Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it but can't eat it.
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw
Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A: Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q: What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A: A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.
Q: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Q: What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. The one who can eat the last donut.
Q: What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A: A pick pocket snatches watches.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A: They're both meat substitutes.
Q: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A: One is a goodyear, and the other is a great year!
Q: What do old women have between their breasts that young women don't?
A: A bellybutton.
Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.