THE REST –    December 11
  

TODAY'S QUESTION

The names of Santa Claus's eight reindeer are from what famous 1823 poem by Clement Moore?  

Previous Question and Answer: 

Question:  Las Posadas, a Christmas tradition in San Antonio, Texas, celebrates what event?

Answer: Mary and Joseph's search for an inn (see Luke 2:7); posada is Spanish for "inn."  
 
 

Questions and answers from: J. Stephen Lang, The Big Book of American Trivia (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1997).

Merry Christmas

Christmas Quotation, Fact and Inspiration.

This One has been around several times, but I still get a chuckel from it each time I hear it.

A hip young man goes out and buys a 1998 Ferrari GTO .   It is the best and most expensive car available in the world, costing about $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks,

"What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"

The young man replies, "A 1997 Ferrari GTO. They cost about a half million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man, shocked.  "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure," replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"

Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do.   He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view  mirror.  It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see what it  could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going  much faster!  "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?!"   the young man asks himself.

Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot cooming  toward him. Whoooooosh!  It goes by again, heading the opposite  direction!  And it almost  looked like the old man on the moped!

"Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Ferrari?!" Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh Ka-BbblaMMM!

It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and it IS the old man!!!  Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain.   He runs up to the dying old man and says, "You're badly hurt!  Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man moans and replies, "Yes,  Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"

TAKING MONEY

"If you get caught taking money out of a purse of somebody who isn't your mother, you go to jail," said a reflective first-grader.

"And if the purse belongs to your mother?" I ventured.

"Then you're in real trouble.

Kids Are Still Saying the Darndest Things by Dandi Daley Mackall

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines , surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.

I brought my selection  -  a baseball bat - to  the cash register.   "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked.

"Cash,"  I snapped.  Then apologizing for my rudeness , I explained , "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle  bureau."

"Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"!

A first-grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each student in her class the first half of a proverb and had them complete it. (some of these I've presented here before)

• As you shall make your bed, so shall you . . . "mess it up."
  

• Better be safe than . . . "punch a fifth-grader."
  

• Strike while the . . . "bug is close."
  

• It's always darkest before . . . "Daylight Savings Time."
  

• Never underestimate the power of . . . "termites."
  

• You can lead a horse to water but . . . "how?"
  

• Don't bite the hand that . . . "looks dirty."
  

• No news is . . . "impossible."
  

• A miss is as good as a . . . "Mr."
  

• You can't teach an old dog new . . . "math."
  

• If you lie down with the dogs, you'll . . . "stink in the morning."
  

• Love all, trust . . . "me."
  

• The pen is mightier than the . . . "pigs."
  

• An idle mind is . . . "the best way to relax."
  

• Where there's smoke, there's . . . "pollution."
  

• Happy the bride who . . . "gets all the presents."
  

• A penny saved is . . . "not much."
  

• Two's company, three's . . . "the Musketeers."
  

• Don't put off tomorrow what . . . "you put on to go to bed."
  

• Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and . . . "you have to
  blow your nose."
  

• Children should be seen and not . . . "spanked or grounded."
  

• If at first you don't succeed . . . "get new batteries."
  

• You get out of something what you . . . "see pictured on the box."
  

• When the blind leadeth the blind . . . "get out of the way!"
  

• There is no fool like . . . "Aunt Edith." court.

From: Best of: Humor Mailing List

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A road was closed to repair a collapsed sewer-pipe.  The actual road closure was not apparent until a person drove around a bend, so drivers would go around the closure sign to see if the road was really impassable.  Once they went around the bend, they'd have to turn around in the narrow road.  Their embarrassment was made worse by the back of the "ROAD CLOSED" sign, which read: "TOLD YOU SO!"

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One night, the doorbell rang at Joe's house.  He answered it to find a 6-foot cockroach.  The cockroach threw Joe across the room and left.

The next night, the doorbell rang.  It was the 6-foot cockroach again.  It punched Joe in the stomach and walked away.

The next night Joe slowly opened the door after the doorbell rang again and saw the giant roach.  It kicked and elbowed him.

The following night, the 6-foot roach came back again.  This time he just plain beat Joe up, left him in a heap, and walked away.

The next day, Joe went to the doctor.  "What can I do, Doc?", he asked.

The doctor replied, "There's nothing you can do.  There's just a nasty bug going around."

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