The Ancient Computer

The two men pulled up in front of the house and checked the address. They got out and walked to the door. The larger of the two rang the doorbell.

An elderly man answered the door. He had snow white hair and a long white beard. He was dressed in a gray hooded robe with thin black vertical stripes.

"Are you Mr. Zark?" the one in charge asked.

"Yes, I'm Benjamin Zark."

"Mr. Zark, I'm Detective Punny, burglary division. This is my partner, Lt. Mystic."

"Yes, I've been expecting you. Please come in." The two policemen followed the old man into the darkened hall. He walked with quick nervous steps, and appeared to be very distressed. He opened a door into what was obviously a study. In the opposite wall was an open safe.

"Please come in and be seated."

"That's an odd accent," thought Punny. "I wonder where the old boy's from."

"OK, Mr. Zark, we understand you had a burglary here last night. Could you tell us about it, please?"

The old man paced back and forth as he spoke. "It's all my fault, I'm afraid. I should have put it back in the vault last night, but somehow I left it out on the desk. You've got to recover it, you simply must. I shudder to think what might happen otherwise."

Detective Mystic tried to calm the old man. "OK, Mr. Zark, we'll do our best, and our record is the best in the state. Try to calm yourself down. What is it that the thieves took?"

"It's a computer, very valuable. I absolutely must get it back."

Detective Punny nodded sympathetically. "I know about computers a little. My PC has all my records in it, letters I've written, fax pictures of criminals and such. I'd hate to lose it, in fact, I'd be lost without it. Did it have all your business records in it?"

"No, there are no records of mine in it. It's the machine itself that's of value."

Detective Mystic took a notebook out of his jacket. "What brand of computer was it, Mr. Zark? Was it a 486, or a Pentium(tm), or what? I assume it was a personal computer and not a mainframe since they were able to carry it away."

"Yes, it was small enough to carry, but it was... this is very difficult to explain. It didn't have a brand name, I'd have to say it was a custom design."

"OK then, we'll need to get some kind of a description. Could you tell us what it looked like?" Detective Punny looked around the room as the old man gave his description. He noticed a number of antiques on the shelves, most of which looked like they were museum quality.

"Well, it has a wooden case, with keyboard attached. The keys are wood, overlaid with ivory, like those of a piano. The case has a very thin covering of gold on it. I'm sure the gold is what attracted the thieves. Oh, and the keys have foreign characters on them."

"I've never heard of such a thing before," Punny said. "Where did you get it?" The old man looked around nervously. "Ah, I got it from a relative. It's been in the family for many years. In fact, you might call it a family heirloom. I absolutely must get it back."

"What kind of a processor did it have, Mr. Zark?" Mystic asked.

This was the second time he'd asked this. The old boy was hiding something, and it showed. He glanced at his partner. Detective Punny gave a barely perceptible nod. He could see it, too.

"I really don't know, gentlemen. I never had the case open. I never used it."

Punny was tired of the game already. "OK, Zark, enough dancing around. Let's cut to the chase. You're guilty of receiving stolen property, aren't you. I noticed all the museum stuff you have around here. Lots of money in it, I'm sure. I've got to advise you that anything you say can be used against you

in a court of law. We'd better get you a lawyer before we go any further."

Mystic played nice guy. "If we're going to be any help to you, you'd better level with us. It's obvious you're trying to hide something."

The old man looked as if his face was going to crack right down the middle. A tear ran down one cheek, and he shook slightly. To their astonishment, he burst out laughing!

"You won't laugh so hard after you're on the other side of the bars, Zark ," said Detective Punny. "It's against the law to turn in a false report, if that's what's so funny."

"Gentlemen, you're absolutely right, and you couldn't be further from the truth. When I called the police, my great fear was that it was lost forever. I see now that the two of you are very perceptive, and that gives me hope. It's true that I haven't been completely candid with you. I have told you the truth, and nothing but the truth. I just haven't told you the whole truth. Frankly, I'm not sure you'll believe me."

Mystic barked at him, "Well, why don't you try us, Mr. Zark. We might surprise you a second time."

The old man sat down and began his tale. "Before we go any further, I must ask you to promise that you will never repeat what I'm about to tell you."

The two Detectives looked at each other. "Only if what you say about being clean holds true, Mr. Zark."

"Fair enough. Forgive me, gentlemen. Those objects you see around the room are family heirlooms, just like the computer I told you about. I'm not involved in any illegal activity, nor have I ever been. I have documents that will back up my claim."

"There is so much to tell. The records... words get corrupted, meanings get misinterpreted, languages change. Legends get distorted. Things get lost. Originally the book said he divided the boat into 'nests', and someone changed that to 'rooms'. They should have left it alone."

"Book?" said Mystic. "What book?" The old man ignored him, or maybe he didn't hear.

"The computer is... hard to describe. It once belonged to an ancestor of mine, a man named Noah. Don't ask where he got it. It's thousands of years old, and its worth is beyond price. It's made of gopher wood, a tree that's now extinct. The gold on it is of little value, compared to what the rest is.

The keys have characters that for a long time I thought were Aramaic, but now I know that they are ancient Hebrew. It may even be dangerous to those who have it."

Detective Mystic interrupted, "So you're saying that this Noah person had this wooden thing that looks like a computer and now it's a couple thousand years old, and it's full of gold, and you want it back. I can understand that, but I don't see how such a thing could be dangerous, unless one of the perps dropped it on his foot."

Punny laughed. Mystic chuckled at his own little joke. The old man looked sad. "I'm afraid I'm not being very succinct. I know I tend to ramble a lot. It isn't just a box that looks like a computer, it is a computer. I know that a computer of such great age is hard to believe, but it's true. I pray that whoever has it hasn't figured out how to turn it on. Nobody knows what it might do."

Detective Mystic's blank look told him that he still didn't understand. "The name 'Noah' has no meaning to you?" He turned pleadingly to Punny. "Detective Punny, you know about computers. Maybe you can explain to your friend. You see, gentlemen, that's how he was able to get all the animals on the boat. He ARChived them."