inner strength's January Ruminations
January 2000 January 2001
For the most part, this year has gotten off to the best year of my life. I have several lucrative contract job opportunities. Being a Capricorn, the prospect of making enough money to "thrive" and not merely "survive" invigorates me. I feel young again!
On a personal level, I am cleansed in that area too. The friends I lost last year really weren't the type of people I want to be with now anyway. What we had several years ago no longer is emotionally satisfying for either of us. However sad that sounds, most of them and I parted amicably. I sent an apology to one I was hurt by the most. No response--which is ok with me. I wrote the apology for my "self" and doing so relieved the guilt I felt. New friends are coming my way which is nice. Knowing there are people out there who continue to care and my abilities/resourcefulness to make new friends is truly a blessing.
I find I am more relaxed and do not frustrate easily anymore. I hope this holds true for at least the remainder of the year, if not for the remainder of my life. It is true what people say, "Don't sweat the small stuff. It is all small stuff."
January 2001
copyright 2000 by inner_strength.geo
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January 2000
The new millennium year came in with a whimper instead of a bang which is great relief for me. It was like a spiritual cleansing of sorts. For as long as I can remember, I thought of this moment. Becoming the age of 50 also this month marked a major milestone in my chronological life. Many miles traveled and the journey is half way finished--or maybe three-quarters--or maybe almost totally finished. Becoming this age, particularly at the dawn of a new millennium, was a very stressful, yet humbling experience.
This year seems emotionally calmer than the end of last year and I am slowly acclimating to the mountain culture. The cold never gets any easier and we experienced over a foot of snow in sub zero degree temps for a week. Funny how much we take for granted when it appears gone. Simple things such as grass. Today, the 13th, I saw grass for the first time this month. The sun shining brightly did wonders for the soul also. I have been resting comfortably today for the first time in months. Maybe I will stay here longer than Spring. Maybe not. I am learning to live with myself as an every day challenge. The challenge is getting easier each day, though. I am a survivor. I will survive within myself. I will remain true to my beliefs. The sun will shine for me no matter what. That I promise.
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