THINGS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

This came from a GUY (offcourse)My teaths were clunching while I wrote this down *s*

It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet UP when you are done.

If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.

Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.

Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt.

Shopping is not fascinating.

When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking. Unless the answer is yes. In which case, can he videotape it?

If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.

The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.

Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.

Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.

Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.

**Not meant to offend ANYBODY at all.. I'm sorry if it does**