BY THE BOOK
By Colleen Forbush
Traveling for long periods of time while pregnant can be a little tricky. I was going to be gone for 2 months, so my doctor in Germany said that he would only let me go if I would go to a doctor while I was in the U.S. So a friend of mine made an appointment with her doctor for me, and off I went.
This being my second pregnancy, I thought I knew what to expect at the doctor’s office. But I was wrong.
I arrive for my appointment, the nurse calls my name, and I go in. The nurse starts out very friendly, asking me what Germany is like and all of that stuff, and then she asks me for my cup. "What cup?" "The one we give all of our patients, and they bring back with them each visit." "But I’m a new patient; here on a one time visit." "Well, I don’t understand why you don’t have your cup. I guess I’ll have to find one." I hated "putting her out" like that, but I was a little confused as to how a new patient was to have this information prior to the visit. The nurse came back with a Dixi cup. "This isn’t standard , but it will have to do since you did not bring YOUR cup." I wanted to explain again about being a new patient, but decided to give it up.
Now the doctor comes in. He’s all excited because he still remembers his German well enough after 20 years to read my records. "I see that you’re not taking any prenatal vitamins." "That’s because in Germany they only give you vitamins if you have a poor diet." "Yes, but research shows pregnant women need folic acid. It’s found to help in the mental development of the baby. Haven’t you heard of this?" "Yes, but the Germans still believe that if you have a good diet that the vitamins are not necessary." "Well, I don’t agree. It’s not good medical practice." Okay, but what am I suppose to do about it? Go back to my German doctor and tell him that this American doctor thinks that he should be prescribing vitamins, and then listen to a lecture from him on how I don’t really need these if I eat right? "But I’ll tell you what I will do. I’ll give you this prescription for constipation since you are traveling over seas." "But I made this trip several times pregnant and never had a problem; I don’t think it’s necessary." "Nonsense. All pregnant women have this problem." "I don’t." "How long have you been in The States?" "About a month." "And you have no trouble?" "No." "Well, don’t worry you will." As if this were something I would worry about.
So the long and short of the whole thing was that the doctor scared me half out of my wits about having a mentally deficient baby , yelled at me for not taking my vitamins, and then gave me a prescription for constipation. And then to top it all off, the doctor says that he will not let me return to Germany unless I come to see him again before I go. So I had to make another appointment for 10 days later.
Ten days later I go back to the doctor. The nurse calls my name; I go in. This time I have a different nurse. "Your cup, please." "I don’t have one." "Why not? You’re not a new patient." "Yes, I know, but no one gave me one last time." "Then we’re not going to analyze your urine since you did not bring your cup. I see that you were here just 10 days ago. Are you having complications?" "No, you see…" "If you are not having complications, then why are you here?" "Because the doctor won’t let me fly back to Germany until I see him." "But you’re not having complications!" "I know." "Your just wasting our valuable time." At this point I just give up and shrug my shoulders. What else could I do?
After the nurse weighs me, the doctor comes in and tells me that I am one pound over weight. Then he asks me why my doctor has been taking my blood every visit. "He likes to test my iron and sugar. It’s the way things are done over there." "Well, it’s not necessary." By this time I am thoroughly convinced that I am in the Twilight Zone for temporary patient care.
But I did get a "clean bill of health" so that I could fly back to Germany. And once home and back into my regular routine, I lost 4 pounds which I figure should make one of the doctors just a little bit happier.
Colleen ForbushCopyright 1999
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