A View from the Moon
SWOCC Education, or Southwestern Image?
By Patrick Mooney
Southwester Columnist
As you may know from reading the last issue of The Southwester, there are big changes coming on campus. (You may also know this just from looking around or listening to people talk.) For one thing, the college is planning to build two more student housing units over the summer, even though the ones we have now aren't full. I have yet to figure out what the operant theory is -- I would have thought that the "if you build it, they will come" hypothesis had been disproved by the fact that the year started out with 177 students either in student housing or on the waiting list, while we now have 106 students in the dorms. But what do I know? Maybe we really do need to spend $970,000 to increase the dorm capacity to 198 students.
And, of course, the SWOCC Foundation is buying a statue of a woman reading for $15,000. It seems to me that this is a wise way to spend money. After all, the cost of tuition for a full-time student is $1,665. With that money, the Foundation could offer tuition wavers to nine full-time students. And the committee is hoping to buy a sculpture every year, which means that, if they were to choose to redirect that money to tuition wavers, they could offer those nine tuition wavers every year. But after all, students stay at Southwestern for how long? Two to three years, sometimes edging into four or five? It would be sad to waste that money on something like a student's education when we could buy something permanent, like sculpture. After all, statues are forever; students move on. And this idea of buying a new sculpture every year to create a "sculpture garden," in the words of Board of Education member Kathy Grossman -- that seems like a good idea. It would certainly be a good idea for Southwestern to become "known for its artwork," as board member Kay Heikkila put it. Lord knows, with the cuts in programs that I've noticed, the school won't be known for its education. But at least we'll have art that's "approachable." That's reassuring for someone who wants to transfer to a four-year school. Perhaps I can put that on my transfer application, or mention it in an interview. "No, Sir -- I didn't take many classes towards my major -- well, I did take most of the ones that were offered in the areas -- English and Philosophy -- but the school did have 'approachable art.'"
Hmmmm.
Of course, Southwestern did just install enough Pepsi machines to keep every man, woman, and minor student (there are a few, here and there) drinking Pepsi products from now until they graduate, no matter how many years that may take. But Southwestern has not yet installed computers that will not break down on the day your paper is due. The school will be financing a performing arts center. But no one has financed new books for the library, unless the administration is keeping it a secret. There may be fewer literature classes every year -- but there are more and more sections of Sentence Fundamentals and Paragraph Fundamentals every term. Pretty soon, I suspect, those two classes will have their own building. But what can you expect when a school makes a point of courting a large proportion of its students based solely on athletic ability?
And, of course, tuition is going up again next year -- to $38 per credit hour. Now, this may be just because I was talking to my brother, who attends a community college in California, but $38 per credit-hour seems a little high for students to shell out three times per year. (My Californian brother pays $13 per credit hour, and since he's on the semester system, he only has to cough up twice yearly.)
So -- in the last year, SWOCC (excuse me, Southwestern -- SWOCC sounds like someone clearing his or her throat) has changed its nickname, allied itself with Pepsi, changed food service providers, cut programs, installed (and will soon be expanding) student housing, raised tuition, and bought art. What conclusion am I inevitably led to? Our school used to offer a SWOCC education, and attracted students this way. In modern times, however, and especially since the school's name change, education is simply one product among many that the school is offering -- and not, apparently, one of the most important. What we're trying to foist on consumers now is the Southwestern Image, which is more important than an education could ever be. Why be smart when you can be cool? Perhaps the Administration needs to sponsor a contest to come up with a new slogan for the college. Maybe something like "Southwestern -- we drink Pepsi." Or, since the English program, apparently, isn't all that important, it could be something like "Southwestern -- we gots good art."
Anyway, I hope that these changes satisfy you, the consumer of the Southwestern Image. Perhaps, when you graduate, you could get a certificate of coolness, rather than a diploma. If anyone doubts that you really are cool, you could pull out your certificate as proof.
As for me, though, I'd rather have an education.
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