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Marduk Speaks on the Problem of Literacy


	
They think they are superior just because they can read!

My followers have to deal with the desert conditions and other nomadic
tribes, they aren't appreciated by those city-dwellers!

I heard one of their hymns the other day, and had it translated
back to Sanskrit so we could understand it:

"Our god's better than Marduck,
 Our god's better than yours,
 Our god's better than Marduck,
 'cause some Goyem taught us to read!"

I knew about another tribe, a long time ago, where some uppity tribe
taught all the guys to read. They kept mostly to themselves, though,
and since the Egyptian and Babylonian governments wouldn't let them
have bows and arrows, or chariots and that other high-tech stuff,
they were not much trouble.

Then, some time ago, some of them decided to teach commoners to read.
I warned them that this could lead to the end of civilization as we know
it, harems would close down, women could get the right to vote...
There was a similar problem when  they closed down the temple prostitutes
during Roman times. But back then, the problem of literacy was under
control,
only the rich, or the temple priests were taught to read, and they could
be controlled with no problems.

Now some of the uppity city-dwellers want sex education and women's rights
taught to the Bedouin! Don't worry, though, I have my agents operating in
North America making shure that the votes aren't all counted, and that
literacy won't get out of hand again. (You woudn't believe how expensive
that Cheney fellow was. I think we had to give him 27 million and a free
bypass to get his cooperation.)

Also, I know it will not be popular to restart Marduk worship in some areas,
so I have an agreement with the Crisco(C) company. The new religious
ceremonies use their products and they send me a cut for sugesting the idea.
I told them that if enough people learn to read their "contents" part of
the label on Crisco(C), their sales would plummet. (It is only good
for pouring on your head, or something barbarian like that. No olive
oil in the stuff, just denatured lard.)

Also, no pianos can be played during the Crisco(C)-Marduk ceremony,
because people might dance during the proceedings.

My operation in Saudi Arabia is working OK, but we only have that one
attraction, the seven inch long meteorite. We are thinking of hiring
Disney to build a bigger theme park, to keep up with the times.

Praise Marduk(R), and pass the Crisco(C)

[transcibed and channeled by Capt. Nemo and the Higher Faculties(M)]





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