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by Nissa Annakindt
The Daggett Demagogue
Daggett, MI
Hear anything about the New Jersey town that outlawed cursing in public? Now, whether you are for or against the right of freedom of speech, this cursing ban brings up a very interesting problem. Sooner or later, those enforcing the ban are going to run up against a little problem--- one which it will take a borough council meeting to straighten out. What constitutes cursing? Which words are banned? And how can the people of Raritan, New Jersey even come to an agreement on how to apply their cursing ban? They can't just sit around and make a list of banned words. They'll get arrested for cursing!
Now, I suppose most people will agree that (essword) and (effword) are curse words. But what if the cursers of Raritan just switch from (essword) to (c-word)? What if they, like Harry Truman, can be persuaded to use (m-word) instead of (essword)? Are those words going to be illegal? They certainly offend prudes just as much as (essword), particularly when they are clearly being used as substitutes for (essword). And what about those who switch from good old Anglo-Saxon words to the more socially acceptable Latinate substitutes? What if people start going around saying (excr-m-nt) or (b-w-l m-v-m-nt) whenever they'd normally say (essword) or (c-word)? Anyone want to claim that won't be considered obscene after awhile? Before long, people will be asked by their doctors to give poo-poo samples instead of (st--l) samples!
And what about saying (effword)? If people start saying, 'Aw, (s-x--l int-rc--rs-) instead, that will have to be banned, naturally. If they switch to euphemisms like (m-k- l-v-) or (d--ng th- w-ld th-ng), we've got them there, too. But if people aren't permitted to mention the concept of (s-x), how are they going to get any? Well, the cursing ban may make the human race go extinct, but at least we'll go with a clean mouth.
Every kid knows that if you drop a hot iron on your foot and yell (d-word) it to (h-word), you are cursing. If you don't put (d-word) and (h-word) on the banned list, it won't be a real cursing ban. But what about the theological use of those words? What if ministers start hanging around streetcorners arguing whether (h-word) is real, or whether all unbelievers will be (d-word)ed? You'll have to arrest them! Of course, many on the Religious Right don't consider sentences like 'You're going to (h-word)' or 'All Catholics will be (d-word)ed for idolatry' to be an offensive use of the words. It's not like they're cussing at some poor innocent steam-iron, after all. But if you want to ban cursing, you can afford to leave any loopholes.
What about minced oaths? My seventh grade teacher a Christian Reformed parochial school was very clear on that point. Saying (h-ck) or (d-rn) is every bit as bad as saying (h-word) or (d-word). Two more words for the list!
And what about the heart of American cursing, taking the name of the (L-rd) in vain? People say (J-s-s Chr-st) or oh, (G-d) all the time! We'll have to stop that. Of course, we can't let those nasty cursers get away with claiming, when they take the name of the (L-rd) in vain, that they're really just praying. And of course, don't forget to ban the related minced oaths, like (g-sh) or (g-lly) or (j--z). Of course, out of fairness to the (Chr-st)ians who can no longer talk about their religion in public, we'll have to ban all religious words which might be misused, such as (Kr-shn-) and (All-h).
Of course, the people who instituted the ban won't go that far. They're not all that concerned about cursing at heart, after all, people cursed all the time when the senior citizens of Raritan were young, too. What they really want to stop is teens and young adults cursing, and listening to music that senior citizens don't like, and wearing clothes that weren't in style when senior citizens were young. And so, in small towns when seniors are in a majority, you have bans on cursing, campaigns against 'Satanic' modern music, and anti-gang expects who claim any article of clothing an under-30-year-old will voluntarily wear is gang-related. You have cops who respond to teens playing loud rock but not seniors playing loud polkas. You have people claiming the world is coming to an end because a group of teens stand on a sidewalk talking to their friends and don't move out of the way of a senior citizen until they actually see that senior citizen!
The cursing ban in Raritan may well stop some cursing in Raritan. Teens and young adults who might have stayed in town and contributed their talents to the community will find the puritanical atmosphere too oppressive and leave. But cursing will live on forever, even if there were some way to magically prevent people from using 'those words'. It's a natural instinct for people to use some form of strong language to express strong feelings, and it's equally naturally that people who are incapable of strong feelings and think 'not very nice' is the strongest expression anyone needs to use will be offended. While it may enrich the English language to have people running around saying, oh, effword! as well as the more traditional oh, (effword), it ain't gonna change human nature any as far as I can see.
© Nissa Annakindt 1995
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