Scene Five


Lights rise downstage left. CHARLOTTE is on deck talking to THREE WOMEN.
CHARLOTTE
And my father's voice came through so loud and clear, it was as though he were right there in the room.
                                                                     (IRENE enters from the right.)
Oh, Madame Polenska, I was just telling these ladies all about what happened last night. It was so remarkable. When I get home I plan on having an enormous party to introduce you to New York society.
                                                                     (to the Ladies as THEY all exit)
Now give me all your addresses and telephone numbers, because I want to invite you all. (IRENE stands alone on stage, beaming Curtains part, and CHORUS appears. THEY surround Irene and applaud madly. IRENE bows graciously.)
IRENE
Good fortune doesn't come from prayer
Or leprechauns or elves;
No angels floating in the air---
God helps those who help themselves.

I am captain of my ship,
I am master of my soul---
May I suggest
My simple quest
Is absolute control.

CHORUS
She is captain of her ship,
She is master of her soul,
May she suggest
Her simple quest
Is absolute control?
  (IRENE does a cocky little dance moving upstage right just as Horace Standish's office slides into view. SHE reaches it just in time to enter.)
HORACE
Madame Polenska, this is indeed a pleasure!

IRENE

Monsieur Standish...

HORACE

As I wrote you, the Horace Standish Publishing Company takes great pleasure in being the ones to publish your remarkable book.Now, if you will just look over these contracts... (IRENE takes the papers from his hand and peruses them. Then SHE rises, still clutching the papers, and returns to the Chorus.)
IRENE
I am captain of my ship,
No shackles and no bars---
I'm on my own,
I won't condone
My future's in the stars.
CHORUS
She is captain of her ship,
No shackles and no bars---
She's on her own,
She won't condone
Her future's in the stars.
                                                              (Now she dances back to Horace, returns the contracts.)

IRENE

Ah, but a first printing of five thousand editions, that is not very much, no?

HORACE

My dear, Madame Polenska. You must realize there is a limited audience for books of this type. Why even Oliver de Koven---we are his American publishers---you have heard of Dr. de Koven...

IRENE

De Koven...has it not to do with physical culture?

HORACE

You have never heard of Oliver de Koven?

IRENE

I am afraid I do not know men who do pushups.

HORACE

Madame Polenska?! Oliver de Koven is one of the most famous spiritual leaders in the world. He is the author of Meditation and Materialism. He is in New York now.

IRENE

To exercise?

HORACE

And we only publish ten thousand of Dr. De Koven...unless, of course, it goes into a second printing...

IRENE

If you do that for a man who does sit-ups, then you must do that for Polenska.

                                                          (HORACE freezes. IRENE returns to the Chorus.)

IRENE

Fatalism will stifle and confine---
Enterprise means freedom;
Patron saints are yours and mine---
But where are they when you need 'em?
CHORUS
Fatalism will stifle and confine,
Enterprise means freedom;
Patron saints are yours and mine,
But where are they when you need 'em?
                                                                    (IRENE dances back to Horace, who resumes talking.)

HORACE

You drive a hard bargain, Mrs. Polenska. But all right. I will change it to ten thousand. And we shall add to the advance, also. And we shall remove the offensive clause. Let me return this to my lawyers. (IRENE again beams, rises and goes back to the Chorus. HORACE and his office slide out of view.)
IRENE
If you're captain of your ship,
You are free of doubt and fear;
My firm belief's
There are no reefs
If you know how to steer.
CHORUS
If you're captain of your ship,
You are free of doubt and fear;
Her firm belief's
There are no reefs
If you know how to steer. (On the opposite side of the stage, a portion of Charlotte's elegant library slides into view. CHARLOTTE is on the phone.)
CHARLOTTE
I haven't stopped talking about you since I returned. Now, tell me, is three weeks from this coming Saturday night convenient for you? It is? That will give me time to invite as many people as I feel should meet you. From John Jacob Astor to David Belasco. Everyone except that awful Chester Braden.

                                                                    (The set slides away, and IRENE resumes.)
 
 

IRENE

Be captain of your ship
Before it gets too late---
Be captain of your ship
And admiral of your fate!
IRENE & CHORUS
Be captain of your ship
Before it gets too late---
Be captain of your ship
And admiral of your fate! (THEY go into a joyous dance with IRENE at the helm. When it is finished, the music continues in the background. Again upstage right, HORACE's office slides on, only this time it's the outer office we saw first. CARSTAIRS is at his desk, PRUDENCE is at her typewriter. Suddenly the door bursts open and OLIVER DE KOVEN storms into the room followed by HORACE.)
DE KOVEN
You want me to endorse this...this trash?

HORACE

Please, Dr. De Koven. Madame Polenska is a noted spiritual leader.

DE KOVEN

Where? In Pinsk?

HORACE

All over the continent.

DE KOVEN

Balderdash.

HORACE

I received a letter from your London publishers. They're the ones who recommended the book. They're the ones who sent it to me. They're the ones who said that this company must publish this extraordinary manuscript.

DE KOVEN

I don't believe it!

HORACE

Carstairs, where's that letter from Bartholomew & Sons?

CARSTAIRS

I'm afraid, sir, I didn't keep it.

HORACE

What?!!

PRUDENCE

Perhaps you should tell him now.

HORACE

Tell me what???

CARSTAIRS

Well, sir. Every publisher in New York received the exact same letter.

                                                                 (HORACE’s jaw drops.)
 
 


BLACKOUT