Go Back 20 Years Or So
May 20, 1977 Thoughts - part II
Place: Lake Catholic High School
Time: 11:10 AM
I haven't finished my notebook at home yet, but I am starting this
one so that there is some overlap. I just numbered all of the pages in
this book. We are having shortened periods today so I don't really have
much time. School is a bitch and only 13 bitch days left. I plan on
writing in my blue book journal tonight and finishing it.
May 20, 1977 3rd Entry for today. (It's really 12:15 AM May 21, 1977)
I went to the Disco-Bowl and I had a great time. When I first got there
I saw Joe Busigoni. I watched them bowl for a while. Then Colleen
Manory and Rose Ann (?) came in and asked me to bowl with them and I said "sure."
I like Rose Ann from the beginning but I was careful not to show anypartiality. We bowled one game for real, then
one that didn't count. We scored it to 115 each, although no one really scored 115. Then Harold Norsic came in.
Harold and I bowled a game and when we got to the 7th frame Rose Ann and Colleen came back. We finished the game
and went to the Disco, which had just opened up. The girls tried to teach us how to dance. We danced the bump and
some others. We were doing these dances and when we got to the kick Harold said forget it. He wanted to meet Laura
Mog who was there. So we went to look for her so that I could introduce him to her. We didn't find her, so we went
to bowl some more with some other guys. I went back to talk to the girls. A lot more went on, but anyway...
Colleen went to the john and Rose Ann lead me up to the dance floor. A slow dance was going on. I said, "Oh,
you want to slow dance?" She said "Show me how."
"You're putting me on"
"No"
"Ah, Ah Well"
"I mean, how do you move your feet?"
"Well, ah, you don't much."
Finally, we went up there. We got along just great. After the slow dance
we bumped and that was good too. We got tired, so we sat down. Then I don't know what happen, the girls went to
the bathroom with some friends.
Anyway, I was alone so I went over to see Harold. He was bowling and I tried to get him away so that he would talk
to Laura Mog. Anyway, we went back into the disco tech again and we sat at a table. Laura was dancing in front
of us on the dance floor. Finally, Harold got me to ask Laura to sit down and talk with us. She said, "Doesn't
he ever give up?" Harold was sitting there smoking and I said, "Come on, just come over and just talk
for a minute." She said," I don't like guys who smoke." I just told Harold that he blew it and he
got super depressed. The last half hour we sat at the bar and talked about committing suicide. Does that sound
like fun? Of course not. Well, I tried to cheer him up and that worked to an extent, but that was it. He talked
about getting bombed tonight and partying tomorrow. I told him that I would come over tomorrow and help him, ha
ha. Well, I won't know until tomorrow will I? I was in a good mood until "Stairway to Heaven" was played,
because Rose Ann had left. Besides that I was in an excellent mood and I remain so until now. More to come... Tomorrow
I hope.
May 21, 1977
Today was fun, like I promised. I went over to Harold's house at 4:00, but what happened before was important too.
I got up at 12:00 noon, talked with my grandparents and fed the squirel.
If I didn't say so previously, the squirrel is so tame that he sits right
on your leg and eats peanuts. The neighbor kids scared Spy away. My mom went up to the Mall with my grand parents
and my dad took my brother to a baseball game. My mom left again soon after she got home from the Mall. I called
Harold and told him that I would be over at 3:30, but I didn't get there until 4:00, because the baseball game
lasted so long.
Anyway, when I did get there we talked a little and then we went to Robby Farrar's house. (By the way, talking
about new names, I really screwed up yesterday's entry by saying that the girl I met was Rose Ann, but it wasn't.
I looked her picture up in the yearbook and it turned out that her name was Sharon Marowl. "Ro" is her
nickname. I think that you can understand that. Funny, I don't.) I had known Robby from 4th grade and before. We
were really good friends. When he moved we lost contact. It's really funny how people are attracted to each other.
Harold made friends with him before I knew Harold and after he had known me. I made friends with Harold afterward,
but I didn't know that Harold knew him for quite a while. What was even stranger was how Robby had some of the
basic ideas that I had and still have. Then we partied. (#2) Robby got me to thinking and I realized that this
journal is always changing form. When I first started this journal I thought that when I had a good thought I should
write it down, but lately I've blown it. I've just been putting down facts, not the thoughts that were purpose
of this jornal. So, in order to close off today's entry I will end with a thought.
I think that there is more than one type of intellgence. One is the ability
to blank your mind and concentrate to an important learning experience.
Another is how well you can think and reason. Still another may be the ability to coordinate muscular ability and
thought. There are still more, but I have to get some sleep.
I just want to close with a final thought. The combination of the varying
degrees of each of these many many types of intelligence cause a person's mental habits. All are learned from conception
right up to and past today.
May 23, 1977
I am seriously considering the Air Force Accadimy. Reading this and considering what has been written just recently
you may have gotten the impression that I am just a burnout smoking pot. I'm not though, you see, I figure that
some people do it all the time. But I don't, I did it two times and that's it. I still believe that the best "High"
is a natural high. This is easily acquired by the people who want to acquire it. As far as I'm concerned all you
have to do is forget everything and meditate on your favorite idea, plan, fantasy or whatever your little heart
desires. Just remember to forget everything. Drop everything. The only important thing is what you day dream about.
The day dream can be expanded so that you practically find yourself in the world of your mind. If you become as
good at this as I am you can actually feel what you touch in your mind. Someone that reads this is bound not to
believe me. So for them I say: Life is a game. You're mission is to figure out how it works. If you think that
you have found something that works then try to prove it wrong. So, try to prove something the opposite of what
most people are completely convinced that it is the only way.
You must ponder life. Life is an experience given to you by an accident. Its an accidental chemical reaction
that took place a couple of billion years ago. People worship the God that caused this reaction. The God that caused
this reaction may be a Cosmic wind or a black hole. Whatever It is if It does have consciousness It knows that
I am wrong in this case and I apologize that my theory of the day is wrong.
May 25, 1977
I was just thinking, everyone knows that most of the dope in the country
is smuggled into the big cities. The rich whites pay lots of money to get
this. The money then goes into circulation in the cities and this help the
economy. (I thought about this and even before I finished writing it I
realized that it would be great except that the money doesn't go into circulation. It goes into the hands of the
Boss Men or Big Men.)
While I'm on the subject of the economy, I have realized that the economy works better the faster the money is
spent. Therefore, taxes should be levied on "Stale Money" instead of dividends paid for storing the money
in banks. Money should always be moving, therefore everyone would be rich. Imagine that at 12:00 one person has
a paycheck ($500) that he has just gotten from work. At 1:00 he spends it on something and the store orders and
pays for something else at 2:00. At 3:00 the company invests the money in another company. The company does better,
and the workers get raises. I can't any more, I'm too tired, but I'm glad I got the idea down a little bit. Good
Night.
May 27, 1977
I was just sitting here thinking. I was thinking about many things. I was
thinking of all of them at once. You can't understand how it feels until
you've done it. The only way that I can explain it is that its like you are
aware of all of these facts at the same time. Sometimes when I think of too many things at once I forget about
the easiest one to drop at the time. Sometimes this one happens to be the awareness of reality. When this happens
it is like day dreaming 4 or 5 day - dreams at once.
Well, anyway I am reading "The Pigman" and I think that its an excellent
book. When I read it I wish that I could write as well. At once I fell in
love with the character Lorraine. For the last week or so I've been riding
my bike (to exercise my legs). Really, I was sight seeing. You know, looking for girls. I never knew that there
were so many girls in our neighborhood.
Anyway, that's not what I was thinking about.
I would ride every street twice; that's about six miles or so. Well, these
girls live on a court, and I pass by every time I ride down their court of
course. The first time I saw them nothing happened. The second time one girl asked me why I rode down their street.
I told her "exercise." She was pretty cute, so I asked her what her name was, as I usually do to keep
the conversation moving. She said, "Donna" I told her that she looked bored. She said "ya"
I told her that it was nice that someone wasinterseted in me. (Meaning that it was a nice gesture that she had
asked me why I was riding my bike.) She thanked me and there was silence. I couldn't stand the silence, so I said
"See you around." She said,"Ya." I left.
Well anyway, I rode my bike around today just as ussual. But today I saw Donna twice. Once when she was walking
with one of her friends and then she said "Hi" The second time she was with a group of (5) friends. Some
how I gathered that she was talking about me. It was probably because when I rode by someone yelled, "Donna
likes you." I rode by again pretending that I hadn't heard what they said and I said "What?" They
said "Nothing" so I rode off.
Now, I've been contemplating. Did I do the right thing? Should I ride by again? What's the next step? Does she
really like me? What can I do? So far I think that I'll continue to ride my regular route. I'm not going to alter
it for some fucking broad.
I shouldn't have sworn on this page, I mean its page 13. Well, it's not really page 13, actually its page 173 in
the total book. (That is 2 and not 4 like 13)
I wrote an Editorial about summer for the Lakeline, the School Newspaper. I didn't know if it was the best that
I could do. It was rewritten and changed more than 3 times.
Another thought wandering my mind was the letter that I haven't finished writing to my German penpal. It is too
hard to think of something different to ask and say when you have spring fever.
Another thing that I have been wondering about was how Mary Pat took my letter that I wrote to her. If she even
got it. If she sends one back tome I'll receive it shortly.
Then, there is the idea of partying. Should I do it? How often? When? Why? Why not? Does it hurt? (I mean later
in life.) Anyway, its just a bunch of questions that are running through my mind on that subject.
Then there is the fact that I wrote about the girls clothes in the other book. I haven't done it since. I am sort
of proud I guess.
Yet girls are my main thought from now on. I hope.
May 30, 1977
A Dream:
I Dreamt that I was just learning to use the van. (standard shift) We were in a parking lot and I put it into
reverse. I let the clutch out and I began to move backward. I turned the wheels and I did almost a complete U-turn.
(traveling backward) The parking place that I was moving into was unoccupied, but a car was pulling into it. I
couldn't stop the van, so it continued backward. I hit the car. The police came and I was innocent because of some
illogical BS that I could only understand in my dream.
Besides this dream, I think that somehow I am becoming able to understand people better. I am realizing so many
things about myself and others that it is really frightening sometimes. I think that I understand myself better
than I did when I began this journal (Thought Book).
Right now I feel as if I thought that I could understand so many things before, but I have learned that I am only
beginning to realize my life. this earth, and eternity. Now I realize that so much of what I wrote then meant so
much then, but now I don't care. Yet I realize again that some of the stuff I wrote meant a lot and I can learn
from it NOW. The thing is that somehow I feel that writing about what I have written is a waste of space. (figure
my thinking)
June 1, 1977
I have noticed so many things that contradict almost everything that I have written in this journal. It sort of
depresses me to think of all the time I spent writing these false ideas down. I think that I always knew that this
time would come, but I always tried to prevent it. I think that this comes very gradually. In fact I will probably
make entries into this book later that will not make complete sense.
Lately, I have discussed the fact that there is a difference between a person that thinks deeply and a person who
has scholastic ability. Scholastic ability is not a detriment instead it is very good, because it shows how much
you pay attention and retain knowledge that is expressed to you. This type of ability is very important in early
life. If you don't have some of the actual intellect you won't really make anything of yourself. Many people have
actual intellect, but not the scholastic ability. These people lose in much of the job competition because of their
lack of ability to retain the knowledge necessary for writing or other comunication. They have lost the value of
their mind only to the use of themselves.
I have realized that I have become very thought conscious and I am always thinking of the more important facets
of life (girls, luxury, cars and of course my own imagination).
Some people call this day-dreaming and to a certain extent they are right but this day dreaming is a form of escape
for me and I enjoy it. I think that the most exciting for of the natural "high."
Luckily I retain enough of the taught knowledge to do fairly well in school. My mother is not happy with "fairly
well." I am however, because at this point in my life I believe that my purpose is to day dream. In fact,
that is what I am doing right now. I consider this to be day dreaming (writing in this journal) At this point in
my life I believe I believe that true eternal happiness can be found through day dreaming. Although I say this
I definitely don't condone this type of life because if everyone did do this the world would be total chaos.
I predict that this type of world could come to be. It could be some type of retirement community in which machines
would control everything. People would willingly donate their minds for the advancement of the earth. I other
words, people would volunteer to die away from real life and machines would monitor their thoughts and record everything.
People could volunteer for 8 hours,
16 hours or 24 hours which ever they wanted. Each thought would be read by learning students. Thought could be
analyzed. (I want to make it clear that people volunteering would be on a separate planet, island or whatever.)
This probably won't happen soon, but not until man has perfected for over 500 years.
June 7, 1977
Tomorrow Is our last full day of school. Thursday is a half day. Plus, I take my driving test on Thursday as well.
The summer promises to be terrific if I gain a few more priviledges. Gaining them will be difficult.Psychology
plays a major role in this unique game. Just thinking about it
makes me wonder. I mean, just how much psychology is really involved. How much is actually pure coincidence or
love. I really shouldn't be writing this down, but half of this journal shouldn't have been written either. So,
what the hell, I'll write what I feel until someone disaproves. Like the Nazis burning the books to limit the minds
of the German people. I'll always write what I feel where ever it may be. (In the back of note books, scraps, etc..)
On in to the writing world I go. I believe the world will not end as soon as it is expected. "Tomorrow"
I think that what God meant by the end of the world was the end of the Universe. This would be (most probably)
caused when the matter and anti-matter universes collide, or touch. (Which ever is most easily understood.)
This means that man can not control his own destiny in any way. (Including mind control-- "1984") So
with this understood the possibility of advancement still exists. Even if a cobalt bomb is detonated and the atmosphere
is contaminated people may still exist to out live this generation of nuclear power. I also believe that science
advancement has been slowing down greatly in the last few years.
So, I feel that when people obtain the satisfaction of material goods science has produced then science will slack
off back to the days of private inventors again. But this time everyone will have many of the necessities for inventing.
We probably won't reach out into space as often
as is expected by sci-fi books and stories. This will be due to lack of speed and the cost of exploration. I feel
that I should write "good ole Jimmy" the current president again. I know that it won't do very much good
its the thought that counts.
Now, I want to make it clear that what I say is what I believe now and not when you read this. (But possibly) I
want to be certain that you understand this because I have been so radical in my statements.
Auf Wiedersehen!
June 11, 1977 Schools out!!!
I passed the driving test and I have my license. Yesterday I went to Ceder Point. From the end of school on Thursday
until Today everything has gone great. Driving around with Bird and by myself. Everything is great. I had a dream
last night that was pretty cool, so I guess that I'll write it down.
The setting was at school. Some other guy and I decided that we had to go into the locker room for something. We
just opened the door and walked around the corner. There was Jill Moroz in her underwear getting dressed. I was
quite sure that this was the boy's locker room, but I decided that we better exit any way. (There were 5 other
girls getting dressed, but Jill sticks out in my mind.)
We went on the other side of this fairly low wall (7ft.). We didn't leave the locker room because we felt that
Jill would soon be undressed and we wanted to get some kicks. We knew how girls were so embarrassed to let anyone
see them naked. We waited about 5 minutes (or less) and then we jumped up on the wall and peaked our heads over
the side. Mrs. Robbinson (the girls gym teacher) was blocking the view, so we just figured that it was no use.
So we gave up and headed for the door. When we opened it up
there were a few girls in front of us that began to ask us what we were doing in there. We lead them back into
the locker room and pointed to the wall. "We were watching the happenings" I said. I showed them how
I jumped on the wall. We got down and moved back toward the girls. Oh girl yelled "What did they see?"
then she ran and jumped up on the wall. She got up on the top of the wall and she lost her balance and fell forward
hands first. As she hit the
ground the girls screamed and ran. We ran with them to the other side of the wall. Mrs. Robbinson was already bandaging
her leg." Her leg?" I thought. I thought that she must have landed on her arms or head.
That was it, but I remember a little about what happened before we went into the locker room. I think that the
dream began with me heading for lunch, but it was the last day or something simalar. So, I decided to cut in on
Caroline's art class. The teacher was really strange because she thought I was in her class all year. She knew
my name somehow. I was eating star bursts and when she saw me eating one she asked for one. So, I unwrapped it
and gave it to her.
She threw it away. A little while later she asked me for two. I unwrapped them and gave them to her. She wiped
them into the garbage can. Next time she asked for three and I gave her three and then she threw them into the
garbage can again. Twenty minutes had gone by and I was supposed to be in lunch so that's when I met the kid and
we walked down to the gym and locker room.
That was it, I have had so many dreams lately, but I haven't written them down. I just had a day time hallucination.
There were two kids in my room and one asked the other, "Jim have you ever committed suicide before?"
That's spooky, I think I got to cut the grass now. I'll be trying to think about what it means. From a segment
of one of my dreams Lynard Skynard will hold a concert sometime between July 2 and July 10. I hope its the 7th
because that day is 7-7-77. It seems to be special somehow.
June 14, 1977
Dream:
It was an excellent dream and I am positive that I won't be able to describe it as accurately as I would like.
It began with me going to sleep. Suddenly I was awoken and my father was standing there. He said that we were going
swimming at this pool that he had rented out for 24 hours. It was like my dad had just come home from a party or
something because we were going with a bunch of people. When we got there we played around with a ball, just throwing
it back and forth. (maybe it was tag or something). Everyone began to leave little by little, and finally we decided
to leave. This was a super strange night because I went down stairs at 2:00AM to meet my father when he came home
from work (real life). When I went back to bed my dream continued again. I was awoken at 4:30AM by some unusual
sound (dream). I snuck out the window and headed for the car. Something was going on. Oh I remember. There was
a police car that came by and arrested about nine guys with fishing poles. They were fishing in our neighbors pool.
It was really funny and I remember the policemen dragging one guy into his car. He said, "That's $50.00 a
fish, and you should know better, fishing in other peoples pools is against the law." Just imagine nine guys
fishing around a pool in the moonlight. Anyway, I got in the car and drove off to the pool that we had rented.
It was pretty strange because I thought that I had left in an empty car, but now my whole family, some friends
and even some neighbors were in the car. However, it didn't seem crowded. We got to the pool building and walked
into the pool room. (This part is sort of gross.) There was a girl, (17 or 18) lying on the floor by the Jacuzzi.
All that she had on was a T-shirt. She had her legs spread apart. The muzzle of her vagina was moving (sick). I
was intrigued, so I looked closer. She turned her head and saw that there we had come in. She slid into the Jacuzzi.
It was pretty funny. I looked around for my bathing suit and then I realized that I had forgotten it. The only
thing that I could wear was a girls swim suit. I said sure what the hell and I put it on right in the middle of
everyone. The girl in the Jacuzzi said "gee, what a nice one." I said, "thank-you" and I got
into the suit and dove into the pool. The girl in the Jacuzzi followed me and I got to know her.
After a while, my dad asked me to go to the store and get something. The girl came with me. We drove around and
finally came to the store. I don't recall what happened after that.
I don't think that my dreams are centered around sex anymore. (Oh, maybe a few.) They are centered around meeting
girls, just having fun or who knows what else. My dreams are becoming so interesting that sometimes I can hardly
wait for the next night. I rarely see any repeats. Besides dreams, I can hardly wait until my first date with the
car. I am already planning it and I have about three weeks before it is even possible.
June 15, 1977
Dreams, they are so very strange, yet sometimes they mean something. I figured that I shouldn't write them down
in this book every time I have a dream, although quite often they are very interesting. I think that some days
I don't feel like writing, so I won't. If I do decide to write one down, I think that I should write the whole
thing down. Not just parts like I did in the previous journal. I just wanted to make this clear and of course as
everything in this book is subject to my thoughts they may change from day to day.
Anyway, here is a dream that happened last night: I should begin it in the place that it started, but I can't remember
where it started. I do know that it doesn't make all that much difference because this part was a story in its
self.
I was riding the escalator upward and planning to attend a French Dinner. It was all so very strange because I
knew that it was on the 20th floor of the restaurant, although no-one had told me. There was a table set for dinner.
We were seated and a cute waitress came by and served us salad. We (I don't remember who the other people were,
but I'm pretty sure that my brother was one.) walked up to the salad bar to put the fixings on top. I put my usual
French dressing on the leaves and I began to search for the grated cheese. I couldn't find any, so I walked through
an open door that was behind the salad bar. I found out that this was an office like room with a book shelf. It
had nothing to do with the food, I mean no food that I could see. I began to look through the junk and stuff. I
was paging through an old book when I was approached by the waitress. She politely questioned my presence. I told
her that I was looking for some cheese. She lead me back into the room with the escalator and the ONE table that
was set for dinner. I began to eat my cheerless salad and the waitress explained that she had just been moved to
this floor from the ground floor. Therefore she didn't have enough time to get organized.
A little while later two young girls came up to me and told me to look in the black purse that they had carried
with them. They reminded me of two little girls that live down the street. I opened the purse and looked inside
and there was a squirrel like creature with black eyes that appeared to be much to big for his head. When I reached
into the purse to pet it it escaped. It ran around the place and I quickly ran over to guard the esculator. I sat
there and watched the chase scene and I thought about how funny it looked. Soon he was rounded up. We went back
to eating, but while eating I had an idea. I decided to put a hat on the squirrel creature's head. I don't know
where I got it from (must have been mid-air), but where ever it came from I put it on his head. The hat was much
to big for him, and he got away again. I went to guard the escalator again. I just sat there watching this little
hat run around the floor. After that I woke up.
I can tell that my notebook has improved quite a bit since the beginning of Freshman year and I hope that it improves
even more. I have decided that I should make this a log of my high school years. When my son is entering 9th grade
I should present this to him, if I live that long.
So, a message to the future. Kid, you'll have great times and you'll have lousy times but most of all remember
that no matter how bad it gets it's always interesting. So go to the hilt and live life to the fullest yielding
only unto death. Don't think about what others think because you should be the leader that leads the pack. If you're
not then you are like me -- Not a loner, not a follower, just a separate soul. I hope this helps you because remember
I was 16 when I wrote this and I probably will think differently when I am your father.
If I don't get married the you'll never be born and therefore you will never read this and in that case I hope
that some teenager somewhere will benefit from the philosophy that I have lived by for many years. It is 7:04PM
EST if that means anything to you.
Because, if I had my way I would rework the whole timing system. It is very inaccurate. I would make the second
a meaningful piece of time keeping in atomic science. I would make each day consist of 10 hours broken down by
100 minutes etc...Then it would come down to the (tiny) mini second that the scale was based on.
Right now, I plan to get something to eat and then I will write a letter to Mary Pat (my cousin). Absteigen --
Get Down!
Just for the hell of it try Cm6 C7 at any rhythm then maybe Fm6 F7. I don't know why, It just hit me.
June 18, 1977
I am going to swim camp next week, and I plan to have some fun. (It's coed for the first time.) I would also like
to improve my strokes (especially butterfly) as much as possible.
I thought that last nights dream was really excellent. I got up at 4:00AM because of a thunderstorm. (Noisey as
Hell) I went downstairs for a drink and when I was down there I noticed an unusual red sky along the horizon behind
our neighbors house. I called Henry (quietly of course) and we looked at it. Anyway, I went back upstairs to sleep.
When I got back into bed the electricity went out. I couldn't go back to sleep because it was too quiet. After
nearly 40 minutes I finally remembered that my tape recorder was
battery operated. I used an ear phone to listen to the music. Twenty minutes later (exactly one hour) the electricity
came back on. With that I fell asleep in no time.
Dream: The setting was this house at 7264 Hayes Blvd. (You know, where I am living) There were quite a few occurrences
that happened because there are blank spots that were not filled. The house in which I lived was very strange.
For instance the very first part took place in the basement. I was riding my bike. I could ride it all over, yet
I would always be in the basement. I mean I would ride through Canada, Europe or Mexico and yet if I would turn
around I would be about 10ft. away from the stairs. Anyway, the event that happened was that I was riding through
Italy and my tire blew out. I mean just my tire, my inner tube was just fine but about a foot of tire was in shreads.
There was a big blank spot now in my dream, but in the next scene I was being chased. I think that it was by Henry
and his friend Pat Tyrell. I ducked into my dad's bathroom (Upstairs off his bedroom). There was a little
kid where the shower usually is. Instead of it being a shower it was a line of toilets, like in a public rest room.
The kid was neither a girl or a boy. At times he acted as if he were a boy, and then as if she were a girl. She
acted as a girl and was physically a girl sitting on the toilet. (minus the male sex organ) It was funny how I
was also sitting on the toilet, but I could see her wipe her puss. Then he got up and used the urinal, washed his
hands and I spoke to him.* While all this was going on Henry and Pat were yelling at me. "I can see you."
they shouted. I didn't believe them for some reason. (Probably because they were outside yelling at me through
the wall.) I wasn't sure though. So I thought that if I grossed them out they would be sure to comment on it. So,
I took a wad of toilet paper and crammed it into my mouth and chewed on it. They kept yelling "I can see you.",
but it didn't really matter anymore. So I spoke to the little kid.* He said, "Do you want me to lock the door
on the way out?" I thought to myself. I didn't lock it on the
way in, so it must not be locked. Then I thought, "Why didn't they come in after me?" The kid asked me
again: "Do you want me to lock the door?" I was still thinking, so I said "sure" and he left.
I sat there, wiped my tail hole and left. I had overcome the fear. I don't know why, but I just left and walked
out. Nothing happened to me. In fact, I didn't even see Henry and Pat. I went downstairs and looked into the living
room.
Suddenly I was waiting in a Clerk of Course to swim at a swim meet. Scott and Perry Nucio were waiting in line
with me. (Swim teammates at Wickliffe) Scott was really complaining about how badly the meet was being run. I agreed
verbally, but I thought, "What could really be so bad about it?" I looked down were the couch would be
if this were still the living room. There was a white brick wall. Scott and Perry were horsing around, and I began
to join in a little. Then Perry said, "We should really clean up."
I was back in the living room again and I was staring at the couch again. This time I saw a red, white and blue
couch. Two girls were sitting on it. I recognized them as Sharon and Colleen from the disco-bowling. I watched
them, thinking that I had to talk to Sharon. Colleen said, "What did I tell you? He came."
My mom, who was sitting in the red rocking chair said, "Boy, those boys are rowdies." I looked up on
the wall again. Scott and Perry were pushing each other around. I looked at Sharon again and I finally got up my
guts and said "Ro, could you come here?" She didn't move. I picked up her hand and said, "Ro, can
I speak with you for a minute, privately ?" Suddenly when I stood up she yelled, "Mike!" I looked
at her and she was in her pink nightgown. I looked Colleen and she was in her blue nightgown. I looked around for
a piece of white paper and I found the back of a black one to be white. I sat down beside her on the floor by the
couch.I was in front of the patio door. I quietly handed her the piece of paper and asked her for her phone
number. She began to write down a lot of stuff including her address and directions to get there. Finally she wrote
two giant Bs like B.B.
Colleen said "What's that for?" I had no idea myself, but I found myself saying that's for us to know
and for you to find out. That's where the dream ends. I wish I knew what the BB meant. Maybe it's ESP or its not
really BB at all. Maybe its some strange signal from who knows where. Maybe its just something that I saw somewhere.
Somehow I want to believe in the mystic, but the another part of me says that logically it can't be so.
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