Email vs. Sex

by
Erik Oosterwal


REASONS WHY E-MAIL LISTS ARE BETTER THAN SEX:

  1. You can do it at work.
  2. You can do it in a computer lab filled with people.
  3. You won't get interrupted in the middle by a phone call.
  4. List members don't mind if you read a book at the same time.
  5. You can stop in the middle for a snack.
  6. You can do it non-stop for over 14 hours.
  7. If one list member has a headache, there's always another without one.
  8. List members don't mind if you close your eyes and pretend you're on a different list.
  9. List members aren't offended if you have to log-off early.
  10. No messy cleanup.
  11. No holding afterwards.
  12. List members don't mind if you add a few pounds.
  13. You can imagine that the other person looks like Cindy Crawford / Adrian Paul.
  14. You won't get arrested for doing it with a minor.
  15. You don't have to worry about the kids barging in.


REASONS WHY SEX IS BETTER THAN E-MAIL LISTS:

  1. You can do it at work.
  2. You can do it in a computer lab filled with people.
  3. You can do it even when there's a power outage.
  4. You don't have to pay monthly ISP bills.
  5. You don't have to wait long hours to download a nudie.
  6. Aerobic exercise.
  7. Your partner doesn't complain about you spending too much time on that damn computer.
  8. You don't have to load a security patch to your software - although you should use a security patch on your hardware.
  9. You won't get unsubbed for starting flames (on candles).
  10. Your hard disk doesn't get filled up with messages you want to check out in more detail later.
  11. Sex won't take up 14 hours of your day with nothing to show for it.
  12. You feel fulfilled after sex.
  13. You can imagine that the other person looks like Cindy Crawford / Adrian Paul.
  14. You don't need expensive equipment (though it adds to the fun).
  15. You don't need batteries (most of the time).

Copyright Erik Oosterwal - 1999 - 2004
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