ALL THE REST —  November 16
  

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Sunday School Lesson

Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie - talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!".

ALL SMILES TODAY From : A Time to Smile zphhumor@info.harpercollins.com

 

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Praying to Loose Weight

A Christian man who was overweight decided to go on a diet. One of his main problems with eating was that he would stop for donuts every morning on the way to work. So he decided to make things easier for himself -- he would change his route to work to avoid the temptation of stopping. As the weeks went by he started losing a lot of weight and was receiving compliments from his friends and co-workers.

Then one morning without thinking, he accidentally turned onto the road which would take him by the donut shop. At first he was going to turn around but then he thought to himself, "maybe the Lord is rewarding me for my efforts". So, in thinking this he said a short prayer telling the Lord that if this was his true intention, let there be an open parking place directly in front of the shop. And sure enough, on the fifth time around the block there was an open spot right up front.

ALL SMILES TODAY From : A Time to Smile zphhumor@info.harpercollins.com  

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I Like It

A reader sent a letter to a South Carolina newspaper expressing her approval of daylight savings time. "I have planted a vegetable garden for many years," she wrote, "and I find that it does much better with that extra hour of sunlight every day!"

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An employee newsletter ran this announcement:

"CPR (Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation) classes will be conducted next week for personnel wishing certification. Attendance is required for those who have expired or are about to expire."

 

 

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At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five-dollar cars that get 1000 miles to the gallon."

Recently General Motors addressed this comment by responding, "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" And . . .

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

2. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart, and drive on.

3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to fail, and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University