ALL THE REST —  November 21
  

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In Heaven

A math teacher and a pastor went to heaven the same day. St. Peter met them at the gate and welcomed them profusely. To the math teacher, he said, "Let me show you to your new home." They went to a large house with beautiful rooms, fine furniture and the latest electronic toys.

Then he took the pastor to his one room, a monastic cell. The pastor complained, "I don't understand! All my adult life I have served God and this is the thanks I get! What did the math teacher do to deserve such treatment?"

St. Peter replied, "Whenever you preached, some people in the congregation always went to sleep. Whenever the math teacher taught, everyone in his class would begin to pray." .

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Pay For It

A certain wealthy man had never cared much for spiritual matters in his life. However, during his final illness, he did begin to consider eternal affairs. Unfortunately, he brought the same approach to them he had used in much of his business. He sent for the pastor and told him, "Pastor, you've been here a long time. You know I've never cared much for church matters. But I'm very sick, about to die, and I want to be sure of my eternal destination. Do you suppose if I gave $1,000,000 to the church, and $100,000 to you personally, I would go to heaven?

The pastor considered carefully for a moment, the replied, "Well, I can't be too sure, but what have you got to lose? It's worth a try!"

 

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Take It

 

The roof of the small Quaker meeting room was badly damaged and the members could not raise the necessary funds. The owner of the local tavern came to the leaders and said, "I do not belong to your congregation and you know what I do for a living. But I respect your faithfulness and appreciated the stability you bring to our town. Therefore I would like to give $5,000 to repair your roof."

The leaders discussed and worried whether they could accept the gift since it came from profits of selling liquor. Finally they went to the oldest member, a 95 year old.

She sat rocking and listening to their problem. At last she replied, " But of course thou takest the money. The devil has had it long enough."

 

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No Money For Food

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?", he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food.", The poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then."

"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"

"Bring them along! And you, come with too!", he said to the other man.

"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" The second man answered.

"Bring them as well!"

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The rich man replied "No, you don't understand, the grass at my home is about two metres tall!"   

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University