I was going 140 on life's highway. Everyone knows that's way over the limit. Unfortunately, most of those around me was speeding in the right lane too, barely noticing those breezing on the left.

As with cars, the faster I was going, the quicker my fuel got burnt. But this was not the tragic part. The deeper I pushed the pedal, the less I could hear God's voice calling me to "Stop!". As weeks of hard work turned to months, then a year, I realized one day that I needed to get out. Away. It was as if God hit the brakes on my behalf so that I could make out His voice above the din I had created.

Enough with the parables and comparisons to cars! Time for some straight talk.

I needed to get away from everything, and everyone. Yes, everyone that could remind me of the pace I was used to. I created some spectacular 'white noise' in my life. You know, that kind of noise that covers up how noisy it actually is? I was so very busy with the tasks of the Lord that I didn't realize I was actually drifting away from what really mattered. Between Bible School (that's a good thing, isn't it?), Praise & Worship singing (using my talents there!), cell church (fellowship is so important in today's life) and the church's drama group (those talents again!) I was sucked into a whirlpool. When God pushed that brake pedal down, I nearly hit the screen. This was no joke.

So I got into a car and went somewhere I've never been.

They call this little coastal town (more like a village), Jongensfontein. Directly translated this could mean "Fountain of young men/women/people". Didn't see anyone young, neither could I find the fountain. But it was beautiful. No matter where you stay in Jongensfontein, you will be close to the ocean.

When I arrived in Jongensfontein, I walked down to the shore and sat on a wooden bench. I said, "Okay, Lord, here I am. On time for our appointment." And I waited and waited for the booming voice to come rushing at me across the crashing waves. Nothing. I waited some more, really concentrating on 'clearing my thoughts'. Still nothing. I realized that God's timing was best and that I should probably get all the rush out of my system so that I won't be distracted by thoughts of work and what I briefly left behind.

The next day I thought I should try again. I knew I had only two full days there, but I know that God knew that too. He saw to it that I got the rest I needed before sitting me down for a chat. I was sitting on another bench next to "Flip se Baai" (Flip's Bay) when I realized I had to give everything, verbally, to the Lord. Every aspect of my life I had to give into His hands. My work, my play, my rest. I had the picture in my head as if God's Hand was like a bank (a high-interesting-earning one). I had to give it over to Him before it could grow. As long as I clung to it, it would stay humanly small. And right there, with waves crashing almost against my feet, I gave everything over to Him. It was the evening before I had to leave when I first started to feel how the knots in my stomach was becoming undone.

God knew that I was trying to rush my rest as well. And that was not the point. His time and His will I had to accept while waiting for the peace of mind and rest that would follow.

The work load did not magically disappear. Relationships did not turn into moonshine and roses overnight. But everything came back into perspective. Why I was doing what I was doing. Why I had certain people in my life and what my responsibility was towards them.

On Monday evening I read the following:

"I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.

I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.

They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.

Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.

As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.

And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified by the truth."

(John 17: 14 - 19).

I turned back and read:

"As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.

If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.

These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your love may be full.

This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.

You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. " (John 15: 9 - 14)

Riëtte (1998-10-17)

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