Finding the Path

Humour

Signs that you may be a TechnoPagan

If casting the circle changes an (int) to a (float) ...
If drawing down a circle is a POST (power on self test)...
If erecting the temple entails formatting more than 4 disks
If it is physically impossible to do the passing of cakes and ale.
If passing the cakes and ale entails using a /me command...
If the address of your covenstead begins with http://...
If you calculate the phases of the moon with Windows '95 .
If you call the Watch Towers on your cell-tell ...
If you do cord magick with ethernet ...
If you do most of your correspondence by email and sign off with Blessed Be ... or B*B...
If you don't call it a ritual, you call it a Macro ...
If you draw down the moon using a light-pen ...
If you end a circle with Ctl-Alt-Del ...
If you have ever attached ribbons to a May Pole using a staple gun...
If you invite the God and Goddess to come online ...
If you keep a Disk of Shadows (with encrypted backups)...
If you participate in online rituals more than you do FTF...
If you refer to deities using 3-letter acronyms (ODN, LKI, THR)...
If you refer to eclectic ritual as cross-platforming...
If you refer to solitary practice as a stand alone ...
If you ritually down your server for Samhain ...
If you tap into the collective unconscious using Netscape
If your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group ...
If your Book of Shadows has a 6-digit version number...
If your OBE's begin with a netsplit ...
If your Star Trek screen-saver signals when your meditation period is over ...
If your Yule ritual involves defragmentation ...
If your altar cloth is a mouse pad ...
If your altar has a keyboard ...
If your athame has a SCSI interface ...
If your candles have batteries ...
If your cauldron is a crock-pot ...
If your chimes are electronic ...
If your circle is a token ring ...
If your cone of power has a surge suppressor ...
If your tarot cards multi-task
If your crystal ball has a horizontal-hold control ...
If your daemons collect news for you ...
If your deities include Murphy and Gates ...
If your drumming is done on a CD player (pre-recorded)...
If you require a sound card to listen to your coven's music.
If your familiar is a computer mouse ...
If your herbs are always mail-ordered (express, overnight)
If your idea of a great retreat has a Computer City, electricity, and a TV nearby ...
If your incense is by Glade ...
If your magic wand is a light pen ...
If your magical name, email address, and online name are all the same...
If your magical writing is done in binary code or C++...
If you do a full moon ritual to a jpeg on your screen...
If your image of the goddess has a name which ends with .jpg or .gif.
If your patron deity has a homepage ...
If your pentacle is made of computer chips ...
If your ritual robes conceal a pocket protector ...
If your search for truth involves regular expressions...
If your technician compains about the wax and incense ash on your motherboard...
If, instead of asking what tradition someone comes from, you ask what operating system they run ...
If the length of your coven's rituals vary from person to person depending on the baud of their modem.
If your covenstead is a BBS, MOO, MUD, MUCK, MUSH, or IRC channel.
If you only recognize your coveners by a handle.
If you measured the size of your covenstead, and had to measure it in bytes.
If the directions to your covenstead begin with the phrase "telnet to..."
If your covenstead exists in the basement of a university computer center.
If your coven is spread over a 12,000 sq. mi. area
If there are oceans between you and the other members of your coven.
If you get a headache from reading what your High Priestess says.
If your coven can't practice when the power goes out.
If when trying to read your covens book of shadows, you have to connect to an ftp site.
If when communicating with other members of your coven, you must type in an email address.
If you ever haven't been able to "run" a ritual because you don't have
enough memory.

And finally, if, when your quarter candles burn out, the UPS backup system kicks in ...

Well, you just might be a TechnoPagan!