’ve done to my crypt!” he ranted. The crypt had been destroyed, with pieces of broken furniture floating in the ankle deep water.
“Well, the flood probably did most……Bad vampire children!” said Buffy, amused at his rage.
“Do you know how long it took to set this place up? When I get my hands on the bastards.….”
“Shouldn’t be too hard. They did just hear dinner arriving,” said Buffy, pointing to the back of the room. Her first instinct was to laugh. The clumsy looking, half-sized vampires lumbering toward them did not look the most fearsome foe.
Spike lunged at them, hacking at the first with a long, sturdy knife. It made contact with the vampire’s neck without doing the slightest damage. Spike, looking puzzled, tried again.
“I guess that’s the unkillable bit,” said Buffy, firing a crossbow at the second creature. The stake travelled through its heart and out the other side. The vampire had made no effort to avoid the stake and seemed unperturbed by the experience.
Spike and Buffy exchanged glances.
“So what do we do with them?” wondered a disgruntled Buffy.
“Maybe we can beat them unconscious?” Spike suggested hopefully, advancing aggressively with an iron bar.
He hit the creature twice before it reacted. It picked him up and hurled him across the room.
“Hey!” he yelled indignantly.
“Buffy, torn between helping him and laughing at him, didn’t notice the second creature make a move until it was almost upon her. She parried its kicks and punches, surprised by its strength. And hitting it didn’t seem to make much of an impact.
“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” she muttered at the creature as it attempted to grab her by the waist. She kicked it, loosening its grip.
“Wow. What are those things?” Buffy looked up to see Xander.
“Xander, get the hell out of here!” she yelled at him
“You don’t need a hand?” he asked, holding out a stake.
“These things don’t die!” she gasped as she felt the air being squeezed from her lungs.
A blood-curdling cry from the corner interrupted them and they turned to see Spike pinned to the ground, the small but now vicious looking creature on top of him baring its fangs.
Xander ran towards him, pulling half a chair from the watery ground and beating the creature with it. Throwing the chair aside, he grabbed it, catching it by its ears and distracting it sufficiently for Spike to kick himself free.
“I’m sorry. We’ll have to reschedule!” Buffy told her attacker, finally breaking its grip and flinging it off.
***
Buffy, Spike and Xander ran for their lives.
“Okay, that was not good!” panted Xander, sliding to a halt.
“What were you even doing there?” demanded Buffy. “It’s dangerous at the moment. Or always!”
“Passing by, heard the racket.”
“Shouldn’t be “passin’ by” my crypt without an invitation,” snapped Spike, still looking the worse for wear.
“Even when there’s, like, crashing and yelling?”
“Especially then!” said Spike with a dark look. Buffy tried hard not to nod in agreement.
“Not even a thank you!” said Xander to himself in disbelief. He looked over his shoulder. “How come the evil monster babies didn’t follow?”
“They seem kinda…placid really,” said Buffy thoughtfully.
Spike snorted. “Yeah, real placid. Like hungry baby crocodiles with big pointy teeth!”
“Well, they just stood there until you started beating them up with an iron bar!” Buffy pointed out.
“Well, that’s all right then!” declared Spike. “We’ll just leave the harmless little babies to their placid little lives until they’ve finished with us and they come after you!” He stormed off.
“What’s his problem?” said Xander, shaking his head.
“They wreaked his crypt and you saved his life. That does not make for a happy vampire. I should go after him or he’ll get himself killed. Will you head back to Giles, fill him in?”
“Sure thing. Tell Spikey if he needs me he just has to yell and I’ll come a-running. So I can laugh at his bloody and painful death!”
Buffy smiled and started after Spike
“Hey! Where are you going? You know you can’t fight these things?” she called after his fast-retreating back.
“Willie’s!” came the sullen reply. He didn’t turn around.
“Oh, that’s right! You go get drunk! That’ll help. That’ll solve everything!”
She got no reply.
“Stupid alcoholic not-boyfriend!” she said to herself as she began the trek home.
*******
“We have it Buffy! A loophole!” Giles greeted her entrance with excitement the following evening.
“Cool, what’s the deal?”
“The prophecy specifies that the progeny cannot be killed by any normal method; stakes, fire, beheading.”
“Really? You don’t say! You know, some day we must try getting you to read the books before I go out and get myself half-killed!”
“Or maybe some day you’ll try actually listening to me. But then we’ve been to the end of the world and it hasn’t happened yet so I won’t hold my breath.” Giles gazed at the ceiling.
“Okay, okay!” Buffy conceded defeat. “Tell the news! Slayer is all ears!”
“What the prophecy specifies is that they cannot be killed by our side. By the forces of good! It doesn’t mean they can’t be killed at all.”
“Oh,” said Buffy, processing this information. “So how come Spike got his ass kicked? And most vampires have done more getting killed than killing.”
“I said we found a loophole. I didn’t say we understood how it might work!” blustered Giles.
Spike chose this moment to barge into the room, a smirk on his face.
“Done it! Saved the world!” he declared with a swagger.
“You what!” Buffy turned around sharply.
“Said I would!” he pointed out, grinning.
“What did you….how?” asked Giles.
“Well the way I saw it, the Whelp here was right. We were the ones gettin’ persecuted in all of this. Vamps. So I went to talk to some contacts I still have. Ones who don’t want to kill me. And I put it to them, reasonable like, that if vampires have these monster babies we’re all going to die. We like living forever and they saw my point. They organised a campaign and we got a bit of a mass movement going. All very persuasive. No more babies. See? I saved the world!”
“Spike saved the world,” echoed Buffy, hollowly.
“Through……diplomacy,” said Giles, looking baffled.
“Vampire trade union!” said Xander, shaking his head. “Scary. But what about the already-born monsters?”
“Less of the diplomacy with that one,” admitted Spike. “We rounded them up and killed them.”
“But how?” demanded Buffy. “What happened to ‘unkillable’?”
“I think we found a loophole in that one,” said Spike. “You may not be able to but we have our ways.”
He was regarded with quizzical looks by all. “Oh alright, we drank’em!”
“Eeewww!” said pretty much everyone in unison.
“Now don’t be like that, this is the man who saved the world!”
“You do know that we do that every day and we don’t make such a song and dance about it!” said Buffy, exasperated.
“Bit of credit here, love!” he said, sitting on the table beside her and waggling his eyebrows. She sighed. Never making bets with stupid, smug, always-right vampires again.
“He’s right!” declared Willow. “Apocalypse over, time to celebrate!” They began to make a move to leave. Buffy stood up.
“Guys!” she said with a deep sigh. “I want to say something while you’re all here.”
Spike looked at her, surprised. She was actually going to do it.
“I think we should all thank Spike for what he’s done for us. We don’t always appreciate him and…..he saved the world. When we couldn’t.” She caught his eye. “When I couldn’t,” she clarified, trying to contain her irritation.
“Well, quite,” said Giles, looking confused. “And I do think that we all need a drink now.”
*******
“That wasn’t too bad for a start,” he said with a grin as the group headed towards the Bronze. “Not quite the gushing speech of loving adoration I would have written for you but….not bad. Being nice, it’s not really in your nature is it?”
She turned on him.
“You know what’s in my nature? Staking you!” He caught her wrist and pulled her closer.
“Ah ah ah! That wasn’t part of the deal!” He grinned and snaked an arm around her waist.
“Not here!” she hissed. “And if you actually think I’m going to….”
“Keep the deal? Be my slave?” he murmured into her neck. “You know you want to.”
“In your dreams!” she said firmly, trying to ignore the hand on her waist.
“Oh yeah!” he sighed, his breath catching.
She met his eyes.
“You know it’s never going to happen,” she said softly.
“Why?” he mocked. “You got a loophole?”
“Oh yeah!” she whispered with a smile, reaching for his belt and pulling him towards herself.
“I could never be your slave,” she explained, her voice low and seductive. “Cos Spike, you’d much rather be mine.”
He closed his eyes and swallowed. Bitch. She had him there.
“So how about you go clean up your crypt that looks like a flooded bomb site and I just might join you later?”
“There are…..other places, pet,” he said suggestively, turning his eyes in the direction of the cemetery. “We could just slip off quietly….”
She felt a shiver run down her spine. Damn. He had her there.
“Guys!” she yelled. “Me and Spike have some…stuff we have to do, see you later!”
“Ah yes, slayer stealth,” said Spike, rolling his eyes.
“Do you remember me threatening to drown you?”
“Oh yeah!” he replied, eyes lighting up.
“Oh yeah.”