Yesterday, I bought my first pair of thongs. Today I am wearing them. As today is Monday, which means that I am at work, which, as most of you already know, advocates a rather conservative appearance, you can tell that I don't mean the kind you wear on your feet.

I'm not a thongs person by nature. I'm not even a bikini person by nature. My backside deserves coverage, gosh darn it!

There's a reason I'm wearing these. My slacks are made of a lightweight, light colored material, and they are cut very close. It's either thongs or letting the whole world know what kind of underwear I wear.

I can understand why a person would want to wear thongs, though. The close fitting slacks make my backside look more, well, compact, if you will. (And with a backside like mine, a girl needs all the help she can get.) Thanks to the thongs, when I look at my backside in the mirror, I see no lines. If there were panty lines, the whole illusion of having a decently sized backside would be ruined. Let's face it, panty lines are not attractive...except to some people with a warped aesthetic sense.

If I lived in the US, I'd probably be wearing panty hose with them, you know, the kind with a cotton crotch. They don't have those on this side of the pond. Seems the idea never caught on. Maybe people here don't consider nylon a suitable material for direct contact with the skin.

Speaking of nylon...

When I was going through the bargain bin where I found these white cotton thongs, there were plenty of panties of various colors with nylon lace. They cost, even at bargain bin prices, at least twice as much as my plain cotton thongs. 

When I buy bras (it is arguable that a woman with my level of endowment, or rather, lack of endowment, doesn't need to wear one, but like I said, I need all the help I can get), the nice saleslady who measures my bust asks me if I want matching panties. My answer so far has constantly been no. The so-called matching panties are at least 1500 yen, and everyone knows that panties wear out much faster than bras.

Now, I don't get this. Lacy underwear so lovely and so expensive that you're afraid to toss them into the wash with your T-shirts and socks? These things come in contact with body orfices, you know. They need a good washing before being worn again. 

And what about unexpected company? The visitor's been keeping a fairly constant schedule for the past 10 years, and I can usually tell with my cravings for chocolate and stuff (BTW, PMS is not an excuse to be bitchy, O.K.? I realize it exists, but it is not a license to throw monthly temper tantrums...) But there are still those knocks at the door that are a day or two early. Chlorine bleach can work wonders, but these cute little lacy things all say "do not bleach"!

So, in the event that any of the male readers (I believe there are about two of you, and I believe one of you is married, so you'll not be seeing me in my underwear anytime soon, as your wife will have something to say about that to both of us if that happens) find that my underwear isn't lacy, and if that turns you off, please find yourself another backside covered with lace. 

But remember, the lace was probably hand washed. 

>_<