mp3 file Ruddock
Saturday April 8.
A spokesperson for the Immigration Department confirmed late last night that
Philip Ruddock was briefly held in detention on Temptation Island. Details
are sketchy but it appears that the Minister for Immigration was caught trying
to illegally sneak onto the pleasure island in a drunken stupor. Security
guards employed by Channel 7 intercepted Ruddock's small boat as it tried
to land on a remote beach. The abusive Minister had a box of condoms, a bottle
of personal lubricant and half a packet of Viagra in his possession. Department
officials would not be drawn on the possible motivation behind the Minister's
actions.
Resisting calls to sack Ruddock the PM defended the Minister's record, "He enjoys my close affection and grateful support." The leader of the Opposition however demanded the Minister's resignation and launched a Senate Inquiry into the whole affair. "We will be focusing on eye witness accounts and video footage of the incident."
Ruddock, who was holidaying near the South Pacific Island with his family, went missing last Wednesday. Worried minders attempted in vain to track him down with no success. A local fisherman claims that Ruddock approached him in a desperate state and pleaded to be smuggled onto nearby Temptation Island. "I took him just past the reef in my fishing boat and he climbed into the dinghy and started rowing towards the beach." It is believed that the fisherman was financially rewarded for assisting the Immigration Minister.
Channel 7 executives have denied that placing the Minister in virtual detention was heavy handed. "We have to maintain the integrity of the set. We can't have people trying to sneak onto the island in the middle of the night planning god knows what. When he [Ruddock] arrived on the beach we had no idea who he was. He was drunk and wearing only board shorts and a T-shirt. No passport, no identification nothing."
Officials from the Department of Immigration are currently in negotiations with Island authorities on the incident. It is believed that Ruddock will return to Australia on Tuesday. A.A.P