ALL THE REST —  May 23
  

 

Today's Quotations – More — INSULTS:

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.

–   John Updike



Democracy is a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.

– H. L. Mencken, Amnerican journalist



A flea can be taught everything a congressman can.

– Mark Twain



The only thing that will be remembered about my enemies after they're dead is the nasty things I've said about them.

–  Camille Paglia



Marriage makes an end of many short follies -- being one long stupidity.

–  Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher


 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – COMMISERATE
   

 


com·mis·er·ate verb commiserated, com·mis·er·at·ing, com·mis·er·ates. 1. To feel or express sorrow or pity for; sympathize with. --intr. To feel or express sympathy: commiserated over their failure.

Change places with him, and would you have been looked at by those blue eyes as he was, and commiserated  by that agitated face as he was? Come on, and have it out in plain words! You  hate the fellow!"

A TALE OF TWO CITIES
CHARLES DICKENS

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

May is frog Month on the Daily Miscellany - I hope you enjoy these facts about amphibians. God is a marvelous architect and his sense of humor and creativity is expressed in these interesting creations.

This week a special treat is available for you here on the Daily Miscellany:

First I want to introduce you to a very special site to visit. If you use OE5 or higher as your E-mail program you are probably familiar with 'stationery' as a fun way to send email messages. It is a good way to brighten one's day, and celebrate special
occasions. One of the best places to find OE (Outlook Express) stationery is Stationery Heaven. I hope you will visit their site today.

The next treat is an e-mail OE5 stationery from Stationery Heaven. It is entitled Frog Singing, it is an animated no-scrolling stationary with sound file. You'll enjoy it. You can download it from here on the DM. Just remember to unzip it to: C:\Program Files\Common Files\Microsoft Shared\Stationery

Stationery: Frog Singing

Find more great stationery at: Stationery Heaven.

 

firebg.jpg (2091 bytes)

Amphibians and FROGS

    
frogs.wmf (17124 bytes) winkingfrog.gif (11560 bytes)
Frog

Frogs and people

It seems that we humans have been intrigued by frogs for a very long time. Frogs have long been the focus of superstitions and religions in many areas of the world. In ancient Egypt the frog was a symbol of female fertility. Egyptian women wore gold amulets with the image of frogs to attract favors of fruitfulness. Four of the great Egyptian gods that were responsible for the creation of the world bore the heads of frogs. In the Temple of Thebes, embalmed frogs were laid to rest beside human mummies. The plague of frogs that God brought against Egypt was an embarrassment to the Egyptian people and their gods.

Many cultures associate frogs with weather. In Sanskrit, the word for 'frog' also means 'cloud.' In this culture frogs were said to personify thunder in the sky. Native Americans and Australian aborigines regarded the croaking of frogs as a portent of rain.

In Japan the frog is a sign of good luck. Bullfrogs are the descendants of a mighty forebear who could suck all the mosquitoes out of a room in a single breath. Other frog legends of the Orient suggest that a warty toad is actually an ugly old man or wise guru. The Chinese regard the toad as one of the five poisons or negative forces of yin. They see a toad in the moon instead of a man. When the moon toad attempts to swallow the moon itself, the result is an eclipse.


Sources for the Amphibian - Frog series include:

Encyclopedia of Reptiles and Amphibians - Editors: Dr. Harold G. Cogger, Dr. Richard G,.Zweifel, Academid Press
Frogs - Text: David Badger, Photography: JohnNetherton; Voyageur Press

Groliers Encyclopedia
Microsoft(R) Encarta(R)
Encyclopedia Britanica

 

Let every created thing give praise to the Lord,
for he issued his command, and they came into being.
Psalm 148:5 (NLT)

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

 
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   

 

smile10.gif (11018 bytes) Things Learned From KIDS:

The Home Physics Laboratory

Frogs can survive the washing machine but don't do well in the dryer. Frog bits will never come out of dried clothes. Throw them away before they stink up the whole house.

Ditto snakes.

Mascara on cat whiskers makes really cool wavey lines on anything onto which he tries to rub it off. They do not come off of paint.

Boys can jump off a two story high roof and break nothing but mom will be on tranquilizers for at least a week.

If you stick a lighter into the sprinkler head in the bathroom, the sprinklers will go off in the entire loft. It takes 5 minutes to raise the level of water to the point where the downstairs neighbor is also getting flooded.

Long-haired dogs hate Epilady.

David in Sunnyvale, California VIA – H u m o u r N e t


And God Created

It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls.


And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me.

Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."

And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam.

And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved.

And Cat did not care one way or the other. 


More Hymns,
the way we'd sing them if we were honest:

  • I Surrender Some

  • There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings

  • Fill My Spoon, Lord

  • Oh, How I Like Jesus

  • He's Quite a Bit to Me

  • I Love to Talk About Telling the Story

  • Take My Life and Let Me Be

  • It is My Secret What God Can Do

  • There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today

  • Onward, Christian Reserves

  • Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following

  • Just As I Pretend to Be

  • When the Saints Go Sneaking In

Source:"ECULAUGH"

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 


Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

 

 


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Have A Great Day !

Phillip Bower

 

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Soul Food May 23

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.