Selected Essays And Book Reviews

COUN 601 - Marriage and Family Counseling

Lesson 13. Important Definitions {958 words}

1. Discuss some important definitions.

Black Box Metaphor is the idea that the mind is so complex, that it is better to study individuals input and output than to speculate about what goes on in the mind. Counselors focused on what people were saying and doing and deemphasized what was going on on the inside.

Differentiation of Self is the ability to distinguish between thoughts and feelings and to choose between being guided by one's intellect or one's emotions. On an interpersonal level, it is the ability to experience both intimacy and independence from others. This is the ability to step away from the family with the hope of returning to a more connected state.

Expressive Role is serving the social and emotional functions of the family. This has traditionally been the wife's function, as she was always the emotional and social caregiver.

Instrumental Role are the decision making and task functions of the family, traditionally the husband's role and associated with being the bread winner.

Family Life Cycle are the stages of family life from separation from one's parents, marriage, having children, growing older, retirement, and death. Stress can occur just from moving from one cycle to the next. The six stages are: (1) leaving parents, (2) getting married, (3) having children, (4) having adolescents, (5) kids start moving out, and (6) growing older.

First Order Change is a superficial change in the family system which stays invariant. This is not really change, but it looks like change. In the "Family Crucible", the Brice family showed a lot of early progress, but it did not last.

Second Order Change is a basic change in the structure and functioning of the system. When Carolyn Brice started differentiating, this was real change. Another was when David confronted his father.

Functionalism is the idea that symptoms serve a function of the family. The identified patient is the individual on whom the family members focus or over whom they fight, to avoid dealing with one another. Some critics say that functionalism is used politically to advance a conservative agenda (someone says that abortion has an affect on the family and individual).

Control and Power are terms used by Jay Haley while at the Mental Research Institute (MRI). He believed that communication was motivated by desires to control. He maintained a functionalist view, and his followers searched for the function of the system. He later added love, not power as the motivator. He initially thought that one had to have control and power to be motivated. Later, he added love and became a semi-functionalist.

Differentiation of self (Bowen) - Bowen believed that differentiation is a relatively fixed trait that takes time to change. He feels that only about 10% of the population is well differentiated. He thought that microevolution played a role in the differentiation process. He thought that a kid's problem was really the parent's problem being lived out through the kid.

Multigenerational Patterns - Bowen's idea that families evolve over many generations and that evolution can explain why many families have their family knots. He used genograms to see what had been passed on in families.

Triangulation is the process by which two family members argue and one of the antagonists pulls in a third party (who may or may not be a family member but who will have some relation to the system) to fight against each other. This can occur in the counseling setting with the therapist.

Enmeshment is becoming or being too emotion and cognitively connected to a family. It is difficult for enmeshed family to understand individualism, but enmeshment is not always bad.

Disengaged is becoming or being emotionally and cognitively distant. A radical sense of separateness without a sense of community. This means that there is not a sense of "we", but everything is "I". Disengaged is just as bad as enmeshment.

Looking Glass Self is looking into mirrors/others to assess self-worth and to understand self.

Reflected Appraisal is when one assesses self worth and understanding due to the way other people treat them.

Absurdity are statements that are half truths and silly if followed to conclusion. Whittaker and other experiential therapists use this technique when working with families. Whittaker said why not just be a good alcoholic so that people will really take good care of him. He was only half serious.

Alignments are ways that family members join together to oppose one another in family activities. Counselors try to find out who is aligned in the family.

Awareness Exercises are structured experiences used in experiential therapy, that are aimed at increasing self-awareness.

Binuclear Family are interrelated family households that comprise one family system. An example can be a remarried family.

Centrifugal is literally "directed away from." This describes how people move away from their family and disengage. It is normal for families under stress to disengage.

Centripetal is literally "directed toward a center." This describes the tendancy to move toward family connections. It is normal for families under stress to become enmeshed.

Choreography is a process whereby family members are asked to symbolically enact a family pattern or sequence. This is similar to mime or a silent movie. This is acting out something, and that many times takes away the need to do it.

				Tom of Bethany

"He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life." (I John 5:12)

"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)

 

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