When Gwion, Cerridwen's servant, became wise, it was a simple thing. He just put his finger in the cauldron he was stirring and tasted it. Wham-o! All of a sudden he was wise. It was accepting the changes that wisdom brought to his life that Gwion fought with. He did not want to face Cerridwen's wrath when she discovered that her brew, a special concoction for her son that took over a year to prepare, had been eaten by Gwion. Although Gwion left plenty of the brew in the cauldron, he took all of the wisdom out of it with his little taste. This meant that only the useless dregs were left for Cerridwen's son, and that her plans were ruined. To avoid Cerridwen's wrath, Gwion fled by changing his appearance. He shifted into the shapes of many animals, and Cerridwen followed him, shifting shape as she chased him. It was only when Gwoin shifted in to the shape of a hard-to-find but helpless grain that Cerridwen caught him. She could see past the outer apearance and ate him. Taking him into her, she also set him free of his old life by giving birth to him. When he finally accepted hs new life,he became the great bard Taliesin.

For most of us, life is like this. Initial change may be easy, but it is the consequences that we dread. Even when a change is a good one or a happy one, we sometimes hesitate because of the consequences that a change will bring to our livves.

A new job or a new relationship may be a wonderul thing, but it may also mean less time for good friends. Coming out of a closet (broom, or otherwise) is painful, but for many a necessary part of being who and what they are. Like Taliesin, we may try many guises to cope with the stress of wanting both the old and the new.

When Gwion changed by becoming wise, he did not try to undo the change by becoming unwise. He tried to find ways to be the same old Gwion and be wise at the same time. He shifted from shape to shape in an effort to remain Gwion. We do this as well. Whena change comes into our lves we sometimes tel ourselves, "I'll still find time for all the old commitments too."

We try to put everything together-this is the first shape shift. Then we try to negotiate between the parts of our lives that don't mesh well, which is the second shape shift. Then perhaps we try to keep separate parts of our lives separate-the third shift-and so on. This is the painful part of change. Even when the change is a good one, it may lead to the realization that another partof one's life is not working anymore. This can mean changing in ways that we would rather not, like giving up bad habits that, while comforting us, also harm us.

The trick is to change anyway-to accept the growing pains for what they are-a necessary part of becoming the person we want to love, the person we want to be. While most people don't want to cause unnecessary pain, sometimes we use that as an excuse for not causing growing pains. We can grow in a caring way. We can grow in ways that ensure that we harm none. We may not be able to grow in ways that prevent others from harming themselves. We can try to help them cope, we can offer them love and understanding, but ultimately we must accept our own changes, and allow ourselves to grow.

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